"Safe" Gun Options for Children in the Home

[apothecary123]

I am 30 and going to get married in October 2014. Fiance (doesn't like guns). Has only been to the range once with me. Fired the S&W 617 .22 and my S&W 3913. She had issues with decocker (Its Double action on the first trigger pull, then single action until empty or until the 3913 is decocked ). Either way I would rather have a more modern DAO Semi-Auto for home defense only. So I could mount a light on it.

My girlfriend never grew up with guns in the house and she wants me to get rid of everything but the shotgun if we have children until they are old enough. My father only had a black powder rifle until we were old enough to drive then he started his collection.

I own the following weapons:

S&W 442 J Frame .38 +P Revolver (Which is my everyday carry gun).

S&W 3913 9mm Semi-Auto (For those of you not familiar with this 3rd Generation Handgun it has a Decocker/ "Safety" Similar to the Beretta 92 9 mm). This is my home defense handgun. I love the 3rd Generation Smith and Wessons.

Remington 870 12 Gauge Shotgun with Single Point Sling Adapter. (Stored unloaded in safe)

Marlin (Forgot exact Model) Winchester 30-30 Lever Action Rifle

I have taken my girlfriend to the indoor range for the first time where she was pleasantly surprised to see a female shooting what appeared to be a .45. She has her LTC.

I think the shotgun is impractical for my current living situation, an apartment as a primary home defense weapon.

Her argument is that the shotgun would be big enough and difficult enough for a child under 10 years old (hypothetical age) to manipulate.

My argument against the shotgun is

1. The size of the weapon and the safety (we all know shotguns don't have hard double action triggers)
2. The manual of arms. I think she would have a hard time dealing with racking spent rounds, etc.
3. It would be the ONLY gun I could keep and I could no longer carry concealed (which is fine)

I feel safer her using the revolver or a semi-auto handgun (without the decocker) so all she has to do is pull the trigger.

She has never fired the shotgun.. I don't think she would like it. She is not a country girl.

I'm trying to compromise with a carbine of some type.... However I am very unfamiliar with those. Also in MA as we know in this great communist state its hard to get a lot of those nice rifles and handguns we see on you tube.

I even tried to explain that we could get a "Glock" like handgun and keep nothing in the chamber and that the guns would be kept locked in those quick access safes.

She goes back to the argument that its too small and a child could grab it.

I don't want to go down the AR- road (Mainly due to cost and lack of availability), but if I have to I will. Beretta makes a 9 mm Carbine but it maybe too complex for her to use.

Any ideas on how to handle this?

 

[Boman]

Not sure how a child is going to "grab" it while in a gun safe.

Sounds to me like you are being put in a situation that you cannot win. I have kids and none of them can get to any of my guns.

 

[one-eyed Jack]

Maybe you should go shooting in October instead. Jack.

 

[Come and take]

Not sure how a child is going to "grab" it while in a gun safe.

Sounds to me like you are being put in a situation that you cannot win. I have kids and none of them can get to any of my guns.

Plus 1. Sounds like you are going to hang them on the wall.
Safe= guns locked up.

 

[Boghog1]

Put your foot down now, seriously. There are woman that won't be freaked out by an inanimate piece of metal wood/plastic. Keep your weapons locked up and teach any children at a young age firearms safety. It is the ones that don't teach their children that are the ones that shoot themselves or others

 

[Revelationechc]

A gun in a locked safe is a gun a locked safe, regardless of the type of gun. If you debate her on this, you will lose. Just do what you want and make sure that the safe is locked when you leave the room. She'll get over it or she'll walk, either way you'll end up living only with people who accept and respect you.

 

[Len-2A Training]

Put your foot down now, seriously. There are woman that won't be freaked out by an inanimate piece of metal wood/plastic. Keep your weapons locked up and teach any children at a young age firearms safety. It is the ones that don't teach their children that are the ones that shoot themselves or others

^^^^ This!

 

[FSTC]

Send her to the range with a competent female instructor. Let her figure out common sense on her own. If she is "open" to the idea of a gun in the home, she is open minded enough for enlightenment.

