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Dumb wannabe gun owners say
- Thread starter AngelKing
- Start date
If you've never watched this, I highly suggest you take the ~6 minutes to sit down, strap in and tune out. I laughed for hours after watching this the first time...
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warwickben
bubba Kalashnikov
It's been done lol .
A 07 on a site I'm on took a few parts from a saiga .410 and and made a ak in 45colt full auto . A bunch of guys wanted more info on it but he would explain what he did.
I wished I had a 07 so I could make the 45acp ak I'm collecting parts for full auto .
MisterHappy
NES Member
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2009
- Messages
- 28,411
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- 17,599
Those that don't know, talk
Those that know, don't talk
They post.
![[laugh]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/012.gif "Laugh [laugh]")
Those that know, don't talk
They post.
Impossible.
All applicants to NES must submit to a polygraph test after paying their membership.
(Well, I guess this guy could've beaten the test...Ninja training...)
knoxy
NES Member
![[shocked]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/007.gif "Shocked [shocked]")
Thanks for linking that. Wow. DoctorRain's posts sure take the cake.
At the range one day with some buddies and a friend of a friend.
[FOAF]: Hey. You mind if I shoot a few rounds from your shotgun.
[ME]: Sure
*so I load a few shells, leave it unchambered and hand it to him and I begin to tell him how to shoot it....
[FOAF]: Yayaya, I know how to operate it, I've shot a shotgun before.
He pulls it up to a firing position, aims, and pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. Looks at it and goes "Ahhh" and flips the safety from "OFF" to "ON". Puts the rifle into firing position again, aims and pulls trigger....nothing. At this point he's confused.
[ME]: *Laughing* Try racking a round into the chamber
[FOAF]: "Oh ya!"
At this point, he puts his left hand on the slide and tries yanking the slide down. It doesn't budge. So he tries again with a little more force. Still not budging as his hand slips off and smashes into the gun. At this point the rest of us are dying laughing.
[ME]: I thought you knew how to operate a shotgun.
[FOAF]: ......*silence*.....
Go play some more COD kid.
[FOAF]: Hey. You mind if I shoot a few rounds from your shotgun.
[ME]: Sure
*so I load a few shells, leave it unchambered and hand it to him and I begin to tell him how to shoot it....
[FOAF]: Yayaya, I know how to operate it, I've shot a shotgun before.
He pulls it up to a firing position, aims, and pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. Looks at it and goes "Ahhh" and flips the safety from "OFF" to "ON". Puts the rifle into firing position again, aims and pulls trigger....nothing. At this point he's confused.
[ME]: *Laughing* Try racking a round into the chamber
[FOAF]: "Oh ya!"
At this point, he puts his left hand on the slide and tries yanking the slide down. It doesn't budge. So he tries again with a little more force. Still not budging as his hand slips off and smashes into the gun. At this point the rest of us are dying laughing.
[ME]: I thought you knew how to operate a shotgun.
[FOAF]: ......*silence*.....
Go play some more COD kid.
i.. i dont even know what to say. i sat here reading that thread and one of my regular customers came in... he asked me what was wrong, because i had such a horrified look on my face.
i'm now thinking about what would happen if he came into a LGS and started with that BS. how long would he last before he was forcibly kicked out?.. not too long, i think
warwickben
bubba Kalashnikov
What about that guy that was in the store when I was there . Look down my barrel why are there groves ..........
Lol
Billsail
NES Member
I'm gonna bet he was looking down the wrong end of the barrel when he found out that it was rifled too, wasn't he?
warwickben
bubba Kalashnikov
I was trying not to laugh out loud at the dude cause I new it was the rifling right off the bat.
And I have to hand it to her cause she didn't make the guy feel stupid etc.
you noticed that i had to keep excusing myself to go out back right? you didnt see the silent screaming and stomping or wild-eyed stare...
i am by NO means an expert.. on anything, really.... but yeeeeeesh, some of the stuff gun owners ask me here at the shop... i am very proud that i've never facepalmed in front of some of them.
warwickben
bubba Kalashnikov
I new you didn't ask the guy out back .
I was like wtf she left me here trying to keep a straight face lol .
i totally did ask him! it went like this:
"
![[hmmm]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/009.gif "Hmm [hmmm]")
this guy out here says there are grooves in his barrel...![[rolleyes]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/042.gif "Roll Eyes [rolleyes]")
can you confirm with your male voice that yes, this is rifling, and it is supposed to be there? i dont think he believes me because i have boobs. ![[banghead]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/045.gif "Bang Head [banghead]")
.... thank you!"
