I am happy to report that I actually had several “dumbest thing you did in the service” episodes and will recount one of those for now.
My adventures as a “Tanker” in Germany took place from 1973 – 76. I know the Army culture has changed since I was in but probably not much. The Vietnam War was winding down but the Cold War was alive and well.
I and another crew member were tasked with moving our M60A1 M.B.T. to a training area about a mile away from the motor pool. (Our motor pool was right behind the barracks so the distances are close) The Track had to be on location no later then 0700 for training purposes. At 0600 hrs. we were fired up and headed out the back gate to our destination. We arrived several minutes later and were in the center of a large grassy hill surrounded by wood line. Now, both of us being 18 year olds, having control of a 52 ton Armored Fighting Vehicle and 30 minutes or so to kill I have to say our youthfulness took over, we were not clear headed and we decided to go play for a few minutes.
We entered the wood line on a small tight logging road. (Forest area in Germany is sacred ground so any damage done and you are dead meat. In theory anyway) we were maneuvering quite well until we came to a puddle in the road. A deep puddle. A very, very long deep puddle. If it were not in the woods on this logging road it would have been considered an “engineer built tank trap” mud hole. I told the driver to stop and we did.
Now I am looking at this from the top down from the TC’s hatch. It is plainly evident to me that we have a problem. The driver can’t see what I see so he does not see the problem. (The driver of a tank because of his angle has bad depth perception) We can’t back up because to do so is going to cause crazy damage. Trees knocked over, the road would be destroyed, etc. etc…. It’s not that the vehicle could not do it because it could (piece of cake so to speak) it’s just if we did we would go to jail.
Well forward we went. We immediately threw a track. The track was thrown to the inside against the hull and not outside off the sprocket. We were f%*&@*!!!! Panic did not set in though. Life as we new it still had 30 minutes to go. What to do?
I told my buddy I would be right back.
I will skip this part of the story but we snuck, yes that is right we snuck an 88 (Tracked Recovery Vehicle) out of the motor pool to our location. Actually you can’t sneak an M88 anywhere. At 64 tons the ground vibrates and the gas turbine engine causes the human skeletal frame to come apart at the joints and it belches flame when run hot!
Needless to say 0700 came and went. Along with the Co.C.O., the Bn. C.O., the Plt. Sgt who’s track it was, All the other Co. C.O.’s, lots of other people, the Plt, Leader with Top who proceeded to give us an ass chewing the likes of which you have never heard. I interjected and pointed out that as far as getting a tank stuck he had to admit that this was one of the better jobs. Top went out of his mind bezerk! It was around this time that depression started to set in.
Anyway two 88’s later, one pulling from the front and one lifting from the rear we were out. The suction was incredible. The track was cut off and back to the motor pool we went. With a platoon effort we constructed one whole track from spare track blocks from throughout the Battalion and this save our ass from an Article 15. I would never trade these memories for the world and I have many more. Sorry for being long winded.