Whats the dumbest thing you ever did when you were in the service?

Buck private straight from Fort Bennings School for Wayward Boys,deploying for some NATO exercises in Denmark from my first duty station at Garlstadt Germany..

The TC supposedly had navigation down to a science,so I trusted the SSG to navigate the frozen Denmark tundra in February..

Well,we were supposed to be rolling down the side of a river,he navigated right into it.The Bradley broke through the ice and we sunk.It is all kind of fuzzy from that point,but I figured the best way to get out was through the rear hatch,that was submerged.

Luckily,the TC stopped me before too much ice water got into the tank.

We ended up getting out through the TC's hatch and froze our asses off waiting for the engineers to pull our tank out.

I did a lot of stupid shit when I was on my drunken 2 year tour of Europe,but that's another yet to be created thread.[smile]
 
Reading the story from Camp Geiger reminded me of a couple while I was on active duty during Desert Storm at MCAS New River.

1. We had to go to Geiger for fuel because thats where DOL Farm was. SO we drove the P-19 Crash Truck ( fire truck on steroids) over there for some JP-8. While driving over, we were heckling the geiger tigers walking down the main drag to Subway. While fueling, we got a call that there was a C-130 on the ramp with a brake fire. We hotfooted it over from DOL to the airfield, across the mat to where VMO-1 used to be, and just as we were about to pull up dead last *(the other two P-19s and the P-10 Rescue with GYsgt were already there handling it) we got a call from the tower over the ground net. " Mcutcheon tower to Mcutcheon 22 ( our P-19). Tower, 22 send it. Um, yeah Mcutcheon 22, we have a visual on a large trail of smoke coming from your vehicle, can you see if your on fire?... we had set the parking brake at Geiger and were so wound up the driver never took it of, just powered through it all the however many miles it was to the airfield....suffice to say, once the fan was off the brakes of the C-130, we had to put it on our crash truck.

2. Same time of the year, same truck. While trying to douse a retiring officers aircraft for his send off... the operator of the vehicle set the pump before opening the discharge and blew the bumper turret right off the vehicle. It landed after striking the aircraft and bouncing to the ground.

3. Do SCBA work under water??? I dont know.. its hot, sunny sunday on the flight line and not much is going on. Lets take the tank cover off the P-19 and try it.... yup.. it works!! but before getting out of said tank, dispatched to chip warning light..... GYsgt again, on scene before us wanting to know what took us so long. No explanation necessary after I got out of my baked potatoe with soaking wet cammies ( as an aside to this, was ordered to walk back to wherever on the flight line my boots landed when they came off top of the truck ) in a hurry to get dressed in fire gear........ ya... and I still got promoted to Cpl.
 
I am happy to report that I actually had several “dumbest thing you did in the service” episodes and will recount one of those for now.

My adventures as a “Tanker” in Germany took place from 1973 – 76. I know the Army culture has changed since I was in but probably not much. The Vietnam War was winding down but the Cold War was alive and well.

I and another crew member were tasked with moving our M60A1 M.B.T. to a training area about a mile away from the motor pool. (Our motor pool was right behind the barracks so the distances are close) The Track had to be on location no later then 0700 for training purposes. At 0600 hrs. we were fired up and headed out the back gate to our destination. We arrived several minutes later and were in the center of a large grassy hill surrounded by wood line. Now, both of us being 18 year olds, having control of a 52 ton Armored Fighting Vehicle and 30 minutes or so to kill I have to say our youthfulness took over, we were not clear headed and we decided to go play for a few minutes.

We entered the wood line on a small tight logging road. (Forest area in Germany is sacred ground so any damage done and you are dead meat. In theory anyway) we were maneuvering quite well until we came to a puddle in the road. A deep puddle. A very, very long deep puddle. If it were not in the woods on this logging road it would have been considered an “engineer built tank trap” mud hole. I told the driver to stop and we did.

Now I am looking at this from the top down from the TC’s hatch. It is plainly evident to me that we have a problem. The driver can’t see what I see so he does not see the problem. (The driver of a tank because of his angle has bad depth perception) We can’t back up because to do so is going to cause crazy damage. Trees knocked over, the road would be destroyed, etc. etc…. It’s not that the vehicle could not do it because it could (piece of cake so to speak) it’s just if we did we would go to jail.

Well forward we went. We immediately threw a track. The track was thrown to the inside against the hull and not outside off the sprocket. We were f%*&@*!!!! Panic did not set in though. Life as we new it still had 30 minutes to go. What to do?
I told my buddy I would be right back.

