Wife won't let guns in the house

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Sibb

Sibb

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I don't have this problem, but many of my friends that I take shooting do. They want to take up a shooting sport, but the wife or GF puts the foot down.

This has prevented them from going ahead and getting a license. Is anyone out there in this situation or know someone that is? If so what did you\they come up with for their off site storage solution?
 
Well if it's a wife and they put their foot down about guns in the house, you should have done your homework first. All you can do is ease them into the sport and make it enjoyable till they tolerate it or become interested. If it's a GF, her ass would exit the door so fast you'd have to use your hearing protection for the sonic boom. At a few days shy of the big 4-0 and being single, if I met someone and they didn't like guns, I just move on.
 
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Buy a safe, bolt it to the floor and don't give her the combo.

Then buy guns.

If she says she wants to leave thats up to her.
 
Sibb said:
I don't have this problem, but many of my friends that I take shooting do. They want to take up a shooting sport, but the wife or GF puts the foot down.

This has prevented them from going ahead and getting a license. Is anyone out there in this situation or know someone that is? If so what did you\they come up with for their off site storage solution?
Click to expand...

Tell your metrosexual friends to grow a set. That from someone married to an anti for 36yrs not someone just spouting off.
 
There are numerous threads on here about "wife hates guns" etc. If it was me, I'd be like "The door is over there if you don't like it" but I realize for many people it's not quite that simple. The way I look at it though, is if a woman dumps you because you happen to buy some guns, the relationship wasn't worth keeping anyways.

For offsite storage all they can really do that's economical is find a gun owning friend with some space.... The guy can buy his own safe and put it in the friend's house, etc.

-Mike
 
Are these friends adults? If so, tell them to act like it. Just because you're married/in a relationship doesn't mean your partner get's to control your life. If your friends have the desire to own firearms and can do so without causing undue financial strain, they should do so. I really don't get why guys struggle with this. Most women I know, including my wife, would flip the f*** out if a guy "put his foot down" on something she wanted to do or buy or whatever. Yet guys let women do it to them all the time. Seriously, try a little experiment. Next time your wife says she's going to the store to buy whatever, put your foot down and tell her no. Then get some blankets and a pillow and make a bed for yourself on the couch.
 
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I've gone through that with my wife. In my case the catalyst that finally pushed her over to my side was the neighbor's son who verbally assaulted her and was a couple of inches away from physically assaulting her. With that having been said, she is still not 100% comfortable around guns, even though she too has an LTC. When I started to bring firearms in to the house, I made sure that I got the biggest and best safe I could afford at the time. That eased her mind. I've taken her shooting and she's enjoyed that very much. She won't admit it but I know that secretly she is glad that I have a gun on me every time we go someplace iffy.
 
All great advice, don't have much to add except that I am the woman who had the man put his foot down and tell me what I could and couldn't do. That included NO GUNS ever in this house. My kids weren't allowed nerf or water guns to play with. Well, I grew some @##! and divorced him after 20 years! :) Now I have my LTC, 5 guns, my boys have pellet guns, bb guns and go shooting every weekend with me!
Don't ever let anyone control you, man or woman!!!
 
Unlike the rest of the "Wife/girlfriend-doesn't-like-guns" threads, the OP here isn't asking for a way to convince her to like guns (which is good because those threads are completely idiotic).

He's asking for an off-site storage solution.

My advice would be for your friends to find a somebody that they trust, buy them a safe, and have them hold onto the guns.

Then go make me a sammich.
 
Check with the club they wish to join. Perhaps they have room in the safes or have the room for another one. Then again, there might be some insurance issues, or overall accessibility issues.
 
I welcome any and all loaded gun safes to be stored at my house. I have a few rules about it though.
1- i get the combo and free usage of any and all guns
2- you supply the ammo
 
My wife has no interest in going to the range with me, isn't interested in talking about or seeing my guns, and never asks how they are secured, even though we have a toddler. She knows that I am responsible and trusts that I keep my guns safe. If your partner doesn't trust you to do the same, you have bigger problems than whether or not you can bring guns in the house.
 
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[popcorn] would be nice to hear a Anti's point of view... not that I agree or anything, just making it a 2 way street. maybe they have things i never thought of. or can come to rational conclusion. only 30 guns or so
 
A couple of pages of responses and I did not see one mention of getting the wife/girlfriend to attend a Woman on Target event.
I suggest a WOT event as it helped change 2 of the woman in my life.
 
I learned my lesson the hard way, I tried to help a friend with a "anti wife," and I only made matters worse. My 2 cents is to not get involved.
 