Contact Claudia at BeSafe http://www.northeastshooters.com/vbulletin/forums/248-Be-Safe-Firearms-Training

 

[KTech2316]

Pick a fiancé that likes guns! All these BS rules before your married. Wait til after you have the signed documents...Might as well turn in your man card now and go buy some apple scrub and a loufa to wash where your balls used to be.

 

[Sprocket]

It sounds like an argument - she pulls arbitrary scenarios as a mechanism to derail your logical train of thought. Kids you don't have yet will be the basis for all her "No." answers.

You'd better lock up your hammers and saws when they're unplugged...

3rd gen S&W are great yes but there's a reason they went to the M&P series. My fiance had a hard time operating the 3rd gen I had - not just firing but clearing and racking the slide.

Size of apt has nothing to do with the size of the tools. And keeping the 5 guns you mentioned is the same amount of work for keeping any one of them. She may have her LTC but she's not on the same page as you are.

WRT the semi with light question:
M&P9 full size (or any similar pistol) + TLR1 Gun Mounted C4 LED Light by Streamlight

Your next question will be, "Is there anything cheaper?"

M&P's are all over the want ads below and the light can be found cheaper I'm sure, the internet is a big place.

My suggestion would be try solving your issues with her mindset first and let the hardware follow. Also wait until children actually come on the scene before solving a problem that doesn't exist. Teaching kids to respect and not touch the hardware has been done for generations - it's part of raising kids well.

Get a stack-on can, bolt it in the closet and keep the spare key somewhere in the house but not on the molding above the door...

- - - Updated - - -

Pick a fiancé that likes guns! All these BS rules before your married. Wait til after you have the signed documents...Might as well turn in your man card now and go buy some apple scrub and a loufa to wash where your balls used to be.

Moneytree78 - I tried to be tactful and helpful at the same time. You must be the one sitting on my other shoulder.

 

[Len-2A Training]

Send her to the range with a competent female instructor. Let her figure out common sense on her own. If she is "open" to the idea of a gun in the home, she is open minded enough for enlightenment.

Contact Claudia at BeSafe http://www.northeastshooters.com/vbulletin/forums/248-Be-Safe-Firearms-Training

I'm an NRA Instructor but will tell the OP that Claudia would be an awesome recommendation if the OP is anywhere in her area!!

I met and talked with her when she was teaching the Hunter Ed course at Braintree R&P and this woman has it together as an Instructor! If anyone can teach the OP's fiancée that the guns aren't the issue, proper safety practices are, it will be Claudia! After all we all have poisons under our sinks, tools (including kitchen knives) around, etc. all very hazardous items in the hands of a child that isn't properly trained not to touch certain things.

Good luck to the OP!

 

[soloman02]

Put your foot down now, seriously. There are woman that won't be freaked out by an inanimate piece of metal wood/plastic. Keep your weapons locked up and teach any children at a young age firearms safety. It is the ones that don't teach their children that are the ones that shoot themselves or others

This.

Also I assume you are in Mass since you referenced LTC. Mass requires that the firearms are either locked in a safe or have trigger locks on the firearms. If you don't have one already, get a gun cabinet. When your kids get a little older, get a real gun safe to ensure they won't be able to take some hand tools (crowbar, saw, etc) and break in.

 

[MAGG]

Pick a fiancé that likes guns! All these BS rules before your married. Wait til after you have the signed documents...Might as well turn in your man card now and go buy some apple scrub and a loufa to wash where your balls used to be.

plus 1

 

[murf4321]

not an optimal way to start a marriage. This is the man she chose to marry, she can get over it.

 

[cyberlogicx]

Marry someone who better fits your lifestyle.

 

[MikeInMA]

Just remember... Forever is a long time.

Limit her to one pair of earrings. They are a choking hazard you know.

 

[fencer]

What it all really boils down to, is how important is gun ownership to you?

I mean you no disrespect and if you are marrying the girl you obviously care about her very much, but if you are willing to allow her to set conditions on your gun ownership, it is very likely that sooner or later you will sell off your collection or only own guns she approves of. Which is cool if it is your choice.

My wife supports me and encouraged me to teach our kids to shoot and about firearms safety. But I knew that before we got married, 23 years ago.

Your future kids are more likely to be hurt by her unlocked windex than your locked guns, but what you do now will dictate the tone of your marriage, which I sincerely hope lasts for 75 years.

