I don't know if you can help

venting is one of the ways to relieve the pressure built up in you..never feel bad about talking on here. keep staying strong
 
Wow, I am so very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

I have no other advice to add. LenS & OfficerObie59 did a good job.

If you need anything, let me/us know.
 
Joe&Grace2A said:
Thank you all so very much. I've been told by a lawyer that it will need to be handled in probate but it should not be an issue regarding ownership. As suggested I'll just be upfront with whoever we see for counseling my concerns about privacy. Suicidal thoughts are not an issue, today all that's gripping me is anger.

Again I'm sorry to vent. I just feel like I'm venting to people that understand my angle. Thanks for your prayers and kind words.

Pity party \
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Vent all you want. As dysfunctional as we are here...we're still a family of sorts. [grin]
 
Seriously if you need to reach out do so and we'll be here for you. Vent as much as you need to, it is much healthier for you and will help you get thru this terrible time. It is those that keep it all bottled up inside that explode without visible warning.
 
My condolences for your loss. May he finally rest peacefully.
If you don't mind saying so, how old are the kids?

Plenty of good advice from the board, no surprise there. Best of luck.

-Proud to be dad every day, a licensed plumber most days, and wish I was a shoemaker on others.
 
I can't add to what has been already been said, except to point out a silver lining behind your cloud - everyone who reads this will consider how insignificant and petty their own worries, troubles and concerns are compared to what you've experienced.

Be strong - stay in touch with all of us.

*
 
Joe&Grace2A said:
So I know I haven't been on here long but I have come to feel like I know some of you. There's been a tragedy in my family and I am being barraged with well-meaning advice but hoped to turn to some of you for some answers. To air my dirty laundry publicly may not be in the best taste but I am so devoid of feeling at this point I just don't give a shit.

We lost Joe unexpectedly early Friday morning. By his own hand. In my living room. I am lost.

My family did not know the extent of our gun collection and are horrified. I need to know the legality of his guns now as there was no will. We have 7 pairs, half of which are in my name other half his. We were not married but have been together since high school, 12 years.

My brother has his ltc. He is telling me that since the boys and I will need to be in grief counseling it will be best to transfer the guns to him in the interim as there may be things that come out in counseling that could somehow be detrimental to my own ltc.

I also want to know how long it will take to get the gun back from the PD that he used. MSP are giving me no timeline. I want it back so I can sell it.

So I guess I'm asking how do I gain ownership of his, should I transfer them to my brother/is he telling the truth, and does anyone know if I'll ever get the gun back.

Thanks for any info.
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I was in a similar situation last year around thanksgiving. Let me preface this by saying these are not my decisions and I was doing all in my power to get the firearms away from him. Anyway last thanksgiving morning my Father shot himself in the leg when he past out while drinking with the pistol in his hand(not trying to kill himself just being an idiot). He did survive after surgery but obviously lost his license. When I went to the MSP to get the pistol all that was needed was for him to sign off as he was family he could sign them over. Obviously you are in a different situation than what I was in so it may be different I just wanted to let you know it wasn't a huge process to get a firearm back that was used in a "similar" situation. I am sorry for your loss it is a very difficult thing to go through I lost my father 6 years ago he just isn't dead yet.
 
I am sorry for your loss. My brother took his own life and left no will either. The police will hold the item/s as evidence until the case is officially closed. It took several months before the police released all the guns back to me. I then transferred them via a local gun shop into my name.
Personally I would not "transfer" anything to anyone. If the police only took the gun in question. Just hang onto the others until you have time to consult legal advice on how to handle his estate not being married.
So sad that these things happen.....
The gun my brother used was originally my dads and per his request ordered it destroyed. I didn't question him. The rest of the small collection sits with me.
For me as long as you are of stable mind and the guns are secured in a safe so no one has access them there are other matters to deal with first. I don't know what grief counsel or how it will affect you Otc BUT you might say the wrong thing and those you talk to may talk to others........terrible to go through, I know
 
Friday said:
I'm very sorry to hear of your lost. I'm sorry to hear your mate decided to take his own life. I hope you are able to find support to get through this tragedy.

As for his guns, I would put them into the trust of your family attorney. Obviously I don't have more than what you're sharing here, but if Joe's guns were your brother's first concern, it may be an indicator of his motivations. I don't know the nature of your relationship with your brother, so it is hard to gauge if he is being genuine or not with regard to his concern for you.

IANAL, but if you aren't married, and he is intestate, they're pretty much up for grabs. MA is not a common law marriage state, however, most courts will take your living arrangement into consideration. Remember, possession counts.
Probate can be a messy business, more so when surviving family start acting like scavengers. Been there, (did not enjoy) done that.

My advice, worth what you paid: Hang onto them, get an attorney to assist in the disposition of the estate.

ETA- overlooked you have your LTC. Keep them locked up until estate resolved.
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So sorry to hear of this. What a tough thing to process. I hope you find some peace in the days to come.

That being said I agree with the above. The day after my dads funeral my uncle showed up at my moms and took every gun my dad had. She was just not thinking straight and he took advantage of the situation.

Since you were together 12 years then most states recognize some sort of common law status for you. Don't get rid of anything you'd like to keep.
Don't make any hasty decisions until you've had a chance to recover from this a little.
 
Grace, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I hope the thoughts and prayers of all of us here help you, even if only a little.
 
And I somehow feel that they are...thank you all. To whomever asked, my beautiful boys are 4 1/2 and 6. Yet waay stronger than me.
 
I'm so sorry for your family's loss.
Please forever encourage your brother to be there for the boys.
They can't begin to understand why this is.

My condolences.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
 
Yeah so we're all in the wrong business.

A giant **** YOU TO THE HIGHWAY ROBBERS DISGUISED AS FUNERAL PARLORS AND OBITUARY EDITORS.

****.

/
 
Joe&Grace2A said:
Yeah so we're all in the wrong business.

A giant **** YOU TO THE HIGHWAY ROBBERS DISGUISED AS FUNERAL PARLORS AND OBITUARY EDITORS.

****.

/
Click to expand...

Absurd, isn't it? They really have made an industry out of death.

Hope you and your boys are holding up ok. As others have said, let us know if there is anything we can do to help out.

Buck.

Sent from Buck's antlers. Yes, they have secret built-in antennas.
 

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