You do realize this is effing gold, right? I'm only two pages into this thread, but I have to insist that you mine this guy HARD. Set 'em up, and let this guy knock 'em down. Encourage this shit! Let his imagination get a workout and let us laugh hard and long. Who knows? This could produce the best stories since double ceramic plates on the local mall SWAT guy... and we'll know for certain this guy isn't trolling. Ok, six more pages for me to read...
I'm gonna need to hear more stories about this clown. Seriously.![[rofl]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/013.gif "ROFL [rofl]")
So much this.
Not this.
Hmm. I'd want to know the guy isn't a sweeper before going this far, but it has future potential.
EDIT:
So much disappoint.
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HAHAHA! I worked with one of them ~20 yrs ago at texas instruments. His name was Javier Cruz. I'll never forget him. He made up some of the best stories. If you gave him even the slightest bit of encouragement he would go on and on. He used to love telling people how he was a master in Dim Mak, AKA The Touch of Death. He said that the reason he left whatever 3rd world shithole he is from and came here is because he accidentally killed his master during a sparring session. ![[rofl2]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/035.gif "ROFL2 [rofl2]")
I think the best story came out the day I rode my new motorcycle in to work. A few friends and I were having a conversation about bikes when he jumped in. He started telling us about his bike, which of course was a ninja, and all the mods he had done to it. How it was so fast it was actually illegal in this country! lol So I had to ask, "How fast is it?"
He said he wasn't sure what the exact top speed was because they don't make a speedometer that goes high enough... Of course they don't how silly of me not to realize. He then went on to describe, "this one time", when he went under the fall river gov center overpass at full speed and made it from there to providence in... wait for it....... 12 sec.
I swear I could hear the eyes rolling in the room. By this time there are about 15 people listening to his shit. So I casually bust out the calculator on my side and do a little quick math. Then the fun started.
me- "Wow. Was it tough weaving through traffic traveling at over a mile per second?"
him- "No."
me- "What was it like breaking the sound barrier on a motorcycle?"
him "Huh?"
me- "Well you had to be traveling at 4500 MPH to go 15 miles in 12 seconds."
him- "well I must have been. Like I said I don't have a speedometer"
me, holding back hysterical laughter,- "How did you breath? At that speed if you took a breath the pressure would have destroyed your lungs."
him- "I held my breath. It was only 12 seconds..." I should have known
me- "You should have called guiness. The previous land speed record was around 700 MPH and it took several rocket engines to reach that speed."
him- stammer stammer...
me- "Hell you beat the old record by 6.5X. At that speed you were traveling at just under 6x the speed of sound. That is hypervelocity. That pretty much makes your motorcycle the fastest thing on the planet!
By that point everyone had erupted in hysterical laughter and he was taking a good hard look at whatever was on the top of his shoes...
Just because I'm a prick I didn't let up and started asking mod and physics questions.
"How long is your swing arm? What did you have to do aerodynamically to keep the pike from flipping. How do your carbs get air when you are essentially traveling in a vacuum? How do you hold on to the bars at those speeds? How did your tire not pop from the heat of compressing the air when traveling that fast? If you started breaking in providence, were you in CT by the time you came to a stop?
It was epic. After that I asked him every day when he was going to bring the bike in so we could go for a cruise at lunch. I never did get to se that bike... ![[sad]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/004.gif "Sad [sad]")
I think the best story came out the day I rode my new motorcycle in to work. A few friends and I were having a conversation about bikes when he jumped in. He started telling us about his bike, which of course was a ninja, and all the mods he had done to it. How it was so fast it was actually illegal in this country! lol So I had to ask, "How fast is it?"
He said he wasn't sure what the exact top speed was because they don't make a speedometer that goes high enough... Of course they don't how silly of me not to realize.
He then went on to describe, "this one time", when he went under the fall river gov center overpass at full speed and made it from there to providence in... wait for it....... 12 sec. I swear I could hear the eyes rolling in the room. By this time there are about 15 people listening to his shit. So I casually bust out the calculator on my side and do a little quick math. Then the fun started.
me- "Wow. Was it tough weaving through traffic traveling at over a mile per second?"
him- "No."
me- "What was it like breaking the sound barrier on a motorcycle?"
him "Huh?"
me- "Well you had to be traveling at 4500 MPH to go 15 miles in 12 seconds."
him- "well I must have been. Like I said I don't have a speedometer"
me, holding back hysterical laughter,- "How did you breath? At that speed if you took a breath the pressure would have destroyed your lungs."
him- "I held my breath. It was only 12 seconds..."