I will skip this part of the story but we snuck, yes that is right we snuck an 88 (Tracked Recovery Vehicle) out of the motor pool to our location. Actually you can’t sneak an M88 anywhere. At 64 tons the ground vibrates and the gas turbine engine causes the human skeletal frame to come apart at the joints and it belches flame when run hot!

Needless to say 0700 came and went. Along with the Co.C.O., the Bn. C.O., the Plt. Sgt who’s track it was, All the other Co. C.O.’s, lots of other people, the Plt, Leader with Top who proceeded to give us an ass chewing the likes of which you have never heard. I interjected and pointed out that as far as getting a tank stuck he had to admit that this was one of the better jobs. Top went out of his mind bezerk! It was around this time that depression started to set in.

Anyway two 88’s later, one pulling from the front and one lifting from the rear we were out. The suction was incredible. The track was cut off and back to the motor pool we went. With a platoon effort we constructed one whole track from spare track blocks from throughout the Battalion and this save our ass from an Article 15. I would never trade these memories for the world and I have many more. Sorry for being long winded.
[rofl]
 
Speaking of tanks and damage, we (3-7 Cav) participated in a two week field maneuver exercise in 84. At the end of the exercise, we were marshaled in a field before heading back to the border station. I was a Plt Ldr of one of the platoons, which was 3 M113's, two ITV's, and four M60A3's.

There was an old car in the field, and a few German civilians. One of the tank drivers came up and asked me if they could drive over the car. A teenage German spoke English and he endorsed this idea enthusiastically. I explained that the German owner would not be appreciative, at which point the older German spoke up (in German, which I spoke fairly well) and said that he was the owner, that the car was junk and going to the junk yard the following week, and that he was also the owner of the field.

Well, I thought about this for afew minutes, then decided "What the hell!" and gave the order. I stood back from the car to take a picture of the tank as it crushed the car.

At the exact moment that the tank drove over the car, the 1SGT and Troop Commander pulled up from the other edge of the field in jeeps. The Troop Commander told me later "I saw my career flashing before my eyes." They did not know that the cars were devoid of humans and that we had permission. Very fortunately for me, the German stuck around, and since I was the only one present, had to translate between him and the Troop Commander as he voiced how we had done a "public service" by flattening his car for him.

If I'd been in an Armor unit, I probably would have been relieved on the spot. But any of you who have had anything to do with Cavalry units know that unabashed boldness is still valued. So while the Cdr considered it inconvenient, he had to admit that it was a decent operation and I got off scot free.

I got a great picture of the tank, with the windshield glass spraying out, a giant grin on the driver's face, and the ID of the tank perfectly clear. And gave a copy to the Squadron Commander at my Farewell. He contacted my by email a few years ago and still has the pic in his study, although when I gave it to him the color drained from his face.
 
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garandman said:
If I'd been in an Armor unit, I probably would have been relieved on the spot. But any of you who have had anything to do with Cavalry units know that unabashed boldness is still valued.
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Ain't that the truth! I was with 1/11 ACR, and having to beg forgiveness was a badge of honor, while asking permission was considered a sign of weakness.
 
MrsWildweasel said:
SO you're the reason for the AFN commercials of not getting in the middle of a convoy with tanks.
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It's no joke, actually. Although Armor units often have fund raisers involving crushing cars.

The M60's did not have the side skirts. Impatient Germans would occasionally try to pass tanks, catch one of the end connectors, and it would pull the car under the treads with gruesome results. The M1 is a little better but they're all wide and don't have rear-view mirrors...... When I was at Fort Knox a semi-truck hit a tank and just about ripped it apart. Driver was medevaed to Louisville. Tank had a bent fender, fixed with a hammer.

Here's the initial safety briefing when you start training on Armor. "Gentlemen, the tank is designed to do one thing - to kill. And it does not care who it kills."
 
garandman said:
It's no joke, actually. Although Armor units often have fund raisers involving crushing cars.

The M60's did not have the side skirts. Impatient Germans would occasionally try to pass tanks, catch one of the end connectors, and it would pull the car under the treads with gruesome results. The M1 is a little better but they're all wide and don't have rear-view mirrors...... When I was at Fort Knox a semi-truck hit a tank and just about ripped it apart. Driver was medevaed to Louisville. Tank had a bent fender, fixed with a hammer.

Here's the initial safety briefing when you start training on Armor. "Gentlemen, the tank is designed to do one thing - to kill. And it does not care who it kills."
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Oh, I know. When hubby and I were stationed in Berlin our apartment wasn't too far from the tank ranges, and watching the krauts get in the way was amusing.
 
TheWookie said:
Reminds me of what my 1st platoon Sgt. often said: "It is better to make A decision, than NO decision"
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From the history books:

“A good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later.”
General George S. Patton.

And then what can happen:

"When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout."
 
