Family problems with guns

klokos said:
Thanks for all the answers.

If it's not on my person, it is always locked up.

My family is a big tight knit family..I would hate to not be able to see my nieces and nephews (all are under 3 years old) because of this. I'm really trying to keep calm through all this and do things the right way without just going off…but it's hard when I'm continuosly bashed for wanting to protect myself. You would think they would trust a family member who is very knowledgable on firearms and ammunition.
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Obviously, no one here knows the family dynamics, except for you. And only you could answer a question.

But, if at Thanksgiving, all of your family is over and one thing leads to another and a disagreement (verbal only) happens. How likely is it that somebody, your sister or your ultra anti-gun liberal second aunt twice removed, has had enough to decide to call the PD saying

"Oh my God! They are fighting, and there are kids in the house, he is drunk (1 sip of beer) and he has PTSD (because all liberals have decided that ALL vets have PTSD)and has a GUN!".

Only you can judge the dynamics of the situation.
 
Tell your sister that you find her kids offensive and would like them locked up when at the house, lock them in a closet...not your gun safe
 
Keep trying.
Keep explaining to them.
It is locked up 100% of the time when its not on your person.
There is literally a 0.00% chance and accident will happen.

Their fear is obviously an accident where the kids get a hold of the gun(s).
Address it head on.
 
Jim85IROC said:
my wife is pro 2A, and would probably still be skeeved out if I decided to start carrying around the house. Unless you're really in a neighborhood where your family's life is in some sort of legitimate danger within the home, I'd put the thing in a safe place when entering the home in order to keep the peace.
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+1...my wife shots better than me...but would feel the same way carrying in the house.
 
PaulR said:
Keep trying.
Keep explaining to them.
It is locked up 100% of the time when its not on your person.
There is literally a 0.00% chance and accident will happen.

Their fear is obviously an accident where the kids get a hold of the gun(s).
Address it head on.
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Just leading to the inevitable, you don't use it anyway. You need to get rid of it and get it out of this house argument. You are not watching it all the time, the kids could get into it argument.

The sister (having kids in the house) holds all the leverage. Short of getting into a escalated pissing match of call the police for gun, vs call DSS for the kids..ultimately hurts everyone..
 
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one-eyed Jack said:
Just keep your gun out of their sight at all times. If they ask about it, tell them that you got rid of it for their sake. Jack.
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Or just tell them that it is locked up. They don't need to know that you are carrying. Besides, as long as your parents are ok with it, they have no say!

Then make sure to tell them that they put their children at greater risk on the drive over there or when they bathe them than you do by having a gun in the house!
 
seanc said:
Obviously, no one here knows the family dynamics, except for you. And only you could answer a question.

But, if at Thanksgiving, all of your family is over and one thing leads to another and a disagreement (verbal only) happens. How likely is it that somebody, your sister or your ultra anti-gun liberal second aunt twice removed, has had enough to decide to call the PD saying

"Oh my God! They are fighting, and there are kids in the house, he is drunk (1 sip of beer) and he has PTSD (because all liberals have decided that ALL vets have PTSD)and has a GUN!".

Only you can judge the dynamics of the situation.
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A very good reason not to get emotional (pissed off) if you can help it! If an argument starts, stick with the facts.
 
Just move out.

Solution to the whole ordeal.

You're not going to get anywhere arguing with parents who aren't gun people- they want their children safe, and that's it.
 
Get job, enroll in local community college, use the BAH part of the Post-9/11 GI Bill to pay for an apartment rental, the tuition part to pay for the tuition, the job to pay for food and bills and to save as much as you can while you live where you can live as you please, as the grown up you are, and earn a degree at the same time. Use the spare time to start planning for a better job when the GI Bill funds dry up, and translating every school, training, and certification from military to English. E-5 BAH should cover a small apartment, though. Your joint services transcript might have enough credit recommendations to eliminate the need to take any BS electives, too.

YMMV. I'm just thinking about what I'd do given similar circumstances and parroting some of the advice people have been giving me for retirement in 5 years.
 
So you can be trusted on hostile foreign soil with a loaded rifle but you can't be trusted with a ccw by family at home? Convey how messed up that logic is to her. That is insulting. Your kitchen knives are in the knife rack, Draino is child proofed under the sink, and guns are under your control or locked up. WHAT'S THE MATTER?!

