Answers to your questions so a REAL answer can be given:
1) I am a female
2) the original poster of this thread
3) and I do not have a wife.
Kaisha:
I would strongly recommend you not purchase your first gun before you have a chance to shoot one of the same/similar model. It makes a really big difference. Some guns feel ok in the store but the new shooter gets them out on the range and they are unhappy and now have a gun they need to sell.
My wife and I shoot together regularly. She has small hands and short arms which means for handguns a lot of them just don't fit her hand all that well. She can shoot them, but she doesn't enjoy them.
She has a Ruger Security Six, which is a terrific .38/357 with a 6-inch barrel and can be had in good condition for well under $400.. It is by far her favorite gun. She also has a SIG P220 which she likes a lot.
She found the S&W 686 too large for her hands.
For rifles/shotguns, her length of pull (the measurement, in inches, between the curve of the trigger and the edge of the butt stock) is a lot shorter than the average man's, which makes a lot of rifles very difficult for her to shoot comfortably.
For the small bore, the Ruger 10/22 fits her very well. She also enjoys our Ruger mini-14 in 5.56 NATO/.223 Remington. Many rifles can have new buttstocks equipped for not too much money and "junior" versions are also available with smaller than "normal" LOPs.
Hope this all helps, but above all, DO NOT let anyone else buy you a gun unless you've requested that particular gun.
My wife and I will be shooting tomorrow at Harvard Sportsmen's Club and we can bring a little of everything for you to try. Shoot me a PM if you're interested.
As for "girly," you can accessorize/decorate ANY gun. The only limit is your imagination and the size of your wallet.