MrsWildweasel said:
SO you're the reason for the AFN commercials of not getting in the middle of a convoy with tanks.[rofl][laugh2]
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Wow, I wish they had that commercial playing for people living in Kosovo.

A brief M113A3 story on the roads of Kosovo..

We used to do a lot of road repair, so often times we would leave the base in a small convoy (3-4 vehicles usually) to go to a local sight to fix something up. Now, the Albanians have no concept of driving in traffic like "normal" people do. They will pass you on blind corners, and cut you off for instance. What I find really weird about all of this is they would not generally do it if you were in a HMMWV, but they would do it if you were in any other vehicle, such as a M113.

Anywho, I was in the rear of the convoy in the track, with my ipod earbuds under my CVC ( real professional I know [rofl]), going for a nice drive down the street. For some reason, my commander was obsessed with putting police lights on all of the vehicles, so even my poor M113 had an blue light, which was on, but this guy didnt seem to mind passing us anyway. So this friggen guy in a VW golf is hell bent on passing me, but the only spot he would be able to fit into would be between me and the trailer in front of me with a front end loader that must of weighed at least 60,000lbs total. The idea of a 24,000 M113 squishing some local into an 60,000lbs trailer was not great so i told the TC to wave him away. The TC frantically waved him away but the guy would not get off our ass for the overtake. So I started to drive in the middle of the road (much to the aggravation of oncoming traffic, im sure [rofl]). I'm going about 40-45 mph, which is the fastest i can realistically get it to, and of course the Volkswagen is faster. The guy squeezes in on whats left of the wrong side of the road next to me, so I start to move over even more into the wrong lane. TC still trying to wave him off, I take the entire left lane over now driving on the wrong side of the road, with the local in his VW driving off the road in the grass next to me. I looked over at the guy as he was passing me, and its him and his family, he looks totally calm like nothings wrong as he drives 45 mph on grass with his car bumping all over the place. After that he immediately cut me off and then I had to be super careful about not crushing him.

If it wasnt so funny about how casual the guy was with driving off the road I would of been pissed! [rofl]
 
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Between jumping out of the moving Blackhawk at night about 1 second before I was supposed to (wtf, I couldn't see the ground!), taking the time to grab the M240B off the mounts when pulling myself and the machine gun into the hummvee's air-guard hole as we flipped over, I'd have to pick something else...

After having returned from deployment, the bus ride from Rammstein AFB to Vilseck was long enough to warrant a pit-stop on the autobahn. I decided to go into the store to buy some cigarettes and an Afri-Cola. I couldn't understand why the people in the store were looking at me so strange until I casually swapped the M-16 from one hand to the other to grab my wallet. I'll never forget that clerk's face.
 
JuergenG said:
Fulda ? I've been with the German Bde abreast with you guys.
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Yep, it was a lot of fun there in the '80s!

We had a few traffic incidents, none of them too serious. JuergenG can probably confirm this: Germans are genetically programmed to rage at waiting in line, whether at a traffic light or in the grocery store (if the person in front of you can't feel your breath on the back of their neck, others will assume you're not really in line and will squeeze right on in). In stopped traffic, that means six inches between bumpers is bordering on too much room. That's fine behind a normal vehicle, but with an M1 tank blowing jet engine exhaust on your hood, you might want to re-think "safe distance".

We called it the "Abrams paint peeler" for a good reason.

We were doing some local countryside maneuvers at night, when a young platoon leader (not me!) found himself in a nice open clearing. He set the platoon up in a laager, and they got in some driving practice (donut right, donut left, etc.). Then the sun came up, and he saw they were in a tree nursery. Yeowch!

Tracked vehicles don't work worth a flip on ice, either. After an ice storm, an M1 was skidding down a hill, with the driver desperately trying to steer, reverse, anything. Nope: it's a 70 ton bobsled, just hang on and enjoy the ride. They were heading straight for a church at the bottom of the hill. The TC quickly traversed the gun, and the driver was about to burn to tracks off in full reverse, but they slowed down and just barely bumped the wall of the church. Everyone breathed a big sigh of relief, until an enraged priest charged out waving his arms and pointing and shouting.

Turns out it doesn't take much of a "bump" from a tank to make an 800 year old fresco painting spall off into a billion pieces.

The single most expensive piece of maneuver damage was when the squadron commander told his driver to "go for it" and beat the railroad crossing arm as it was coming down. In a car, they'd have made it, but a Bradley is pretty tall, and they ripped it right off. Total bill for that one was about $300,000.
 
