Dumb wannabe gun owners say

[rkwjunior]

Two questions, is his name Robert and did he create this webpage?

http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

^^^ This is a quote from that website. I burst out laughing.

"Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee)."

 

[J.A.C]

ha yeah the website is good for a few laughs, the hate mail is good too.

 

[Woodstone]

The weird thing is, I usually meet these types of people the OP mentions in different phases of my life. They're all different guys, but they all act the same way. Absolute compulsive liars who paint non-stop weird fantasy lifestyles for themselves. Met one in high school, one in college (one of my RAs), and also one during an intern I took up during college.

Haven't run into one of these kooks since. and hope I won't in the near future, but I'm pretty it'll happen again. It's some sort of mental or social deficiency.

Had a guy like this working for me...no I did not hire him...but I did fire him after about two weeks...

Anything you talk about, he'd one up...

"I can headshot 300 yards with a paintball gun"

 

[one-eyed Jack]

sounds like a bad sear to me.. I have seen a 1911 go FA.. it is friggin scary.

I'd get that fixed.

Would need a shoulder stock. (The thing that goes up). Jack.

 

[chrbla2000]

The best one I heard in the past, and I'm paraphrasing:

Him: "I shoot too, in fact, I bored out my .22 revolver to shoot .45"
Me, (deadpan) "awesome, you need to show that to me"
Him, "...naw, it ain't exactly legal, so until I know you better, it'll stay locked away."

-chris

 

[AngelKing]

he quit, but I have a LOT of stories after having worked with him for 3 years. I might post in off topic in a running post entitled 'shit my warehouse guy says"

Epic! Can you have more interaction with him for the sake of NES humor?

 

[browncoat]

Had a guy like this working for me...no I did not hire him...but I did fire him after about two weeks...

Anything you talk about, he'd one up...

"I can headshot 300 yards with a paintball gun"

What's the drop on a paintball at 300 yards? It's gotta be like 20 feet

 

[StevieP]

Would need a shoulder stock. (The thing that goes up). Jack.

thereby outing yourself as a wannabe tactical mall ninja.

We real operators (and Senators) know it's a barrel shroud that's the shoulder thing that goes up.

 

[Woodstone]

What's the drop on a paintball at 300 yards? It's gotta be like 20 feet

World Record is apparently a 250 foot shot! (300 yards = )

http://www.hammerheadpaintball.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=37&Itemid=37

HA!

 

[whacko]

OMG too funny. I worked with a dude like twenty years ago that was just like this.....and he too was a warehouse guy. Drove a crown vic with the spotlight kit on the driver side.........cb radio with wilson antenna on the trunk.......was a part time mall security cop.........always taking shit about guns and he didn't even own any. WIERD......dude!

 

[Billsail]

What's the drop on a paintball at 300 yards? It's gotta be like 20 feet

They're likely to hit the ground at 150 holding for max elevation.

 

[RImike]

Pretty much any reference to Call of Duty/Battlefield firearms, especially when people downplay shotguns in real life and how useless they are.

 

[PaulR]

Ever since they closed the state hospitals.............

 

[Gibbs]

...but did tell me he was trained as a ninja, ate deer hearts for the antibiotic properties and that his mother is an Indian Medicine woman....Either way, great fiction.

"...1 in 25 ordinary Americans secretly has no conscience and can do (or say) anything at all without feeling guilty."

 

[Quiet]

Here's a conversation

"I used to go shooting but I can't anymore, I have security clearance and I have to take unannounced drug tests."

"You have security clearance to work here?"

"Yes, they took fingerprints and everything"

"That's for bonding"

"No, I work in maintenance"

Mental facepalm. "We don't have drug tests here"

"They're unannounced"

"Did you have to take one to get hired?"

"No, but (co-worker) told me they can happen at any time"

mental facepalm: "I think he's kidding you"

"No he was serious"

"OK, but what does a drug test have to do with shooting?"

"He said that since we're a gun-free workplace they also test for gun powder on your hands."



Well, it's Friday, I figured I'd make up a fake story to entertain you.
Not that I'm saying OPs guy is made up. Just if you don't know the guy, what's the difference?

 

[hv55maxx]

he quit, but I have a LOT of stories after having worked with him for 3 years. I might post in off topic in a running post entitled 'shit my warehouse guy says"

Dear god please do. Like a Friday morning funnies type gig

 

[whacko]

Dear god please do. Like a Friday morning funnies type gig

X2

 

[Dreadknot65]

Sounds like a real character. Should start more threads of what he says. I would find it a good laugh.

 

[Lima85]

he quit, but I have a LOT of stories after having worked with him for 3 years. I might post in off topic in a running post entitled 'shit my warehouse guy says"

That would be acceptable. I need to hear more

 

[jefftk]

Well, it's Friday, I figured I'd make up a fake story to entertain you.
Not that I'm saying OPs guy is made up. Just if you don't know the guy, what's the difference?

 

[AngelKing]

My first week of training here involved having to work in the warehouse. This all makes sense because I was new to the industry, had to learn the material, where it was and because the warehouse is the backbone of the operation, its critical. This kid wasn't the manager per se, but was the most senior guy in the warehouse.

