Bro, are you new to NES?
You get as many personal loans as possible, you take all the money out, buy gold and hide it.
You then sell the house, take the money and hide it. Declare bankruptcy. She gets nothing.
I learned that in the Economic Doom thread and every divorce thread on NES. it's on the internet, it must be good advice.
Joking aside ...
I read almost the entire thread, I like the idea of multiple small safes. I know it might not work for the OP due to his wife controlling him (JK), but that is what I was planning to do for several reasons, easy to move, easier to organize, I dont need to have everything in one safe... I understand their fire rating might bot be great, and their steel might not be the thickest, but this is the way I think about it ... if someone breaks into your house with an angle grinder, they already know what you have and any safe can be opened, I dont have any crazy expensive one of a kind guns, insurance can cover the cost. Also, Install a wifi camera in the room.