I would not do that until you talk to an attorney. I had kids, but the very first thing my attorney (who was awesome BTW) told me was to not move out. Child custody was paramount in our divorce, so perhaps his advice flowed from that, but still, talk to an attorney first.
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Divorce
- Thread starter Warrior1A
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While there is a lot of truth to what you're saying, if the only people who got married were the rare-ish couple that puts in 100%, our society would be hit with a demographic time-bomb (like Japan, or Italy, or China in the future) as the percentage of elderly would become too large. Of course there are single-parent families, or immigration, which few on this site are likely proponents of. Face it, we need imperfect couples to get married and have kids, whether they divorce or not. Best for the kids that they don't divorce, of course, but women have a way of making short-sighted decisions in the interest of personal happiness, where men are more likely to stick it out for the sake of their children.
Marty McFly
NES Member
Nope always the evening when you are tired. Never morning. Lol
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I never registered a gun with any state that I ever lived in and I never will. FA10 is registration, correct? Why is this necessary, unless the end of the long game is confiscation. Why give big brother information that will only be used against you at some point in time? If my LTC or my wife's LTC gets revoked, we move our guns to our home in Florida. I have 9 years to go before I reach 65, retire with a 30 year pension and we are in Florida permanently. Can't come soon enough, but got to stay with my company and finish my career. Too old to look elsewhere!
Figure the fairs split of assets and move on.
Guns are “things” and most can be replaced. Each of you probably has things with higher emotional value than financial value. Respect those things, true up on the values and move on.
Not worth the lingering spite. Life is not a zero sum game. One of you does not have to lose for the other to win.
Guns are “things” and most can be replaced. Each of you probably has things with higher emotional value than financial value. Respect those things, true up on the values and move on.
Not worth the lingering spite. Life is not a zero sum game. One of you does not have to lose for the other to win.
I raised both of my daughters by myself and they are still in my life. I'm not really worried about it.
Absolutely do not move out if you have kids. It will sink your custody chances. That’s what my lawyer told me as well. That was 5 months of hell living with her until we sold the house and moved out.
Nailed it again. Women run and make decisions on pure emotion.
"News flash. You don't know also know what a man is going to turn out to be 10,15,20 years down the road. "
But what we do know is that there over an 80% chance she'll end the marriage.
Men generally try to make the marriage work.
Yup. Granted men can be asses too and act up but they don’t wake up one day and say “I’m not happy” and then run the family through the family court system and f*** the whole family.
thesyguy
NES Member
A buddy of mine went through an ugly divorce a few years ago. He filed because she was such a c*nt and we all knew it. Total bitch. Anyways, after years of taking her shit so he could be with his kids as he knew she would go for full custody and get it in this shithole state, he finally stood his ground and she went nuts when served with the papers. They were both successful and he knew she was not honest about the finances so he hired a forensic accountant to go through the books. They found close to $4 million hidden in accounts in her name only. In the end he got close to $2.5 million and the condo they rented out in downtown Boston. Although he is a much happier person now, his kids won’t speak to him as he is the “bad guy” for divorcing her. It was a tough call but I don’t think he regrets the decision.
you can be the biological father of a child, but in a divorce children are weaponized by the wife in many cases.
Once they have been brainwashed, you are toast.
this is from someone who has not seen or talked to his three surviving children in 30 years.
and I am fine with that.... that wasn't always the case, but it has been the case for almost 20 years now.
Once they have been brainwashed, you are toast.
this is from someone who has not seen or talked to his three surviving children in 30 years.
and I am fine with that.... that wasn't always the case, but it has been the case for almost 20 years now.
Not an option in my case, her 'sister's' a lady-boy. Her father a 'malanambal', a tribal witch doctor and Moro headhunter. Brother a commander in the Maoist NPA. Wasn't dull
Women are funny about color....yah/no/yah
Just from the short post you made I can tell already you have a crappy lawyer
been there done that , once with a crappy lawyer and the second time because of a breach of agreement with a pronominal lawyer , the difference in lawyers is like night and day
you need to be out of that house and the firearms should have been documented as sold back when this began
been there done that , once with a crappy lawyer and the second time because of a breach of agreement with a pronominal lawyer , the difference in lawyers is like night and day
you need to be out of that house and the firearms should have been documented as sold back when this began
Well in the OP's case his wife would tell the popo he has guns, the safe supports this, they check and there are no fa10s. Somewhat unlikely that he NEVER was in a position where one was required. The popo can now investigate that he never submitted the required fa10. So in this hypothetical situation he has provided another weapon for his wife to use and for the popo to charge him with. You can bet that this will be told to the judge as an example that he can't be trusted to follow the law/court rulings, and all his assets must be locked down in order to protect the wife's share of the assets. Oh, and his LTC is gone.