This again

Everytime this topic comes up, we see the same advice: Grow some, be a man, be an adult, grow-up, etc

Sorry, that is garbage advice. Why?

1) It's advice coming from people who long ago made a decision that this sport is a high priority in their life.
2) It is generally (though not always, thanks for mentioning) coming from people who are not in that situation
3) It forces the "It's me or the guns" decision when that decision might not have to be made.
4) The people asking for this advice have generally not made the decision that this sport is a high priority in their life.


Here's some more thoughtful advice:

Step 1 - Try to identify the reason for "I don't want guns in my house" It may be possible to find a solution to her problem without forcing a "I know you don't want this, but tough" confrontation with someone you love.

Step 2 - Once the issue has been raised, try to provide a mutually acceptable solution. Solicite a mutually acceptable solution from your wife/girlfriend. - I really enjoy this shooting, it makes me happy/relaxed/destressed, etc. In order to continue to improve, I need my own firearm. Is there something I can do so you'll be comfortable with me having a gun?

Step 3 - Repeat Usually, once you address 1 concern, a new on will come up. This means you'll have to go back through it. It can be tough, but try to give it some time.

Step 4 - While going through this, try offering to let her try shooting. Offer to take her, offer to pay for her to go to a "Lady's Night" (as long as it isn't the night you ALWAYS go shooting) offer to pay for her to take a class, try to find something she's comfortable with trying. Offer and encourage, but don't push.

Step 5 - If you've done all of the above and you feel like you aren't getting aware, now you have a priority choice to make:

1) Conceed to her needs/desires/fears. Decide she is more important to you than the sport and that you're not going to push it.
2) Conceed to her needs/desires/fears. Decide her happiness is more important than your convience and look into an off-site storage solution. If you're the member of a range, they may be willing to rent you space in their safe. If you always go shooting with the same friends, ask if they have space (or are willing to store a safe for you) and are willing to store your guns at their place for you. - This eliminates the ability to use that gun for self-defense
3) Decide that the sport is worth the risk. Pick up a safe, cable lock and trigger lock plus a gun. Partially disassemble the gun, install both the trigger lock and cable lock on the partially disassembled gun and store it in the safe. Don't buy ammunition. This should minimize the impact, but understand that you are still risking the "You chose guns over me" reaction.
4) Decide that the sport is worth the risk. Pick up a gun, ammunition and safe. Toss the gun in the safe, store the ammunition seperately. Less hassle, but also less accomidating of your wife/girlfriend's wants/needs/fears.
5) Decide that the sport is more important than your wife/girlfriend's wants/needs/fears. Go out and buy a gun, store it according to local safe storage laws. Be prepared that you've forced the issue and created an ultimatum and be prepared to accept the results.


On the flip-side:
If you have been involved in shooting sports and have several guns, you need to make sure when you start a new relationship that the person you are getting involved with knows and understands your hobbies/sports/lifestyle and accepts it before the relationship gets serious so you can deal with this issues long before they become problems.
 
I believe it was Greg here on NES who once said that most problems in America could be solved by making every child entering Kindergarten eat a big spoonful of peanut butter. Then questions like this don't arise.
 
Round Gun Shooter said:
Tell your metrosexual friends to grow a set. That from someone married to an anti for 36yrs not someone just spouting off.
Click to expand...
Indeed.

Larry Legend said:
Check with the club they wish to join. Perhaps they have room in the safes or have the room for another one. Then again, there might be some insurance issues, or overall accessibility issues.
Click to expand...
I've been to several clubs in eastern MA. I don't know of any club that provides such storage for members.
 
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TimMcG74 said:
My wife has no interest in going to the range with me, isn't interested in talking about or seeing my guns, and never asks how they are secured, even though we have a toddler. She knows that I am responsible and trusts that I keep my guns safe. If your partner doesn't trust you to do the same, you have bigger problems than whether or not you can bring guns in the house.
Click to expand...

My situation is similar with my wife. She has shot (is actually a very good shot) but does not find shooting enjoyable. She trusts me (we also have a toddler) and I agree, if your spouse doesn't trust you, you have bigger problems, but realizing that doesn't help address any of the issues. It is, however, a sign that it's time to try and find out what those deeper issues really are.
 
Maybe a safe in the garge is a possible compromise? I'm not sure if it matters (legally) whether it's an attached or detached garage but it might be worth researching.

Another possibility would be at work. Particurly if he has his own office or better yet he owns the business.
 
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