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Carrying and using the head

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Coastie2010, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. tele_mark

    tele_mark

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    I can' t believe Underwhere hasn't plied his art form in here yet.
     
  2. Recono

    Recono

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    A few (very few) serious answers to a legit question. Obviously, the suggestions about the handicapped stall and using underwear as a hammock were good ones, as was the one about removing the holster/gun as a unit. Most of the answers are dependent on how you are carrying. As Mas Ayoob would probably say, now you can see why Abe Vigoda (the old guy - Barney Miller?) wore a shoulder holster. For those who have to dump in (relatively) public places, that is the way to go. It is also easier on the back. Barring that, if you are right-handed, choosing a stall which puts a wall at your right may help, especially with a belt holster at your 0300. Since I usually wear the questionable/controversial shoot-me vest, I can often put my carry gun in an actual pocket.

    The bottom line is that you must usually figure out the answer before you leave home, because it may involve choice of clothing or choice of firearm.

    Good luck, and don't depend on remembering a gun or holster you took off. Do NOT put it on the tank. The reason folks put it in their pants is so that it cannot be forgotten.
     
  3. tele_mark

    tele_mark

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    That's why I started using the "hammock": method. Forgot the gun a few times when I un-holstered it at home and put it next to me on the window sill. That was quite enough to prod me to "invent" the hammock method for myself.
     
  4. kiver

    kiver

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    I usually wear Thunderwear so I have no problems when it comes to dropping a mag
     
  5. Mike-Mike

    Mike-Mike Instructor Dealer NES Member

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    I just keep my feet up on the stall door.
     
  6. FhvnLT4A

    FhvnLT4A

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    I cant belive that this topic captivated me enough ( or anyone else) to make it this far in the posts LOL ....

    I stick my carry gun i my coat pocket, where i can reach it.
     
  7. center442

    center442 NES Member

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    Considering the topic of this thread, Thunderwear could take on a whole new meaning....[laugh]
     
  8. ShootinFoodie

    ShootinFoodie

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    Now THAT is freakin awesome.
     
  9. Len-2A Training

    Len-2A Training Instructor Instructor NES Life Member NES Member

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    That has to be one of your best posts yet Jim! +3 for that one.
     
  10. Len-2A Training

    Len-2A Training Instructor Instructor NES Life Member NES Member

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    Serious response:

    The LESS you handle a loaded firearm, the better off we all are!

    If you wear a PROPER gun belt/holster combo, the gun isn't going anywhere when you drop trou.

    People don't usually look/crawl under stalls and if they do, a quick kick to the head might make them re-think their behavior . . . they'd be seeing stars, not holsters.

    When I first started carrying, I was using those universal, cheap leather holsters ($12/15 gun show specials) and had a gun drop out and go skating across the bathroom floor (luckily I was the only one in the bathroom and yes, it was a business building). The holsters I use today can be removed from the belt, turned upside down and the gun isn't going to fall out . . . of course they cost anywhere from $50-100 each.

    I suggest buying proper equipment (you usually will NOT find it in a gun shop, but have to order it custom online), keeping the belt-line just below your knees and re-buckling the belt will all contribute to a "no problem" situation if the need arises.
     
  11. toga

    toga

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    This was my first thought, but then I realized that (i) it only takes one whacko in the next stall to call the cops on the "guy in the bathroom with a gun" or (ii) you never know when you're next to a Republican Senator in the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport, in which case he's definitely looking!
     
  12. FiremanBob

    FiremanBob NES Member

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    Or Bawney Fwank at Logan.
     
  13. Underwhere

    Underwhere

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    Ok let's get started. This will be a mix of proper bowel movement stance first, and then we'll get to the printing part.

    First of all you need to ask yourself, what is my poop-stance?
    I consider 4 major conventional seated types of stances.
    For all of these you have the option of dropping trouser, or performing a movement with drouser retention (knee position)
    1. Seated forward
    2. Seated neutral
    3. Seated relaxed.
    4. The A.C. Slater
    [​IMG]


    All of these positions will leave your bowels in somewhat of the same sort of position, (with the colon somewhat angular) which over time we have just accepted as standard. Times are changing!