 

[murf4321]

What it all really boils down to, is how important is gun ownership to you?

I mean you no disrespect and if you are marrying the girl you obviously care about her very much, but if you are willing to allow her to set conditions on your gun ownership, it is very likely that sooner or later you will sell off your collection or only own guns she approves of. Which is cool if it is your choice.

My wife supports me and encouraged me to teach our kids to shoot and about firearms safety. But I knew that before we got married, 23 years ago.

Your future kids are more likely to be hurt by her unlocked windex than your locked guns, but what you do now will dictate the tone of your marriage, which I sincerely hope lasts for 75 years.

Well said.

 

[BattleSnail]

Put your foot down now, seriously. There are woman that won't be freaked out by an inanimate piece of metal wood/plastic. Keep your weapons locked up and teach any children at a young age firearms safety. It is the ones that don't teach their children that are the ones that shoot themselves or others

^this


My wife doesn't really like guns either. I told her tough shit, my affinity for guns is part of me. Take it or leave it. She never bitches about it anymore. She still doesn't heart them. But I'm going to push her into getting her license since we have so many guns in the house and I want her to be covered.

My licensing officer gave me the card of a guy who is super female friendly for training so I'm going to have her sign up for his class. I guess he's an ex ATF agent so we can safely assume he's "professnul enuff". Kidding aside, the licensing officer highly recommended him and told me he's great with making women comfortable around guns. Plus being a former federal agent, I think that might make my wife more comfortable than having "just a random guy" teach her. She kind of respects authority figures (I'm working on it).


Back to topic though, I strongly suggest you find a way to put your foot down. We plan to try to get preggo next year and all my wife has ever said is "you netter make sure the kids can't get them, imagine how you'd feel if there was an accident". She's 100% right about that!. I have two small pistol safes and my long guns are up in Maine. I'm going to in vest in a much bigger and more robust safe before the kids come.

As soon as the kids are old enough to hold a gun, I'll be teaching them the basics. Kids should be taught a healthy respect for guns and know how to safely handle one when supervised...when unsupervised they should know to immediately leave the area and find an adult if they come across a gun. It's that simple.

Currently a lot of my guns are loaded and hot even when locked up. When I have kids, I'll probably only leave one gun loaded and hot for home defense and keep the others locked up with the action open. Probably get a quick access safe for the nightstand for my home defense and carry gun.

There's lots of things you can do to make things safer, but giving up guns is bullshit. You need to get through to her and ease her fears.

 

[Spanz]

I think the shotgun is impractical for my current living situation, an apartment as a primary home defense weapon.

Her argument is that the shotgun would be big enough and difficult enough for a child under 10 years old (hypothetical age) to manipulate.

My argument against the shotgun is

1. The size of the weapon and the safety (we all know shotguns don't have hard double action triggers)
2. The manual of arms. I think she would have a hard time dealing with racking spent rounds, etc.
3. It would be the ONLY gun I could keep and I could no longer carry concealed (which is fine)

I feel safer her using the revolver or a semi-auto handgun (without the decocker) so all she has to do is pull the trigger.

She has never fired the shotgun.. I don't think she would like it. She is not a country girl.

I'm trying to compromise with a carbine of some type.... However I am very unfamiliar with those. Also in MA as we know in this great communist state its hard to get a lot of those nice rifles and handguns we see on you tube.

I even tried to explain that we could get a "Glock" like handgun and keep nothing in the chamber and that the guns would be kept locked in those quick access safes.

She goes back to the argument that its too small and a child could grab it.

I don't want to go down the AR- road (Mainly due to cost and

Any ideas on how to handle this?

your kidding right, I was shooting clays when I was 10. get a quick open safe and keep them in there. It technically is the law in MA....unless everyone in the house has an FID or LTC, then need to be locked. For the kid to enjoy shooting the shotgun, you will need some light target loads, and may need to shorten the stock a little.

 

[Wicked1911]

Take a home safty course together, once she sees for herself that owning a gun can be done in a safe manner hopefully she will see things differently. Just going to a range and shooting is not enough sometimes because they are just learning how to handle the gun not how to store and or use in the home safely.