If she thinks YOU can't be trusted then you need to sit down and have a conversation with her.
 
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To translate into moonbat..

jho said:
So you can be trusted on hostile foreign soil with a loaded rifle but you can't be trusted with a ccw by family at home?
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That was during a War, there is no war here. And that was in a very far away place that only exists on the news If you think you need to have a gun in this very peaceful Garden of Eden here, you need help. You are paranoid, need a shrink and probably have PTSD.

jho said:
Convey how messed up that logic is to her.
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You're messed up. You're paranoid. You have PTSD. You are scaring me. You are scaring my kids. You may be a danger to me, my kids and yourself. Maybe I should call somebody now.

jho said:
That is insulting.
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You're insulting. You are getting angry and you are scaring me.

jho said:
Your kitchen knives are in the knife rack,
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Kitchen knives are for making food. Guns kill people.

jho said:
Draino is child proofed under the sink,
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The kids know to not go under the sink, They will be magically drawn to the gun. Find it, pick the lock and hurt them selves or somebody else.

jho said:
and guns are under your control or locked up.
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See above, the veins on your neck are now popping up and you are pretty much shouting. I feel very threatened.


jho said:
WHAT'S THE MATTER?!
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Ok, You now are shouting and threatening me. Your PTSD and paranoia and persecution complex have taken over, I am going to call the police now. You need to be removed from the house, have you manliness totem taken away and be put some place for observation and medicated until cured.


jho said:
If she thinks YOU can't be trusted then you need to sit down and have a conversation with her.
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Ya, call me from the psych ward when you are properly chemically lobotomized and ready to be driven to the half way house..
 
seanc said:
To translate into moonbat..


That was during a War, there is no war here. And that was in a very far away place that only exists on the news If you think you need to have a gun in this very peaceful Garden of Eden here, you need help. You are paranoid, need a shrink and probably have PTSD.


You're messed up. You're paranoid. You have PTSD. You are scaring me. You are scaring my kids. You may be a danger to me, my kids and yourself. Maybe I should call somebody now.


You're insulting. You are getting angry and you are scaring me.


Kitchen knives are for making food. Guns kill people.


The kids know to not go under the sink, They will be magically drawn to the gun. Find it, pick the lock and hurt them selves or somebody else.


See above, the veins on your neck are now popping up and you are pretty much shouting. I feel very threatened.



Ok, You now are shouting and threatening me. Your PTSD and paranoia and persecution complex have taken over, I am going to call the police now. You need to be removed from the house, have you manliness totem taken away and be put some place for observation and medicated until cured.



Ya, call me from the psych ward when you are properly chemically lobotomized and ready to be driven to the half way house..
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Unfortunately this is the route she can take if she wants your suitability challenged. We won't recommend that to her. If you feel betrayed by your own family because of it just tell her you'll move and make it easier on her. Any loving family member with half a heart would learn to meet you half way. They had to deal with the possibility of you never coming home. I would hope they aren't so ready to let you go.

This isn't about "liking" guns or about sport shooting.

If she feels like guns are just gonna unlock the safe and walk over to the kids that's one thing that can be fixed with a tour of your safe and a day at the range. If she doesn't trust you to be a civil human being, then that is her problem and you should find work and rent a place out.
 
jho said:
Unfortunately this is the route she can take if she wants your suitability challenged. We won't recommend that to her. If you feel betrayed by your own family because of it just tell her you'll move and make it easier on her. Any loving family member with half a heart would learn to meet you half way. They had to deal with the possibility of you never coming home. I would hope they aren't so ready to let you go.

This isn't about "liking" guns or about sport shooting.

If she feels like guns are just gonna unlock the safe and walk over to the kids that's one thing that can be fixed with a tour of your safe and a day at the range. If she doesn't trust you to be a civil human being, then that is her problem and you should find work and rent a place out.
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All I can say is that I had experiences similar to this from relatives somewhat and more applicably, girlfriends. After these types of conversations, they were very quickly X girlfriends. At least with those, you can get them out of your life.. Not so easy with family..

And NO. no amount of "touring the safe" will convince a hard core moonbat that an inanimate piece of steel is incapable of performing feats superior to Harry Houdini in extricating itself from that locked box. Or that a 7 year old actually IS not able to open a 4 digit dial combination lock on a 500lb safe.

