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Divorce

appraiser said:
Ya , don't hold your breath . Granted in my case there was an extenuating circumstance involving a religious cult so some of you might have met my children when they came ringing your doorbell. Once you are out of a child's life long enough you cease to be a parent and you can't be their friend. it's a lot of ground to make up.
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This sounds way to familiar, are we talking JWs? They know how to destroy family and life's potential in children. They got to 3 of my four.
 
Mr.E said:
I hope men reading this thread are taking notes.
I was married…Refused to progress to the actual marriage until a prenup was in place. Tough conversation but too often men are are taken to the cleaners by women in this situation.
If you found one of the rare ones that doesn’t just use you for your sperm and then wants you out of the picture to ‘find themselves and grow’ or whatever, you’ll be fine..but still cover your ass.

So, the steps are as follows
  1. avoid marriage
  2. If you don’t want to (not sure why), get a rock solid prenup
  3. With a prenup, make sure to update both parties financials regularly and marital property as well..be VERY careful when buying large assets together like real estate to add or amend the prenup accordingly
  4. Don’t EVER get joint accounts
  5. If you want kids, have them out of wedlock. It shouldn’t take a piece of paper to ensure that you provide for your kids and it also should take a piece of paper for a women to agree to have kids with you
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Yeah thanks for this. This thread scares the shit out of me. I have lost count of how many stories and people of horrible divorces I've encountered (including my dad [3 times!], one of my uncles, and one of my grandmothers).

I do disagree with the last point though. I am a Christian and therefore believe that sex (and therefore having kids) should only be done in marriage. But then again, why should the state be involved at all? If I had the option of marrying my sweetie without the involvement of the state, I would do so. But then we wouldn't get the financial benefits. IMO the only reasons for divorce should be infidelity or abuse. The incentive for marriage for men dwindles when a woman decides she can just leave at any point and take half of your stuff. And of course not to get too into the political weeds, but this is precisely the outcome the left wanted, because apathy towards marriage accelerates the demise of the traditional nuclear family, further eroding values and allowing a further cultural shift.

My condolences to OP and the others in the thread who have been through it. I've been with my gf for almost 5 years and she's begging me to marry her. Absolutely will not do it without a prenup and definitely will research state laws and avoid doing it in/while residents of MA.
 
thesyguy said:
A buddy of mine went through an ugly divorce a few years ago. He filed because she was such a c*nt and we all knew it. Total bitch. Anyways, after years of taking her shit her being emotionally abusive
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There, I fixed it. Abusive domestic relationships aren’t always physical, and society largely ignores the preponderance of emotionally abusive female spouses/partners.
 
Interesting....

ifstudies.org

Want to Avoid Divorce? Wait to Get Married, But Not Too Long

If you hope to avoid divorce, what’s the ideal age to get married? For years, it seemed like the longer you waited to marry, the better. That’s because the relationship between age at marriage and divorce risk was almost linear: The older you were, the lower the chances of divorce. Although...
ifstudies.org ifstudies.org
 
appraiser said:
Ya , don't hold your breath . Granted in my case there was an extenuating circumstance involving a religious cult so some of you might have met my children when they came ringing your doorbell. Once you are out of a child's life long enough you cease to be a parent and you can't be their friend. it's a lot of ground to make up.
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Damn!
 
Dennis in MA said:
FWIW - I think most guys are blindsided by divorce. So thThey aren't 100% sure this is the "one" but they don't wanna be left alone or have to go "fishing" again. ey get married. Then they forget to put the time in. One day, they get served. It's an utter shock to them. "How could she do this?" Marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. If you weren't planning on giving 100%, you shouldn't have gotten married. Even if the prospects of getting laid in the subsequent 5 years were slim.

And I truly am sorry some of you are going through this. AND, those here who realized hte material things were the LEAST of their issues - were the smartest.
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I think a lot of people do this. Both men and women. I was my ex's first GF so he probably didn't even know what he wanted in life.
A lady I worked with found out on her anniversary that her husband didn't love her and only married her because he knew she would be an awesome mom for his kid. Yeah, she left him and he's probably to this day telling everyone she's a home wrecker.

On both sides most people only look for the good things about a potential spouse. They don't walk the hall of consequences by considering the negatives. Then they are surprised when everything isn't perfect. A lot of times the signs are there in the beginning but new relationships are always so bright and shiny.

Another lady I know is desperate to get married because life is hard. I told her it doesn't make life easier. You just trade single person problems for married people problems. It's just a different set of things to deal with.
 
My divorce was fun. We agreed on everything, amicable split, little hostility, shared lawyer. The judge, however, didn't give a rat's ass, gave her the house, both cars, all the money, and my dog. I got my socks and my cat. This AFTER she stabbed me in front of the chief of police.
 
Cowgirlup said:
I think a lot of people do this. Both men and women. I was my ex's first GF so he probably didn't even know what he wanted in life.
A lady I worked with found out on her anniversary that her husband didn't love her and only married her because he knew she would be an awesome mom for his kid. Yeah, she left him and he's probably to this day telling everyone she's a home wrecker.

On both sides most people only look for the good things about a potential spouse. They don't walk the hall of consequences by considering the negatives. Then they are surprised when everything isn't perfect. A lot of times the signs are there in the beginning but new relationships are always so bright and shiny.

Another lady I know is desperate to get married because life is hard. I told her it doesn't make life easier. You just trade single person problems for married people problems. It's just a different set of things to deal with.
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Chris Rock said it best…” there is no happiness! U are either single and lonely or married and miserable” 😂
 
hillman said:
My divorce was fun. We agreed on everything, amicable split, little hostility, shared lawyer. The judge, however, didn't give a rat's ass, gave her the house, both cars, all the money, and my dog. I got my socks and my cat. This AFTER she stabbed me in front of the chief of police.
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And yet, females still think they have it as bad us in a divorce. They haven't got a clue.
 
Rob Boudrie said:
No. In the worst case your child support will continue through and including his/her undergraduate years. Yes, really (at least in MA)
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Not in NH. My ex refused to contribute to our daughters education.
As soon as they graduated from high school or turned 18, whichever came last, child support stopped.
 
Looking back, my divorce did cost me a whooping $275, the MA required tax. The judge kept asking" Are you aware that you are entitled to a significant part of your husband's possessions?" Luckily the divorce was mutually agreed and she kept her word. I got out in the best way possible. I have friends that lost everything in the same process. Horrible thing.
 
You're in Ma. and you have no rights. You're wife could be a junkie with a record and she still will take you to the cleaners. Avoid her at all costs and don't spend a shit load on a lawyer because the judge will side with wifey no matter what and you are the bad guy. MOVE your firearms and let the lawyers and judge do their thing and never talk to her again. Mine was a shitbag but was desperate so I bargained with her to keep her hands off my Military pension, she got 1/2 MIT my pension and 401k and paid part of her medical insurance thru company.
 
Fishfinder said:
And yet, females still think they have it as bad us in a divorce. They haven't got a clue.
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True, but not enough find out like my examples below did!
They really find out once a man starts to play games with child support or they need something fixed around the house they stole! It doesn't take long for them to sell the house they stole and move into a condo with fees they just barely can afford to pay for.
I knew of a guy who kept changing jobs every six months. Each new job paid less than the previous. His kids still HAD ALL THEY NEEDED and she had nothing! The judge kept reducing his payment each and every time he appealed the monthly amount. Once child support was over, he got a job in his original profession again, the kids never suffered, and he lived happily ever after!
Another guy I knew ended up receiving alimony from his ex wife who was an ICU nurse. She paid for his brand new, fully loaded Dodge 4x4 P/U and he proudly let her know it!
 

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