The very, and I mean VERY first thing he tells me is that he was once in a gang and showed off some shitty prison tattoos. I later found out he wasn't in a gang and was never in prison, claimed he was in Walpole for a B&E and assault. He would go on constantly about how he spoke all these languages, especially Spanish, on account that he was married to a wealthy Mexican girl who owned a prominent company in WOrcester....which I later found out was actually owned by 3M, but hey, what one lie from another, right?

Onto the languages. About 6 months into the job, I have to hire a driver. I hire a Puerto Rican kid who of course, speaks Spanish. I mean all day to the point of annoyance, he's on the phone with his wife, talking Spanish while loading the truck. On his second day, I told the new driver that the warehouse guy spoke fluent Spanish, so the second I tell him that, he runs over to him talking in Spanish.

Surprise, the warehouse guy didn't undertstand a word he said.

his excuse? "oh, well that's because Mexicans speak an entirely different kind of Spanish"

- I think you mean dialect.

"no its like Mexican Spanish, vs Puerto Rican Spanish"

- Um, I don't think that's a thing.

"no really it is. Besides, my wife speaks it, but I don't allow her to speak it at home because I want the kids to speak English, I think she forgot how to speak it."

Um...Im going to go now. You just made me dumber.

 

[PaulR]

 

[jtnf]

Sounds like a real character. Should start more threads of what he says. I would find it a good laugh.

Couch Commando Megathread!

I grew up next to a guy who was (as he told it) the baddest badass on the planet, like the love child of Chuck Norris and Stephen Segal with James Bond for a godfather.
Sniper with so many kills they were classified, intelligence services, the whole storyline.

He was a 6'6", 400+lb electrical engineer with a build like Baby Huey!

 

[Burgundy41]

I love that Robocop's gun is based on the Beretta 93R too. You think he'd at least get that right.

 

[PD7]

25 ish y/o kid at orientation for a range asked if "dual wielding" was allowed. Yup, you guessed it, his next question was if shooting full auto was allowed. Guy giving the orientation face palmed and asked if he even had his LTC or FID yet. Nope.

 

[drgrant]

This guy who a friend of mine and I took shooting claimed he was a vietnam vet. (he was some guy from his work, don't even remember his name)

I don't remember all the crap that guy spewed but this is the best part...

We had (between my friend and I) two ARs and two AKs. There was lots of bloviation from this guy about the M16 blah blah blah.. (I forgot it all, because honestly whenever I hear that stuff, I usually just tune it right out subconciously, as I don't want to become dumber just from hearing it).

Anyways, during a lull in the shooting this guy proceeds to stuff a whole bunch of 7.62 x 39 rounds in a 20 round AR mag. And to top it off... they were in backwards. I literally facepalmed when I saw it. At least it never made it to be inserted into a rifle.

-Mike

 

[OCB]

I imagine if this guy is making up all kinds of lies like that, he must find his real life to be pretty unfulfilling.

 

[whacko]

This thread is just full of win!

Warehouse guy I worked with years ago while I was a on a break in service (he was new and did not know I had been in the Army) starts going on about his time in the Marines. Said he was in the "Night Rangers". No shit.......total face palm. I said dude for one thing the "rangers" are an Army unit and "Night Ranger" is a band that played some real shitty music. Then of course he starts blah blahin about how I don't know what hes talking about because the night rangers are a classified marine ourfit. This dude was like 24 years old. Total couch commando.

- - - Updated - - -

25 ish y/o kid at orientation for a range asked if "dual wielding" was allowed. Yup, you guessed it, his next question was if shooting full auto was allowed. Guy giving the orientation face palmed and asked if he even had his LTC or FID yet. Nope.

Praying that if this was for membership at a gun club he was denied.

 

[Nafets]

Where's the link to this youtube video? It's even funnier with the audio of the the guy making mouth explosions LOL!

 

[bill o]

My first week of training here involved having to work in the warehouse. This all makes sense because I was new to the industry, had to learn the material, where it was and because the warehouse is the backbone of the operation, its critical. This kid wasn't the manager per se, but was the most senior guy in the warehouse.

The very, and I mean VERY first thing he tells me is that he was once in a gang and showed off some shitty prison tattoos. I later found out he wasn't in a gang and was never in prison, claimed he was in Walpole for a B&E and assault. He would go on constantly about how he spoke all these languages, especially Spanish, on account that he was married to a wealthy Mexican girl who owned a prominent company in WOrcester....which I later found out was actually owned by 3M, but hey, what one lie from another, right?

Onto the languages. About 6 months into the job, I have to hire a driver. I hire a Puerto Rican kid who of course, speaks Spanish. I mean all day to the point of annoyance, he's on the phone with his wife, talking Spanish while loading the truck. On his second day, I told the new driver that the warehouse guy spoke fluent Spanish, so the second I tell him that, he runs over to him talking in Spanish.

Surprise, the warehouse guy didn't undertstand a word he said.

his excuse? "oh, well that's because Mexicans speak an entirely different kind of Spanish"

- I think you mean dialect.

"no its like Mexican Spanish, vs Puerto Rican Spanish"

- Um, I don't think that's a thing.

"no really it is. Besides, my wife speaks it, but I don't allow her to speak it at home because I want the kids to speak English, I think she forgot how to speak it."

Um...Im going to go now. You just made me dumber.

I had an IT guy installing software and he was telling me stories about how he was an Arabic speaking interrogator stationed in Iraq with the Army. It was at the VA, so a lot of vets working there. My officemate started speaking Arabic to him and the guy stared off and tried to change the subject. Very strange.