    If you look at this diagram here, it clearly shows that the colon exit (anus) has a clear and straight shot out of the body (turn the cat 90 degrees clockwise) when the legs are in the bent and extended upwards position.

    [​IMG]

    This position is called the "power poop"
    When the legs are squatted (similar to the diagram above) and the anus is pointed downwards towards the pool. The colon is properly aligned. Having a BM this way will ensure speed and accuracy. When combined with a belly-moan the contraction of your diaphragm will aid in the squeezing action of your anus. Think of this as a sort of "war cry"
    [​IMG]

    There is an advanced version of the power poop and it is called the "B2 Bomber" It is a cleaner pinch because as the turd drops into the bowl you will not get any splash-up (backwash into the anus)
    [​IMG]



    Now comes the analysis:
    The matrix:
    The likelyness of printing while performing the Power Poop and B2 are slim because both do not expose the trousers to under-stall onlookers. In fact they eliminate the likelyness of onlookers! The Power Poop does not leave you exposed at all as your legs are up on the toilet seat. The B2 Bomber will leave you exposed but most onlookers would clear out the bathroom when your legs go over the top of the stall.

    The assumption is that you will not be performing a movement with trouser retention (very uncomfortable)
    [​IMG]


    The visual risk assessment.
    [​IMG]


    Disclaimer:
    I am not a lawyer
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2009
    32 people like this.
  14. clinotus

    clinotus

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    EPIC.



    eta: I wish I could +4 you again, I'm still re-reading and laughing.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2009
  15. wolf223

    wolf223 Guest

    [rofl] holy crap! that is insane!
     
  16. theGringo

    theGringo

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    Wow. Bet they don't teach that at Front Sight!
     
  17. tele_mark

    tele_mark

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    That's our boy![smile]
     
  18. GaryO

    GaryO NES Member

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    Home Depot last year in NH comes to mind. Idiot drops his Glock and Kaboom a round exits through the roof. Poor employee washing his hands must have had a MI.
     
  19. Hanwei

    Hanwei NES Member

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    Holy crap. [laugh][laugh][laugh]
     
  20. drgrant

    drgrant Moderator NES Member

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  21. EddieCoyle

    EddieCoyle Consigliere Moderator NES Member

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    I fixed it for Hanwei:

    [​IMG]
     
    4 people like this.
  22. mikem317

    mikem317

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    Put it on the toilet paper dispenser if it has a sufficient sized shelf. Otherwise, I put my EDC in my pants or if wearing shorts, jerryrig it in your underwear. It'll still be plenty concealed from the sides.
     
  23. Underwhere

    Underwhere

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    Oooh. Very good!
     
  24. Metalstamper

    Metalstamper

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    Sorry, but I don't have a free hand during THAT excercise [smile]
     
  25. EddieCoyle

    EddieCoyle Consigliere Moderator NES Member

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    This really doesn't apply to me because I can hold a crap for at least 4 days.

    Of course, when I finally do try to bomb after 4 days I'll need energy bars, an epidural, and a breathing coach, but I'll get it out.
     
    1 person likes this.
  26. Bob P

    Bob P NES Member

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    I use an IWB that clips over the belt/waistband. I just take the whole thing off - gun in holster - and hold it while I bomb Tokyo.
     
  27. matt

    matt

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  28. wolf223

    wolf223 Guest





    [laugh]- i always get a kick out those. the word "toto" means vagina for some hispanics (east coast - NYC, MA, NJ, CT, RI)... so they are always joking about the japanese toto's on the spanish radio stations.
     
  29. MMF

    MMF

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    Man i guess the japanese haven't invested alot of time on the toilet research and development field. I figured they would have some kind of computerized toilet or something.
     
  30. Bob P

    Bob P NES Member

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    Oh but they have my friend, they have.

    http://www.totousa.com/Default.aspx?tabid=113
     

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