HAHAHA! I worked with one of them ~20 yrs ago at texas instruments. His name was Javier Cruz. I'll never forget him. He made up some of the best stories. If you gave him even the slightest bit of encouragement he would go on and on. He used to love telling people how he was a master in Dim Mak, AKA The Touch of Death. He said that the reason he left whatever 3rd world shithole he is from and came here is because he accidentally killed his master during a sparring session.
I think the best story came out the day I rode my new motorcycle in to work. A few friends and I were having a conversation about bikes when he jumped in. He started telling us about his bike, which of course was a ninja, and all the mods he had done to it. How it was so fast it was actually illegal in this country! lol So I had to ask, "How fast is it?"
He said he wasn't sure what the exact top speed was because they don't make a speedometer that goes high enough... Of course they don't how silly of me not to realize.
He then went on to describe, "this one time", when he went under the fall river gov center overpass at full speed and made it from there to providence in... wait for it....... 12 sec.
I swear I could hear the eyes rolling in the room. By this time there are about 15 people listening to his shit. So I casually bust out the calculator on my side and do a little quick math. Then the fun started.
me- "Wow. Was it tough weaving through traffic traveling at over a mile per second?"
him- "No."
me- "What was it like breaking the sound barrier on a motorcycle?"
him "Huh?"
me- "Well you had to be traveling at 4500 MPH to go 15 miles in 12 seconds."
him- "well I must have been. Like I said I don't have a speedometer"
me, holding back hysterical laughter,- "How did you breath? At that speed if you took a breath the pressure would have destroyed your lungs."
him- "I held my breath. It was only 12 seconds..."
I should have known
me- "You should have called guiness. The previous land speed record was around 700 MPH and it took several rocket engines to reach that speed."
him- stammer stammer...
me- "Hell you beat the old record by 6.5X. At that speed you were traveling at just under 6x the speed of sound. That is hypervelocity. That pretty much makes your motorcycle the fastest thing on the planet!
By that point everyone had erupted in hysterical laughter and he was taking a good hard look at whatever was on the top of his shoes...
Just because I'm a prick I didn't let up and started asking mod and physics questions.
"How long is your swing arm? What did you have to do aerodynamically to keep the pike from flipping. How do your carbs get air when you are essentially traveling in a vacuum? How do you hold on to the bars at those speeds? How did your tire not pop from the heat of compressing the air when traveling that fast? If you started breaking in providence, were you in CT by the time you came to a stop?
It was epic. After that I asked him every day when he was going to bring the bike in so we could go for a cruise at lunch.
I never did get to se that bike...