KBCraig said:
//
Tracked vehicles don't work worth a flip on ice, either. After an ice storm, an M1 was skidding down a hill, with the driver desperately trying to steer, reverse, anything. Nope: it's a 70 ton bobsled, just hang on and enjoy the ride. They were heading straight for a church at the bottom of the hill. The TC quickly traversed the gun, and the driver was about to burn to tracks off in full reverse, but they slowed down and just barely bumped the wall of the church. Everyone breathed a big sigh of relief, until an enraged priest charged out waving his arms and pointing and shouting.

Turns out it doesn't take much of a "bump" from a tank to make an 800 year old fresco painting spall off into a billion pieces.
//
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First time I've ever heard the term spalling in relation to artwork!

Technically the Army has special tracks for ice. These are put on every 5th pad. I never, ever saw a tank with them.
Steel__Rubber.jpg
 
This isn't the dumbest thing I ever did, but we when we were at Mountain Warfare Training Center one of the 53 pilots was apparently dicking around and lost control of one of the 53s with a couple of my buddies in it. He started loosing altitude too fast over the LZ (see: Side of mountain) and had to drop the fuel tanks. By the time we left the clean up cost was at $1 million plus. The Marine Corps basically has permission to use the preserve for MWTC, but anything they break, they have to fix. They had to dig down a good distance to recover that jet fuel. Apparently a unit before us decided to turn their humvees around in some sage brush which ended up costing them 10s of thousands of dollars in fines.

Mike
 
Navy Moose said:
For those of us who do not speak Army, what is the difference between an armor unit and cavalry unit?
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Armor is, well, heavily armored. Cavalry has heavy firepower, but is primarily light, fast, and agile. Armor's mission is to fight other vehicles and gain territory. Cavalry's mission is to reconnoiter, scout routes, gather intel, and to strike fast and hard and run away.

In the '80s when we were focused on the Soviet bloc, there were three Armored Cavalry Regiments (2nd, 3rd, and 11th), all outfitted the same way: three ground squadrons, one helicopter squadron, and one combat support squadron (maintenance and supply). The ground squadrons consisted of three cavalry troops, one tank company, and one howitzer battery. Each cav troop was three scout platoons (six M3 Bradleys) and one tank platoon (four M1 Abrams), plus one mortar section (two mortars mounted in tracked vehicles). The tank company was four tank platoons. The howitzer battery had six M109 self-propelled 155mm howitzers and all the supporting gear, plus three M981 FIST-Vs (FIre Support Team Vehicle). One FIST-V went with each cav troop, and one went with the squadron commander.

It was a huge collection of autonomous firepower. Except for engineers, everything needed for combat was organic instead of attached. No need to wait for fire support and maneuver elements to coordinate: everything was already right there.

The only thing that could have made it better was if the Aviation squadron had some A10s, instead of just Cobras and Kiowas.
 
Okay, one more dumb thing... Some of our missions in Nam were flown in U21's (twin turbo-prop Beechcraft), with me (dittybopper) and a linguist in the back end. During dull moments, the pilots would sometimes pull a zero-G's so we could watch the pencils and mills (typewriters) float in mid-air. During one trip, our linguist unbuckled and went back to the "pee tube" at the back of the cabin. Not wanting to pass up an opportunity for some fun, I jumped on the intercom to the pilots and suggested a zero-G. It was a great show. The screams from the untethered linguist could be heard, even with headphones on. The clean-up, once we landed, was not so much fun.
 
KBCraig said:
Armor is, well, heavily armored. Cavalry has heavy firepower, but is primarily light, fast, and agile. Armor's mission is to fight other vehicles and gain territory. Cavalry's mission is to reconnoiter, scout routes, gather intel, and to strike fast and hard and run away.

In the '80s when we were focused on the Soviet bloc, there were three Armored Cavalry Regiments (2nd, 3rd, and 11th), all outfitted the same way: three ground squadrons, one helicopter squadron, and one combat support squadron (maintenance and supply). The ground squadrons consisted of three cavalry troops, one tank company, and one howitzer battery. Each cav troop was three scout platoons (six M3 Bradleys) and one tank platoon (four M1 Abrams), plus one mortar section (two mortars mounted in tracked vehicles). The tank company was four tank platoons. The howitzer battery had six M109 self-propelled 155mm howitzers and all the supporting gear, plus three M981 FIST-Vs (FIre Support Team Vehicle). One FIST-V went with each cav troop, and one went with the squadron commander.

It was a huge collection of autonomous firepower. Except for engineers, everything needed for combat was organic instead of attached. No need to wait for fire support and maneuver elements to coordinate: everything was already right there.

The only thing that could have made it better was if the Aviation squadron had some A10s, instead of just Cobras and Kiowas.
Click to expand...

Thank you for a well thought out and informative answer [grin]
 

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