A divorce is different from a criminal trial. You are not looking for reasonable doubt in a jury. You are trying to convince a family court judge who is already on the wife's side. You don't get to say "you have no proof" and have a statement by your wife not allowed. If the judge like what they hear you will need to show some pretty big evidence that the wife is lying. Remember the judes base assumption is you are lying and everything the wife says is God's truth.
Sometimes the best tactic is to avoid the fighting. But even this doesn't always work.
Quite_Exasperated
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I find if I sit down and think about a problem long enough a solution usually presents itself…
Hopefully his kids will understand one day and have a great relationship with thier dad.
Asaltweapon
NES Member
Mine stopped eating meat.
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Google "Vaughn Declaration" for see how deep the screw turns.
GL2020
NES Member
Sorry you're going through this. I was in the same place 5 years ago. It was a long, ugly, stinking, expensive process. But it turned out to be one of th best decisions of my adult life.
Tldr... My divorce, somewhat chronicled here, made "War of the Roses" look like a love story. When all was said and done, I ended up out more than $250k in lost equity, retirement, legal fees, etc. Might have saved $50k of it had been less confrontational. Would also have taken less time (meh) and been a LOT less damaging to my daughter's (BIG deal) and myself (also mostly meh). Point being that you're just a passenger on the merry-go-round, you are NOT driving. The sooner its over, the sooner you start healing.
Your post doesn't mention kids. Assuming there are some... "Winning" for me was defined as who my daughter's call. When they get a job. Break up with a boyfriend. Graduate from college. Have a car accident. Get bored on Saturday. Want to come home for holidays. Etc.
Even if there aren't kids, or they're grown, the point is that you'll heal and recover and move on if you CHOOSE to do so. CHOOSE TO DO SO. otherwise SHE "wins". I have a safe full of guns, shelves of ammo. Lady Radtekk and I have 3 vehicles and a motorcycle. We live in a nice house on 21 acres in Tennessee.
My ex? Basement apartment in Lowell. Beater car. Daughters have both blocked her on social media, one talks to her monthly, the other never.
It'll take a while, and you'll relapse. But the sooner you put her in the rearview the better. And when you look up from rime to time and see she-devil chasing you, hair on fire, tromp the gas pedal.
I wish I had heard this song 10 years ago:
View: https://youtu.be/l50L4GYhpLc
Your post doesn't mention kids. Assuming there are some... "Winning" for me was defined as who my daughter's call. When they get a job. Break up with a boyfriend. Graduate from college. Have a car accident. Get bored on Saturday. Want to come home for holidays. Etc.
Even if there aren't kids, or they're grown, the point is that you'll heal and recover and move on if you CHOOSE to do so. CHOOSE TO DO SO. otherwise SHE "wins". I have a safe full of guns, shelves of ammo. Lady Radtekk and I have 3 vehicles and a motorcycle. We live in a nice house on 21 acres in Tennessee.
My ex? Basement apartment in Lowell. Beater car. Daughters have both blocked her on social media, one talks to her monthly, the other never.
It'll take a while, and you'll relapse. But the sooner you put her in the rearview the better. And when you look up from rime to time and see she-devil chasing you, hair on fire, tromp the gas pedal.
I wish I had heard this song 10 years ago:
View: https://youtu.be/l50L4GYhpLc
Ya , don't hold your breath . Granted in my case there was an extenuating circumstance involving a religious cult so some of you might have met my children when they came ringing your doorbell. Once you are out of a child's life long enough you cease to be a parent and you can't be their friend. it's a lot of ground to make up.
I hope men reading this thread are taking notes.
I was married…Refused to progress to the actual marriage until a prenup was in place. Tough conversation but too often men are are taken to the cleaners by women in this situation.
If you found one of the rare ones that doesn’t just use you for your sperm and then wants you out of the picture to ‘find themselves and grow’ or whatever, you’ll be fine..but still cover your ass.
So, the steps are as follows
I was married…Refused to progress to the actual marriage until a prenup was in place. Tough conversation but too often men are are taken to the cleaners by women in this situation.
If you found one of the rare ones that doesn’t just use you for your sperm and then wants you out of the picture to ‘find themselves and grow’ or whatever, you’ll be fine..but still cover your ass.
