My wife is on to me....

Never been married ([smile]), but every girlfriend I've had since I started collecting learned early on not to question me about such things.

Here's my secret:

GF: "Hey babe, is that another gun you bought today?"

Me: No words are spoken. Eyes get wide as I glare at her, nostrils flare, mouth is pursed, hands are shaking.

END.

[wink]
 
Honey, I wasn't looking to buy a gun, but when I saw this one, and the condition it was in for such a low price I just had to grab it. It's probably worth $200 or $300 more than I paid for it already. Better than money in the stock market. If anything ever happens to me, God forbid, you'll be a lot better off when you sell these guns for a lot more than I paid for them.

Or words to that effect. It's worked for me for 30 years.
 
Realtor MA said:
Honey, I was on my way to Church, to thank god that I'm married to you, when this beautiful woman propositioned me. She said she had just been dumped by her boyfriend and needed to be with a man to make herself feel better. She was really beautiful and she kept pleading with me but I finally managed to get my message across that no meant no. Well after that I was feeling so good about myself and I knew you would be so proud of me I went and bought this gun as a reminder of this great day.
Click to expand...

I really want to know how that one is going to work out for you.[shocked][laugh]
 
Thankfully hubby doesn't have to resort to any of that. So I have no good lines for you. The only thing hubby has to worry about is whether I will claim it and give him visitation rights.[grin][laugh]
 
My wife thinks they all look the same. So when I come home with a new one and she inquires about it I say I've had this one forever. So far so good.
 
She just suggested we buy a new set of pots and pans. She doesn't even cook.[rofl] I'm the one that cooks. I'm making out like a bandit today. I hope she suggests a box of cubans next.[smile]
 
If you dated the "right" woman, you'd know that she was about to say "Cool! When can we go to the range to try it out?"
Click to expand...

I dated her once.
She cheated on me.
I forgave her.
She kept cheating on me.

I now own all her guns (after she left, she needed money and I was willing to pay a little more than the local gun shop was)

As I've said before, I believe Honesty is the only policy when it comes to a significant other.

"Honey, I bought another gun today, it's an XYZ."

"Why did you need another gun?"

"I Didn't. I didn't have one like it and wanted one. It was available for a good price, so I picked it up"

It's worked so far.
 
Timber said:
"I didn't buy it. I've been rubbing toilet paper on my collection, and it just keeps expanding. Just like your butt."
Click to expand...

Thats when you come home to this.
5574_549633298742_44103170_32693152.jpg
 
The best one I have found is this:

"I know, it's another gun. I bought this one because it's the one I have always wanted and
it finally was available and affordable. Don't worry, I'm going to sell one of the ones I have
so I can pay for it."

Always works...


PS: Don't sell anything if you don't have/want to.
 
T3andme said:
[shocked]He wants a new gun, not a brawl[laugh]
def. not the key to martial bliss[rofl]
Click to expand...

It might be the key to Martial bliss, but it won't be the key to Marital bliss! [rofl]


JohnM said:
I tried this one-

"The tough guys on NES told me I was being a p-whipped fag for even TALKING to you about my $1,000/week purchases, so from now on, just mind your own f**king business, got it? Now fix me a f**king sammich before I hit eject on this relationship!"

Didn't go over like the tough guys here said it would.... [wink]
Click to expand...

Did they give you a date when they expect to release you from the hospital?

It's nice of them to have wireless for patient use, isn't it?

[rofl] [laugh2] [laugh]

depicts said:
Honey, I wasn't looking to buy a gun, but when I saw this one, and the condition it was in for such a low price I just had to grab it. It's probably worth $200 or $300 more than I paid for it already. Better than money in the stock market. If anything ever happens to me, God forbid, you'll be a lot better off when you sell these guns for a lot more than I paid for them.

Or words to that effect. It's worked for me for 30 years.
Click to expand...

The first highlighted statement is sadly true!

I agree with both highlighted statements and use them (successfully) too.

cekim said:
If you dated the "right" woman, you'd know that she was about to say "Cool! When can we go to the range to try it out?"[wink]
Click to expand...

