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Minors flying solo. Any experience?
- Thread starter Nick Leduc
- Start date
AHM
NES Member
If that had happened to me (not that I traveled solo as a yout)...
Even if the airline gave me a voucher for a room and meal
in a hotel connected to the terminal by a walkway
I can totally imagine Naive Me
being so scared to ask how to work the voucher
that I might manage stay in the hotel overnight,
but would probably not venture out of the room for meals
in the hotel restaurant.
So no disrespect towards any parent that says Nope to a kid's solo travel.
You can kvetch about snowflakes and maturity and all that.
But for every kid, there's an age below which they just can't cope with contingencies.
Heck, one day an Asian colleague took off work early.
His only son was walking home from school for the very first time.
(In a Rather Rich suburb;
suburb not exurb - so it was house-lined streets -
not a ghetto, and not McMansion-dotted farmland).
He shadowed his son on the walk home,
without his son knowing it; to see how it went.
On the other hand, back when The Bride was on 1/3rd international
travel to the Pacific Rim, she saw a hilarious show on Japanese TV.
Every week they'd get some mother to give her 5-yo an errand.
"I'm in the middle of making dinner, and I ran out of soy sauce.
Run down to the corner store and get me a bottle.
Here's a 500 yen note".
More than enough money to buy the stuff,
and enough money to get into Five Year Old Trouble.
The kid was always like, "who you talkin' to?".
And the parent was always like, "time for you to step up around here".
A real sink-or-swim thing.
And they'd always make sure that the route from
the apartment to the spa went past a candy store
or a toy store or some other attractive nuisance.
So the Candid Camera team films the kid walking past
the candy or toys...and slows down...and goes inside...
Hilarity always ensues.
Probably included creative fabrications of
how come the store was out of soy sauce,
but the 500 yen note evaporated,
and the kid has chocolate on their breath.
ETA: “Hajimete no Otsukai” (My First Errand)
Lord, they've used 2/3-yo's...
![[rofl]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/013.gif "ROFL [rofl]")
American is just ripping you off on the fee. SW isn't going just abandon the kid.
Tell her to ask a flight attendant how to find her next gate when she gets off the first flight, or the gate agent.
I can see being concerned about doing this with a 5 year old, but 14? come on man (<- read in Joe Biden voice)
It all comes down to the kid's maturity level in reality. if she's too shy to ask for help or whatever then maybe it could be a concern but I wouldn't worry too much, assuming she's bright enough to only engage uniformed airline employees for assistance and not the moustachioed guy holding the "free candy" sign.
Why? It is simple. Walk off plane, read a board, go to next gate.
I flew solo back and forth across the country in the 80's and 90's with no issue.
MisterHappy
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Honestly didn't read the entire thread.
When it's your kid, and your gut tells you "no"....listen to your gut.
That uneasy feeling is there for a reason.
When it's your kid, and your gut tells you "no"....listen to your gut.
That uneasy feeling is there for a reason.
this....cuz BALTIMORE lol....it's inside an airport for the love of dog. It's not like she has to walk thru the hood. BWI isn't a huge airport and overly complicated airport.
Mtn_Guy
NES Member
I think a key element to your question is: has your daughter ever flown before with you/someone else and had seen how to navigate an airport? That’s an important part to the equation.
I didn’t fly myself until I was in my early 20s for work and I remember feeling a bit anxious about navigating an airport myself for the first time. But after dozens and dozens of trips it’s now routine. I took my kiddo at age 7 on a plane for his first time. The connection was tight and we sprinted through the airport to the gate only to find we missed our connection. I recall distinctly he was like, “what the heck!?!” He was actually more pissed-off than I was, LOL but I took it as an opportunity to demonstrate how to be adaptable to dynamic situations and not lose your cool.
When we finally caught our connection, the plane was half full and he decided he wanted to sit in his own row. The flight attendants treated him like he was his own passenger am he never needed me for anything. He is still a bit younger than your daughter, so I’d be reluctant at his age currently, but I wouldn’t hesitate to let him travel alone in a few more years.
It’s a tough decision, but what ever you choose will be the correct call... safe travels.
I didn’t fly myself until I was in my early 20s for work and I remember feeling a bit anxious about navigating an airport myself for the first time. But after dozens and dozens of trips it’s now routine. I took my kiddo at age 7 on a plane for his first time. The connection was tight and we sprinted through the airport to the gate only to find we missed our connection. I recall distinctly he was like, “what the heck!?!” He was actually more pissed-off than I was, LOL but I took it as an opportunity to demonstrate how to be adaptable to dynamic situations and not lose your cool.