So, the steps are as follows
- avoid marriage
- If you don’t want to (not sure why), get a rock solid prenup
- With a prenup, make sure to update both parties financials regularly and marital property as well..be VERY careful when buying large assets together like real estate to add or amend the prenup accordingly
- Don’t EVER get joint accounts
- If you want kids, have them out of wedlock. It shouldn’t take a piece of paper to ensure that you provide for your kids and it also should take a piece of paper for a women to agree to have kids with you
My ex left me with the girls and partied down in Florida until she found and married a sugar daddy. I recently discovered that she quit her job so she's sitting in her husband's house, unemployed and knowing that she missed out on all the milestones in her daughter's life. My oldest daughter sees her maybe once a year and my youngest severed all ties with her years ago. I have no idea how she sleeps at night.
SKumar
NES Member
I was raised in a nuclear family. Both parents are immigrants, father came to this country in the late 60's with $20 in his pocket and has been a highly accomplished model-American citizen ever since. For the first 20 years, we were the typical middle-upper class family: 2 parents, 2 children, suburban house, mercedes benz in the garage, good schools, vacations, parties, etc. Once me and my sister entered adulthood, I remember things really started to fall apart between my parents. I recall as a little kid seeing my parents occasionally fight and my mother refused to feed me and I would go to bed hungry, but that didnt bother me as much as seeing my father take the hit. My mother was very angry, and I never understood why. She came from a shitty family, and my father gave her a lifestyle she could only dream of. He did he best to keep things together for the sake of the family, but since the kids were grown up, I kept encouraging him to cut ties for his sake. My mother would move out on a dime to luxury apartments in surrounding towns, then come home and leave when she wanted. The fighting would turn bad when she smashed plates on the ground, and even scratched his face, leading to a small DV charge.
I never asked who filed first, but the divorce was BRUTAL. I heard words from my mother such as "I'll crush him". I mean, WTF. I'll never forget those words. Take your millions of dollars and get the f*** out. She was fighting hard for properties that were rightfully my fathers (fortunately, she only got those that were non-sentimental). I have an mp3 audio file of the court proceedings, and my mother outright LIED about half the things she answered on questioning. It's unbelievable that my father is still standing after the hit he took.
Ever since, I've dedicated my life towards my father. The wife is out of the picture, the daughter is too self-centered to care, the relatives all dead, the in-laws are my mothers side. I'm all that's left.
Now, my father is continuing to work full time and has a younger girlfriend/caretaker which helps his personal/social life (and I'm keeping a close eye on her, but so far so good). He deserves to be spoiled rotten after all he's gone through in his life. My mother lives in luxury in Boston and runs an art gallery. I tried not to take sides since I'm supposedly neutral, but her inappropriate behavior towards me and my sister left me no choice but to gradually distance myself from her.
I haven't spoken to her in 3 years. When her divorce money runs out (and it will), I won't be found anywhere.
A wise man learns from his own mistakes. A wiser man learns from the mistakes of others. How could my father have prevented this? He wasn't perfect, but he did the absolute best he could and still...
People change. The original reason for marrying may not be applicable 20 years down the line. I'm grateful for my upbringing. I would love to raise children, but I would never do so out of wedlock. Marriage, on the basis of romance, seems like a wonderful thing, but love/romance only lasts so long. Unless there is rock-solid foundation (beyond love/family) to ensure a tight knot between two individuals, then I don't see how it can last forever.
I never asked who filed first, but the divorce was BRUTAL. I heard words from my mother such as "I'll crush him". I mean, WTF. I'll never forget those words. Take your millions of dollars and get the f*** out. She was fighting hard for properties that were rightfully my fathers (fortunately, she only got those that were non-sentimental). I have an mp3 audio file of the court proceedings, and my mother outright LIED about half the things she answered on questioning. It's unbelievable that my father is still standing after the hit he took.
Ever since, I've dedicated my life towards my father. The wife is out of the picture, the daughter is too self-centered to care, the relatives all dead, the in-laws are my mothers side. I'm all that's left.
Now, my father is continuing to work full time and has a younger girlfriend/caretaker which helps his personal/social life (and I'm keeping a close eye on her, but so far so good). He deserves to be spoiled rotten after all he's gone through in his life. My mother lives in luxury in Boston and runs an art gallery. I tried not to take sides since I'm supposedly neutral, but her inappropriate behavior towards me and my sister left me no choice but to gradually distance myself from her.
I haven't spoken to her in 3 years. When her divorce money runs out (and it will), I won't be found anywhere.
A wise man learns from his own mistakes. A wiser man learns from the mistakes of others. How could my father have prevented this? He wasn't perfect, but he did the absolute best he could and still...
People change. The original reason for marrying may not be applicable 20 years down the line. I'm grateful for my upbringing. I would love to raise children, but I would never do so out of wedlock. Marriage, on the basis of romance, seems like a wonderful thing, but love/romance only lasts so long. Unless there is rock-solid foundation (beyond love/family) to ensure a tight knot between two individuals, then I don't see how it can last forever.
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