I should have knownme- "You should have called guiness. The previous land speed record was around 700 MPH and it took several rocket engines to reach that speed."
him- stammer stammer...
me- "Hell you beat the old record by 6.5X. At that speed you were traveling at just under 6x the speed of sound. That is hypervelocity. That pretty much makes your motorcycle the fastest thing on the planet!
By that point everyone had erupted in hysterical laughter and he was taking a good hard look at whatever was on the top of his shoes...
Just because I'm a prick I didn't let up and started asking mod and physics questions.
"How long is your swing arm? What did you have to do aerodynamically to keep the pike from flipping. How do your carbs get air when you are essentially traveling in a vacuum? How do you hold on to the bars at those speeds? How did your tire not pop from the heat of compressing the air when traveling that fast? If you started breaking in providence, were you in CT by the time you came to a stop?
It was epic. After that I asked him every day when he was going to bring the bike in so we could go for a cruise at lunch.
I never did get to se that bike... 
Wtf!?
Im pretty sure Javier left TI and came to my job...........Legendary.HAHAHA! I worked with one of them ~20 yrs ago at texas instruments. His name was Javier Cruz. I'll never forget him. He made up some of the best stories. If you gave him even the slightest bit of encouragement he would go on and on. He used to love telling people how he was a master in Dim Mak, AKA The Touch of Death. He said that the reason he left whatever 3rd world shithole he is from and came here is because he accidentally killed his master during a sparring session.
I think the best story came out the day I rode my new motorcycle in to work. A few friends and I were having a conversation about bikes when he jumped in. He started telling us about his bike, which of course was a ninja, and all the mods he had done to it. How it was so fast it was actually illegal in this country! lol So I had to ask, "How fast is it?"
He said he wasn't sure what the exact top speed was because they don't make a speedometer that goes high enough... Of course they don't how silly of me not to realize.
I swear I could hear the eyes rolling in the room. By this time there are about 15 people listening to his shit. So I casually bust out the calculator on my side and do a little quick math. Then the fun started.
me- "Wow. Was it tough weaving through traffic traveling at over a mile per second?"
him- "No."
me- "What was it like breaking the sound barrier on a motorcycle?"
him "Huh?"
me- "Well you had to be traveling at 4500 MPH to go 15 miles in 12 seconds."
him- "well I must have been. Like I said I don't have a speedometer"
me, holding back hysterical laughter,- "How did you breath? At that speed if you took a breath the pressure would have destroyed your lungs."
him- "I held my breath. It was only 12 seconds..."
me- "You should have called guiness. The previous land speed record was around 700 MPH and it took several rocket engines to reach that speed."
him- stammer stammer...
me- "Hell you beat the old record by 6.5X. At that speed you were traveling at just under 6x the speed of sound. That is hypervelocity. That pretty much makes your motorcycle the fastest thing on the planet!
By that point everyone had erupted in hysterical laughter and he was taking a good hard look at whatever was on the top of his shoes...
Just because I'm a prick I didn't let up and started asking mod and physics questions.
"How long is your swing arm? What did you have to do aerodynamically to keep the pike from flipping. How do your carbs get air when you are essentially traveling in a vacuum? How do you hold on to the bars at those speeds? How did your tire not pop from the heat of compressing the air when traveling that fast? If you started breaking in providence, were you in CT by the time you came to a stop?
It was epic. After that I asked him every day when he was going to bring the bike in so we could go for a cruise at lunch.
LOL For your sake I hope not. He is short and stocky and from either PR or DR I think. It was amazing the lengths he would go to one up someone. If you told him you caught a 30 lb striper while out on your friend's boat. He would tell you about the time he caught a marlin while fishing off the shore. Seriously.
You almost have to wonder if these people are so delusional that they actually believe the shit they say. You would think that, after a conversation like the one in my last post, he would have just never spoken to me again. Nope.
The next day it was like it never happened. Like he went home and just rewrote the entire encounter in his mind so that it all worked out for him. No small part of the reason I lit him up was because I was sick of hearing his shit 12 hrs a day. I figured it would get my point across and he would just go bother other people. It did not have the desired effect...