When we finally caught our connection, the plane was half full and he decided he wanted to sit in his own row. The flight attendants treated him like he was his own passenger am he never needed me for anything. He is still a bit younger than your daughter, so I’d be reluctant at his age currently, but I wouldn’t hesitate to let him travel alone in a few more years.
It’s a tough decision, but what ever you choose will be the correct call... safe travels.
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Will the kid keep her shit together if something happens like a missed flight or a cancelled connection? If the kid will panic, it's one thing. It's quite another if the kid will react with "cool, an adventure, this is going to be interesting". There is the worst case of a cancelled flight and having to get in a hotel. Go over contingencies and be ready to provide assistance with things like hotel bookings, replacement flight reservations, etc.
And don't think you can avoid risk with direct flights. What if the return flight is cancelled and the replacement flight leaving an hour later has a stopover and the choice is that or the kid finds a hotel and holes up until a direct is available the next day?
There is also a choice I faced a couple of times - weather look bad; flights likely to be cancelled. Do I stay an extra day and switch to a flight that has a much lower cancellation risk now, or take a chance my original flight will leave as scheduled?
Make sure you have a geotracking app on the kids phone that works with one on yours so you can see where she is any time she is no in the air.
Find out if that $150 fee is mandatory or just an option if you want the kid handled like a registered mail package in transport.
And to reiterate, money=choices and power. No money, no choices, no power. The kid needs a cellphone and a credit card to travel.
And don't think you can avoid risk with direct flights. What if the return flight is cancelled and the replacement flight leaving an hour later has a stopover and the choice is that or the kid finds a hotel and holes up until a direct is available the next day?
There is also a choice I faced a couple of times - weather look bad; flights likely to be cancelled. Do I stay an extra day and switch to a flight that has a much lower cancellation risk now, or take a chance my original flight will leave as scheduled?
Make sure you have a geotracking app on the kids phone that works with one on yours so you can see where she is any time she is no in the air.
Find out if that $150 fee is mandatory or just an option if you want the kid handled like a registered mail package in transport.
And to reiterate, money=choices and power. No money, no choices, no power. The kid needs a cellphone and a credit card to travel.
I flew hundreds of times and there are some airports where it is not that simple and I have to pay a lot of attention to make sure I don't get on the wrong shuttle. I have even walked 15min to one end of the airport only to find out the flight was changed to the other end. One time I walked out of an airport without knowing and had to go through TSA again. I had to walk all of Miami airport when the shuttle wasn't working (took me 20-30min walking fast) because American landed on one end and LATAM was taking off on the opposite end.
I was once in Brazil, my wife was flying to meet me there. She was lost in the Newark airport. LOL. She called me, I opened a map of the airport and guided her based on what gate number she saw. And it wasn't her first time flying.
And then there is the issue of flying on a late flight and your connection is the last flight out. You miss the connection and now what?
From what the OP says, I wouldn't be surprised if the father was so cheap that he got the last flight out. Rather than buying an early flight to give her options if something happened.
There arent creeps offering free candy, so that wouldnt be a worry.
Thanks for all the replies. I think it is all based on knowing my step daughter and knowing she doesn't do well when given an opportunity to show maturity. 2 months ago, she was at the mall and wanted to go to another store outside of the mall. She called us, asked permission and asked where it was (we are in a new area and we don't know where anything is).
I get on the Google maps and see that it is right next to the mall. I tell her to walk outside, look left, cross parking lot and she is there...... 25 minutes later my wife had to drive there to pick her up and bring her,, because she couldn't find it. This was after me screenshotting maps, and drawing arrows where to go lol.
But her finding the next gate isn't our issue. Its the what if her next flight is canceled or missed. Her being stuck somewhere is where she will not do well.
Last year, I was flying to Vegas. Stop over in TX. For whatever reason, my flight out of CT was delayed 4 hours. Missed connecting flight. The airline then tried offering me a choice to fly to Chicago to get me to Vegas but a possible snow storm could delay me, or fly to CA with a longer layover, but no storm to delay me. Thats the BS we are trying to avoid.
If this guy wasn't such a terrible father, we wwouldn't mind cover the entire trip. The fact that my step daughter doesn't care if she goes or not is another reason we don't cover the whole trip. The fact she is saying she doesn't want to do a layover makes me feel a little better about our decision to say no to him.
I offered to drive to Atlanta, and let her fly into NYC, if he was willing to drive there (thats the closest we could get to him on a direct flight) and he said no, "isn't worth it".
We will see what today brings.
I get on the Google maps and see that it is right next to the mall. I tell her to walk outside, look left, cross parking lot and she is there...... 25 minutes later my wife had to drive there to pick her up and bring her,, because she couldn't find it. This was after me screenshotting maps, and drawing arrows where to go lol.