And Guns kill people, they are icky and dangerous and I (she) would never go any place where people were actually going to (GASP) shoot them!
 
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Sorry you had to come back to this potential Sh!tstorm. My parents hate guns, but they are out of sight and out of mind.I would try education first, offer to take them shooting, most people will knock it until they have tried it. if that does not work concealed means concealed. if even that does not work it may be time to move
 
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Arguing is pointless. No way to win when the other side argues purely from emotion. Since you cannot educate them, keep the hardware completely out of their view and move out ASAP.
 
Ask Sis (calmly) how far into her personal business she willing to allow you?
If the guns are locked up and not accessible to the kids, then it's her trying to control you.
If she's divorced, is she willing to submit any future step dads for her kids to your approval? (It's for the children).
You get the point.
If all else fails, then a simple "We're not having this discussion" end of story.
 
Something that MAY be worth trying would be this.

Rent a safe deposit box. Put the gun and all related stuff in there.

Let THEM figure out that the gun is no longer there. When asked, tell them you got rid of it.

Give it some time of them telling you how proud of you they are for doing "the right thing" and generally basking in their collective after glow of self righteousness.

Let them thoroughly search (or give them time to search when you are not there).

A couple of weeks after that ends. Quietly, bring the gun back (with the small safe) hide it and always CONCEAL it.

If you are found out, then see what happens from there.
Q I thought you got rid of that thing?
A. Ya, and I thought you were a fit parent..

Wash, rinse, repeat, take it from the top one more time!
 
IMHO, this is an education issue. Regardless of where you live or your employment status, you want to be welcome in all your family's homes.

My wife was vehemently anti-gun until she had kids. Then she took a course with AWARE.org and got her LTC. AWARE courses are always taught by women. They allow males to assist on the range, but the lead instructor is always female. They understand and empathize with the issues your sisters face. I recommend you contact AWARE and either get your sisters to a class, or if you have enough sisters, you might even arrange a class for your family. The AWARE folks are very flexible.

The pitch I made to my wife went like this. Ignorance is never useful. I'm not asking you to own or carry guns. I'm asking you to educate yourself about guns so you can make informed decisions. Guns exist in the world, and you and your kids may encounter them. You should at least know enough about guns to be able to unload one and render it safe if you encounter one.

That pitch was enough to get her to take the AWARE course that includes NRA Basic Pistol and the Mass State requirements.

The next step happened on the way home from her taking that course. She got *really* pissed that I had an LTC that allowed me to do things that she could not. So she got her LTC immediately. She doesn't carry, but she can, and she shoots very well.

This worked for me. I never could have done it without AWARE's help. There are other organizations of female shooters around now, but AWARE is the one I know and recommend.
 
I'm very pro gun rights but it would probably make me nervous if someone was carrying in the house with my two kids. And my kids aren't even old enough to know what a gun is, or strong enough to pull a trigger. Now if it were my brother, who's in the Army, I'd be fine with it, so I guess it depends on your relationship with your relatives.

it is hard to be rational when it is your kids. Stairs make me nervous (I installed the gates myself).

Can you just keep them out of sight when they're around, or that's not enough for them? We keep our condoms out of sight. :)
 
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If I was in this situation keeping family together would be very high on my priority list. I would likely try to strike a compromise where I would lock up the firearm when at home, and carry whenever I was not at home. Then I would start an aggressive job search and try to get out on my own ASAP. Everyone has their own opinion on this, but going to war with my family would be avoided at all costs.
 
Varmint said:
I'm very pro gun rights but it would probably make me nervous if someone was carrying in the house with my two kids. And my kids aren't even old enough to know what a gun is, or strong enough to pull a trigger........
it is hard to be rational when it is your kids. Stairs make me nervous (I installed the gates myself).
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Huh? What? You do of course realize that your kids would be about 1000 times more likely to get hurt with one of your kitchen knives, a light socket or your bath tub, right?
 
The one who has the biggest problem about it doesn't even have any children..she does have a lot of anxiety and other mental things going on though, which is why I'm trying to keep my cool and see things through her eyes. Maybe there really won't be a way to get through to her. I do'nt plan on taking her to a range..she's already said it wouldn't be a good idea

@fencer - I don't work right now. Definitely seems like it's time to go to college and move out though.
 

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