Ugh, not reading through it, if this has been said, keep on scrolling:
I wonder if it's the grip angle of 1911 that just works for you. There are guns that have the same angle to the grip. I'm not enough of a gun nerd to know of them, but I've read about it.
Personally, I'd like 20 min's on the range with you and one of your 'poor shooting' 9mm's and fix that for you. It's you, not the guns if they are quality firearms, sorry.