But her finding the next gate isn't our issue. Its the what if her next flight is canceled or missed. Her being stuck somewhere is where she will not do well.
Last year, I was flying to Vegas. Stop over in TX. For whatever reason, my flight out of CT was delayed 4 hours. Missed connecting flight. The airline then tried offering me a choice to fly to Chicago to get me to Vegas but a possible snow storm could delay me, or fly to CA with a longer layover, but no storm to delay me. Thats the BS we are trying to avoid.
If this guy wasn't such a terrible father, we wwouldn't mind cover the entire trip. The fact that my step daughter doesn't care if she goes or not is another reason we don't cover the whole trip. The fact she is saying she doesn't want to do a layover makes me feel a little better about our decision to say no to him.
I offered to drive to Atlanta, and let her fly into NYC, if he was willing to drive there (thats the closest we could get to him on a direct flight) and he said no, "isn't worth it".
We will see what today brings.
As a kid I flew both solo and with my sister to Chicago and LA several times, it was a different world back them 40+ years ago. Even then the airline had someone keep an eye on us, extra check on the plane, walk us to any plane changes, and make sure the right person picked us up. No extra charge back them.
Fast forward to when my kids went out to LA, I flew with them. No F'ing way any of my were going on a plane alone, or be changing planes alone. I trusted my kids, I knew they could handle it. It's everyone else I don't trust. If it was my daughter at 14 I'd want an armed escort.
And put the kids safety first. If the father won't pay for it, pay for it yourself. Better if you book yourself a round trip and fly with her, but an identified escort is still good. If you can't afford it PM me, this is about a kids safety. I've spent $150 on a lot less important things.
BTW Just to give you an Idea how bad Baltimore is, I picked up a rental car at the airport there abou 25 years back, dam thing had a bullet hole in it.
Fast forward to when my kids went out to LA, I flew with them. No F'ing way any of my were going on a plane alone, or be changing planes alone. I trusted my kids, I knew they could handle it. It's everyone else I don't trust. If it was my daughter at 14 I'd want an armed escort.
And put the kids safety first. If the father won't pay for it, pay for it yourself. Better if you book yourself a round trip and fly with her, but an identified escort is still good. If you can't afford it PM me, this is about a kids safety. I've spent $150 on a lot less important things.
BTW Just to give you an Idea how bad Baltimore is, I picked up a rental car at the airport there abou 25 years back, dam thing had a bullet hole in it.
Bottom line is, trust your gut feeling, keep your stepdaughter safe, and keep yourself sane, everything else is secondary.
It sounds like "dad" is a pos, with little interest in his daughter, or her well being.
F**k him.
I say, do it your way, or not at all, if and when, you and s.d. are "ready".
Best wishes.
JayMcB
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I've had free range kids since they were small, they flew as unaccompanied minors (direct) at barely 7 and 11 years old to visit their grandmother in FL. They were almost too independent as kids, but I believed it was going to help them become functioning adults, and it's working out that way so far.
My kids have flown a lot with us, and from age 10, one of them was designated as flight leader....they had to collect ID's, collect boarding passes, and keep track of luggage, etc. Practicing adulting with backup helps build self-confidence, it's something we picked up from their early Montessori pre-school.
Inside the terminal, everyone has a ticket, or is an employee. But 737's break, air crews time out, and weather happens. There's *no way* I would leave a 14 year old in a position to have to leave the BWI terminal in a random taxi and try to check into a hotel in Baltimore with a voucher....and no ID. No. Effing. Way.
Rebook, or drive to BWI and pick her up.
My kids have flown a lot with us, and from age 10, one of them was designated as flight leader....they had to collect ID's, collect boarding passes, and keep track of luggage, etc. Practicing adulting with backup helps build self-confidence, it's something we picked up from their early Montessori pre-school.
Inside the terminal, everyone has a ticket, or is an employee. But 737's break, air crews time out, and weather happens. There's *no way* I would leave a 14 year old in a position to have to leave the BWI terminal in a random taxi and try to check into a hotel in Baltimore with a voucher....and no ID. No. Effing. Way.
Rebook, or drive to BWI and pick her up.
HarryPottar
NES Member
It really does come down to the child, out of my 3 I have two that would have trekked through Europe at 14 had we let them, they are pretty street smart. My youngest, 22 now, I worry about going to the corner store incase he gets lost. Our own fault being the youngest my wife had him hanging off the apron strings to long.
I have all boys, with girls and the society we live in today, I would worry. I would insist on a direct flight personally.
Then again if I had a girl I would be in the middle on her wedding night telling her husband, don’t you even think about it...
I have all boys, with girls and the society we live in today, I would worry. I would insist on a direct flight personally.