 

[Stumpthumper]

Put your foot down now, seriously. There are woman that won't be freaked out by an inanimate piece of metal wood/plastic. Keep your weapons locked up and teach any children at a young age firearms safety. It is the ones that don't teach their children that are the ones that shoot themselves or others

+1
Let your fiance know that this is something that is important to you, that you would be happy to teach about it but you aren't going to argue about it. Be respectful but firm. If you can't have that discussion it should be a concern. I think you'll be fine....just tell her.

 

[StevieP]

Hi Apothecary123. Welcome to NES.

I've only had guns for four years. Married for 13. This is my second marriage (first one lasted nine years, and ended only because my ex is nuts. She's still un-happy, having been married and subsequently divorced a second time).

If I was 'compelled' to choose one or the other, I'd choose to keep my guns, and get a new wife.

I'm sorry if that sounds blunt, or un-caring. But I'm convinced that out of the five+ billion people in this world, that there are at least a few women out there that I could get along with, live with, and be quite happy being married to.

I would not be happy being "told" how to live my life, or what I can "have" or "not have." If you're starting your marriage giving up a civil right, then you're not going to be happy with other "demands" that she makes, and you'll end up separated/divorced anyway. And then you'd have no guns AND no wife.

Get a quality gun cabinet or safe. Keep your guns locked up when not under your direct control. Teach your (future) children the right way to respect guns, and you'll be fine, and have your wife, kids, AND guns.

 

[one-eyed Jack]

Maybe I'm just lucky. Been married for 56 yrs. I can have what I want and she can have what she wants. Works for us. As for guns, I bought her a .38 snubby and she bought me my first MG, a Reising 50 when they were going for $500. Jack.

 

[Sprocket]

Take a home safty course together, once she sees for herself that owning a gun can be done in a safe manner hopefully she will see things differently. Just going to range and shooting is not enough sometimes because they are just learning how to handle the gun not how to store and or use in the home safely.

This is good advice for anyone that plans to defend their home. You both see and hear the same things but with different perspectives. You can plan response based on being a team or solo depending on who's home at the time.

 

[BattleSnail]

Hi Apothecary123. Welcome to NES.

I've only had guns for four years. Married for 13. This is my second marriage (first one lasted nine years, and ended only because my ex is nuts. She's still un-happy, having been married and subsequently divorced a second time).

If I was 'compelled' to choose one or the other, I'd choose to keep my guns, and get a new wife.

I'm sorry if that sounds blunt, or un-caring. But I'm convinced that out of the five+ billion people in this world, that there are at least a few women out there that I could get along with, live with, and be quite happy being married to.

I would not be happy being "told" how to live my life, or what I can "have" or "not have." If you're starting your marriage giving up a civil right, then you're not going to be happy with other "demands" that she makes, and you'll end up separated/divorced anyway. And then you'd have no guns AND no wife.

Get a quality gun cabinet or safe. Keep your guns locked up when not under your direct control. Teach your (future) children the right way to respect guns, and you'll be fine, and have your wife, kids, AND guns.

^agree with this...I'd add that your wife doesn't have to like everything you like. Hell I don't "like" watching Bravo, shoes, and makeup, but I don't give a shit if she likes/has that stuff. Both partners in a marriage DO ABSOLUTELY need to respect each other though. And I don't think it's very respectful for a woman to tell me what I'm allowed to have in the house or not. I'm a man, not a little boy and I'll have whatever the F I want to have. Your (OP) fiance either respects that or not. Do what you want, but I'd think long and hard about it. I know I'd not give up a damn one of my guns for a woman.

 

[EJFudd]

Threads like this make me wonder how the Hell my younger brother and I ever survived growing up with guns in the house right from the day we were born... long before gun safes and trigger locks were even thought about. The long guns were in open wooden racks on the wall and the handguns were in Dad's old Pachmayr range case or in his bureau drawer.

It's a miracle I tell you. A miracle!!!

 

[Chet0729]

Not off to a good start. This is really a small issue in the big picture of life's problems. Only you and her can work it out. If there are children in the house the guns need to be secured until they are old enough to be taught to safely handle and be around them. This is different with all kids. Unfortunately a home defense weapon locked in a safe that is not readily accessible is not very effective should you ever need it. Getting her to like guns and not fearing them will go a long way towards resolving this. As someone else mentioned, a good female instructor my go a long way.

