Carrying and using the head

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A few (very few) serious answers to a legit question. Obviously, the suggestions about the handicapped stall and using underwear as a hammock were good ones, as was the one about removing the holster/gun as a unit. Most of the answers are dependent on how you are carrying. As Mas Ayoob would probably say, now you can see why Abe Vigoda (the old guy - Barney Miller?) wore a shoulder holster. For those who have to dump in (relatively) public places, that is the way to go. It is also easier on the back. Barring that, if you are right-handed, choosing a stall which puts a wall at your right may help, especially with a belt holster at your 0300. Since I usually wear the questionable/controversial shoot-me vest, I can often put my carry gun in an actual pocket.

The bottom line is that you must usually figure out the answer before you leave home, because it may involve choice of clothing or choice of firearm.

Good luck, and don't depend on remembering a gun or holster you took off. Do NOT put it on the tank. The reason folks put it in their pants is so that it cannot be forgotten.
 
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A few (very few) serious answers to a legit question. Obviously, the suggestions about the handicapped stall and using underwear as a hammock were good ones, as was the one about removing the holster/gun as a unit. Most of the answers are dependent on how you are carrying. As Mas Ayoob would probably say, now you can see why Abe Vigoda (the old guy - Barney Miller?) wore a shoulder holster. For those who have to dump in (relatively) public places, that is the way to go. It is also easier on the back. Barring that, if you are right-handed, choosing a stall which puts a wall at your right may help, especially with a belt holster at your 0300. Since I usually wear the questionable/controversial shoot-me vest, I can often put my carry gun in an actual pocket.

The bottom line is that you must usually figure out the answer before you leave home, because it may involve choice of clothing or choice of firearm.

Good luck, and don't depend on remembering a gun or holster you took off. Do NOT put it on the tank. The reason folks put it in their pants is so that it cannot be forgotten.
That's why I started using the "hammock": method. Forgot the gun a few times when I un-holstered it at home and put it next to me on the window sill. That was quite enough to prod me to "invent" the hammock method for myself.
 
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I cant belive that this topic captivated me enough ( or anyone else) to make it this far in the posts LOL ....

I stick my carry gun i my coat pocket, where i can reach it.
 

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It isn't stylish. It even looks bad on her.

But you might be onto something...

Instead of using the restroom, you can just take a dump in the fanny pack, floss your crack with the strap, and throw it into the dumpster. Two birds, meet one stone.
That has to be one of your best posts yet Jim! +3 for that one.
 

Len-2A Training

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Serious response:

The LESS you handle a loaded firearm, the better off we all are!

If you wear a PROPER gun belt/holster combo, the gun isn't going anywhere when you drop trou.

People don't usually look/crawl under stalls and if they do, a quick kick to the head might make them re-think their behavior . . . they'd be seeing stars, not holsters.

When I first started carrying, I was using those universal, cheap leather holsters ($12/15 gun show specials) and had a gun drop out and go skating across the bathroom floor (luckily I was the only one in the bathroom and yes, it was a business building). The holsters I use today can be removed from the belt, turned upside down and the gun isn't going to fall out . . . of course they cost anywhere from $50-100 each.

I suggest buying proper equipment (you usually will NOT find it in a gun shop, but have to order it custom online), keeping the belt-line just below your knees and re-buckling the belt will all contribute to a "no problem" situation if the need arises.
 
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Think of the last time there was someone in the stall next to you. How much time did you spend checking out the waistband of his pants around his ankles? If you are like most people, you don't spend a lot of time checking out the person next to you. I'm guessing that even if you had a small black holster hanging off your belt, most people wouldn't even realize it.
This was my first thought, but then I realized that (i) it only takes one whacko in the next stall to call the cops on the "guy in the bathroom with a gun" or (ii) you never know when you're next to a Republican Senator in the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport, in which case he's definitely looking!
 
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I can' t believe Underwhere hasn't plied his art form in here yet.

Ok let's get started. This will be a mix of proper bowel movement stance first, and then we'll get to the printing part.

First of all you need to ask yourself, what is my poop-stance?
I consider 4 major conventional seated types of stances.
For all of these you have the option of dropping trouser, or performing a movement with drouser retention (knee position)
1. Seated forward
2. Seated neutral
3. Seated relaxed.
4. The A.C. Slater



All of these positions will leave your bowels in somewhat of the same sort of position, (with the colon somewhat angular) which over time we have just accepted as standard. Times are changing!

If you look at this diagram here, it clearly shows that the colon exit (anus) has a clear and straight shot out of the body (turn the cat 90 degrees clockwise) when the legs are in the bent and extended upwards position.



This position is called the "power poop"
When the legs are squatted (similar to the diagram above) and the anus is pointed downwards towards the pool. The colon is properly aligned. Having a BM this way will ensure speed and accuracy. When combined with a belly-moan the contraction of your diaphragm will aid in the squeezing action of your anus. Think of this as a sort of "war cry"


There is an advanced version of the power poop and it is called the "B2 Bomber" It is a cleaner pinch because as the turd drops into the bowl you will not get any splash-up (backwash into the anus)




Now comes the analysis:
The matrix:
The likelyness of printing while performing the Power Poop and B2 are slim because both do not expose the trousers to under-stall onlookers. In fact they eliminate the likelyness of onlookers! The Power Poop does not leave you exposed at all as your legs are up on the toilet seat. The B2 Bomber will leave you exposed but most onlookers would clear out the bathroom when your legs go over the top of the stall.

The assumption is that you will not be performing a movement with trouser retention (very uncomfortable)



The visual risk assessment.



Disclaimer:
I am not a lawyer
 
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GaryO

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Just draw it and begin fiddling with it carelessly out of view from other bathroom guests but please try to avoid shooting the toilet or putting a round through the ceiling. Both have been done before and the outcomes were less than humorous.
Home Depot last year in NH comes to mind. Idiot drops his Glock and Kaboom a round exits through the roof. Poor employee washing his hands must have had a MI.
 
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Put it on the toilet paper dispenser if it has a sufficient sized shelf. Otherwise, I put my EDC in my pants or if wearing shorts, jerryrig it in your underwear. It'll still be plenty concealed from the sides.
 

EddieCoyle

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This really doesn't apply to me because I can hold a crap for at least 4 days.

Of course, when I finally do try to bomb after 4 days I'll need energy bars, an epidural, and a breathing coach, but I'll get it out.
 

Bob P

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I use an IWB that clips over the belt/waistband. I just take the whole thing off - gun in holster - and hold it while I bomb Tokyo.
 

MMF

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Man i guess the japanese haven't invested alot of time on the toilet research and development field. I figured they would have some kind of computerized toilet or something.
 
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