Then again if I had a girl I would be in the middle on her wedding night telling her husband, don’t you even think about it...
rep308
NES Member
As a former frequent flyer I've seen this situation go bad with flight delays, cancellations and derelict flight attendants. If the child is responsible, has a phone and a couple of $100 in cash it should go well, but develop a plan B.
Wickedcoolname
NES Member
My kid flew solo from Mass to Florida several times when he was 12 to 15. Never had an issue. And that was before everyone had a cell phone grafted to their hand.
When I was the same age I used to take a bus from New Haven to Boston to hang out with my cousin. Kids are tougher than you think if you allow them to be.
When I was the same age I used to take a bus from New Haven to Boston to hang out with my cousin. Kids are tougher than you think if you allow them to be.
No f***ing way would I let my kid, especially a girl, change planes in Baltimore at 14yrs old. That city is a shit hole known for human trafficking, that airport is one of the worst I've ever been through as far as lazy workers and customer service go, and times are crazy right now. I'd tell the dad piss off and cough up the money for a direct flight or I'd take a cheap flight down and drive or fly back with her. I'd probably actually just hop in my truck and go get her if it was my kid, You can make that drive in a little over 24hrs if you really had to, nobody would need to know you've been out of state or anything.
Friend of ours took his 11 YO home-schooling daughter to a conference in Moscow. One day they were getting ready to board the subway. The kid rushed in, Dad got left behind in the crowd and watched her depart. She was smart enough to get out at the next stop, where he found her after more than a few anxious moments. As others have said, it all depends on the kid and his/her ability to adapt and come up with Plan B under pressure.
My comment was specific to the Southwest Terminals at BWI. It really is simple.
Would do it when I was around that age to Florida to visit my grandparents when it was a non stop flight....back when they used to let anyone into the gates mind you and my grandparents would be right where the exit gate was
with a mature enough 14 year old that’s a flying veteran, non stop shouldn’t be an issue, but they still have to get through baggage claim on their own (if they check a bag) and then outside mind you...does the 150 fee cover someone walking them outside? If so that’s worth it.
I’m 37 and would happily pay $150 for a flight attendant to get me to my Uber after a lengthy flight in first class (read...cocktails)
with a mature enough 14 year old that’s a flying veteran, non stop shouldn’t be an issue, but they still have to get through baggage claim on their own (if they check a bag) and then outside mind you...does the 150 fee cover someone walking them outside? If so that’s worth it.
I’m 37 and would happily pay $150 for a flight attendant to get me to my Uber after a lengthy flight in first class (read...cocktails)
FrugalFannie
NES Member
Baltimore is a tiny airport and in my experience SWA has great customer service. Dad can likely accompany the minor to the gate and speak with a SWA employee to have her escorted from gate to gate in Baltimore. Kind of like they do with people in wheel chairs. HOWEVER, given OPs assessment of the step daughter's "competency" I might also put my foot down for a direct flight.
FrugalFannie
NES Member
I flew up and drove home 1800 miles to get my son home a week before we were scheduled to fly up for a wedding because he was, well let's just say he needed to be out of there a week earlier than planned. So I flew up and we both drove back (2 vehicles). Had a break down on the way and ended up an extra day on the road. When we got home I flew back to Maine either 2 or 3 days later to go to my brother's wedding. Any parent who doesn't think it's "worth it" to either spend the $ for a direct flight or drive a couple hours to see his kid is a piece of useless shit.
There was a bus on the flight...that plane must have been huge
yes, there are a metric ton of crappy airports where terminals require transport via bus or tram...not so common in the states but pretty common in Europe. One of the reasons I try not to connect via Munich...Sabiha in Istanbul has something similar, but instead of a bus to the terminal, they don’t have gates connecting to the planes (at least on flights I’ve taken) so you line up at the terminal and take a bus to the plane.....oh, Turkey, so weird..
AHM
NES Member
We did a week of Boston/Helsinki/London/Boston in Jun(/Jul)-92,
and flew British Air. The Boston/Helsinki leg involved a plane change at Heathrow.
(Eminently plausible; if we'd demanded non-stop, we probably would needed Finnair).
I still remember descending the air stairs onto the tarmac at Heathrow,
boarding a bus that dodged all the jets on the ramp,
enter the terminal where our UK/Finland flight originated,
and passed through security again -
even though we had been plucked from an airplane.
MrsA and I once had to do a plane change, I hustled her to the next gate, (she hates it when I do things like that, she's late for everything!)
We barely made it in time to board. We had been chatting with another couple on the first plane who were also making the switch, never saw them again.
If it were my 14yo daughter, it would be direct or forget about it.
We barely made it in time to board. We had been chatting with another couple on the first plane who were also making the switch, never saw them again.
If it were my 14yo daughter, it would be direct or forget about it.