 

[AM13]

I am 30 and going to get married in October 2014. Fiance (doesn't like guns). Has only been to the range once with me. Fired the S&W 617 .22 and my S&W 3913. She had issues with decocker (Its Double action on the first trigger pull, then single action until empty or until the 3913 is decocked ). Either way I would rather have a more modern DAO Semi-Auto for home defense only. So I could mount a light on it.

My girlfriend never grew up with guns in the house and she wants me to get rid of everything but the shotgun if we have children until they are old enough. My father only had a black powder rifle until we were old enough to drive then he started his collection.

I own the following weapons:

S&W 442 J Frame .38 +P Revolver (Which is my everyday carry gun).

S&W 3913 9mm Semi-Auto (For those of you not familiar with this 3rd Generation Handgun it has a Decocker/ "Safety" Similar to the Beretta 92 9 mm). This is my home defense handgun. I love the 3rd Generation Smith and Wessons.

Remington 870 12 Gauge Shotgun with Single Point Sling Adapter. (Stored unloaded in safe)

Marlin (Forgot exact Model) Winchester 30-30 Lever Action Rifle

I have taken my girlfriend to the indoor range for the first time where she was pleasantly surprised to see a female shooting what appeared to be a .45. She has her LTC.

I think the shotgun is impractical for my current living situation, an apartment as a primary home defense weapon.

Her argument is that the shotgun would be big enough and difficult enough for a child under 10 years old (hypothetical age) to manipulate.

My argument against the shotgun is

1. The size of the weapon and the safety (we all know shotguns don't have hard double action triggers)
2. The manual of arms. I think she would have a hard time dealing with racking spent rounds, etc.
3. It would be the ONLY gun I could keep and I could no longer carry concealed (which is fine)

I feel safer her using the revolver or a semi-auto handgun (without the decocker) so all she has to do is pull the trigger.

She has never fired the shotgun.. I don't think she would like it. She is not a country girl.

I'm trying to compromise with a carbine of some type.... However I am very unfamiliar with those. Also in MA as we know in this great communist state its hard to get a lot of those nice rifles and handguns we see on you tube.

I even tried to explain that we could get a "Glock" like handgun and keep nothing in the chamber and that the guns would be kept locked in those quick access safes.

She goes back to the argument that its too small and a child could grab it.

I don't want to go down the AR- road (Mainly due to cost and lack of availability), but if I have to I will. Beretta makes a 9 mm Carbine but it maybe too complex for her to use.

Any ideas on how to handle this?

Dude DONT DO IT! if you let her "make" you sell your guns just keep the safe so she can lock you nut bag up in there for safe keeping. my wife doesn't love guns either but she has taken the safety course and done a little shooting, she understands the reason I have them. Plus even though she may not admit it I know she feels much better when im not home, knowing that they're there

 

[Terminator03]

Put your foot down now, seriously. There are woman that won't be freaked out by an inanimate piece of metal wood/plastic. Keep your weapons locked up and teach any children at a young age firearms safety. It is the ones that don't teach their children that are the ones that shoot themselves or others

^This 110%! Sometimes you really have to be the man and strap on your balls. We all have to make compromises to some extent to keep a happy wife/girlfriend, but this should not be an area of compromise, other than doing everything in your power to show that you are as safe as possible in how you store and handle firearms, especially with children in the house. This should be common sense anyway, but it is also the law here in MA. What the heck do you mean when you say you can no longer conceal carry? She is seriously telling you that you can't do something that you do now, and likely did prior to meeting her? I won't presume to tell you what to do, but you seriously need to rethink the things you wrote above and consider the fact that if you let her have her way on this issue, you will never again be able to make decisions that matter to YOU, and that will eventually cause discord in your marriage down the road, so it is better to set the stage now with things that are important to you. As far as your mention of the AR platform, they are NOT hard to buy, or own in the state of MA, and are perfectly legal as long as you have the bayonet lug cut off, and pin the muzzle device so that it can't be unscrewed, and pin the stock (if it's an adjustable type) - that's it (these things will already be done if buying a rifle at a store anyway). The only slight glitch is that standard capacity mags (20+30 round) can only be possessed if they were made prior to Sept. '94 (pre-ban). Sounds like an AR would be a no-go for you anyway though with all of the new rules you will have to abide by.