After I discussed purchasing my latest (big bucks) purchase, my Wife was bugging me "did you get it yet??" continually. It took me about 4-5 days to make contact and arrange to pick it up, Yup, she enjoys shooting it too.
 
cekim said:
If you dated the "right" woman, you'd know that she was about to say "Cool! When can we go to the range to try it out?"[wink]
Click to expand...

Fortunately, that is the response I usually get. The last few purchases were because of her..
The downside: She won't let me get rid of them if she gets attached. I have a NICE Bushmaster DCM/CMP upper I want to sell (damn impulse buys!), but she is convinced that it is the most accurate iron-sight rifle she has shot and gives me a sad look when I mention selling it.

She DID however draw the line at a .50BMG. "It would cost a fortune to feed it, you would have to buy new reloading equipment for it, new optics, rails, mags, new cleaning supplies, and there is no range in the area to shoot it at! Stick with .308" Damn smart women and their stupid logic.... [frown]
 
My conversation with my GF

Me "I want to buy an AK" (or AR depending which day it is)
Her "You don't need another rifle"
Me "I want another rifle"
Her "Can you afford it"
Me "Yes, I've been saving"
Her "Alright then if that's what you want."

I think I'll keep her. [smile]

So Mikey $525.00 cash. [wink]
 
Last edited:
MrsWildweasel said:
The only thing hubby has to worry about is whether I will claim it and give him visitation rights.[grin][laugh]
Click to expand...

So how is that AK Sporter you bought the other day?

*

I made the mistake once of leaving my gun picture album around where the wife could find it. Now we're on a "net zero" arrangement - something comes in, something else goes out.

Milsurps are still your best protection from discovery. When they're field stripped and laying on the bench, it's all wood and steel and springs - they all look the same.

Everytime she takes a look at the bench, it's "are you cleaning that gun again?"

"Yes, dear. It's the humidity, you know."

*
 
Say any one of the following: It was an unbelievable deal...it's worth 4X what I paid.
I didn't buy this, I'm keeping it for Joe from work while he's away on business. He doesn't want it sitting in an empty house and said to use it all I want until he gets back in December.
I got it for free. Can you believe Joe just gave it to me when he upgraded to his 1911?! I'm going to get him a couple of cases of beer, I feel bad just taking it.
I got it at a police auction for $20. No one else there had an LTC so they couldn't bid on it...I've got to go to more of those things.
What are you talking about, I've always had this gun. I just had the trigger repaired. You know, if you paid more attention to my interests, you know what I have in my collection.
You know that website I always go to, NES? Well there was a guy willing to trade it for (insert your skillset here) work. I jumped at the chance, and it only took a couple of days to do.
Joe from work died and left this to me in his will. The guys and I are going over to help Joe's brother clean out the house on Saturday, so I can't go visit your mother...
 
JohnM said:
"The tough guys on NES told me I was being a p-whipped fag for even TALKING to you about my $1,000/week purchases, so from now on, just mind your own f**king business, got it? Now fix me a turkey potpie before I hit eject on this relationship!"

Didn't go over like the tough guys here said it would.... [wink]
Click to expand...

Fixed it for ya. That should get you in the clear. [wink]
 
When my husband and I were discussing if we needed to buy another open gun (a good price, but still really expensive), I was the voice of reason and told him we'd sleep on it. He got up early in the morning and asked me if he could by it while I was still sleeping. I have a vague recollection of saying...hhhuuuuhhhh?... mmmm... hhuuhh which he took to mean yes. He put in the offer, and we got a new gun!

You'll look good because you asked. She just needs to be a deep sleeper.
 
USMA-82 said:
So how is that AK Sporter you bought the other day?

*

I made the mistake once of leaving my gun picture album around where the wife could find it. Now we're on a "net zero" arrangement - something comes in, something else goes out.

Milsurps are still your best protection from discovery. When they're field stripped and laying on the bench, it's all wood and steel and springs - they all look the same.

Everytime she takes a look at the bench, it's "are you cleaning that gun again?"

"Yes, dear. It's the humidity, you know."

*
Click to expand...

Haven't tried it yet.[laugh] Have to get down the road to the gravel bank soon though. Garden has me busy canning.
 

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