Dear Panera,
Recently, I found myself craving one of your fine cafe menu selections, specifically, the Napa Almond Chicken Salad. I find the all-natural pepper-mustard chicken, fresh celery, seedless grapes, almonds and special dressing creates is a most amazing culinary creation. After succumbing to my weakness for your mouth-watering salad, I found myself in one of your clean and family friendly locations. While enjoying my light lunch, I decided to use your free wireless internet, another excellent service you provide your patrons. However, it was at this very moment which I had a dreadful revelation. I tell you kind sir/ma’am; I nearly sprayed a fine mist of my Iced Chai Tea Latte from the shear surprise of how restrictive your internet policy is! I do not understand why a fine, family establishment such as Panera Bread would want to restrict my ability to bid on a .50 BMG semi-automatic sniper rifle via GunBroker.com? There is no finer an afternoon that I could devise, than one which allows me to enjoy an exotic, fresh salad as I research high capacity handguns or order hollow-tip ammunition! It is therefore with much reserve that I inform you that my love of your exquisite salads and sesame semolina bread is not enough reason to cast aside my love of the boomstick.
A customer, no longer.