SCENE: Interior, nondescript clinic exam room, patient in paper gown, doctor in starched white coat
Doctor: We've got all your test results back.
Patient: So what is it, Doc?
Doctor: Well, it seems that there is a radical group of deranged cells that have gotten into your bloodstream.
Patient: How far has it spread?
Doctor: Well, there seem to be substantial collections of these diseased cells in all the major organs of your body.
Patient: What can you do about it?
Doctor: Well, we have to spread them out so the effect isn't concentrated in a single area, We're going to transport them to organs that haven't been affected yet.
Patient: Can it be eliminated?
Doctor: Well, our current treatment strategy has them on the run. This isn't a top tier disease, it's more like the JV team of diseases.
Patient: So this is cancer, right?
Doctor: Well, we don't call it cancer, because that might offend pre-cancerous cells. We call it Interstitial Somatic Invasion Syndrome, also known as... well you can do the acronym yourself.
Patient: Can we at least use some potent chemotherapy to combat it?
Doctor: No, that might damage some of the healthy tissue, can't risk that.
Patient: So what's the prognosis?
Doctor: You're gonna die. The good news though is that we've lined up James Taylor to sing at your funeral.
Patient (weakly): Yay!