Is it legal to store firearms not in my house?

wcorey said:
Just playing devils advocate here...
Maybe the wifey has a valid point, maybe the op is historically a total fukk up and will inevitably leave the safe open or a loaded gun out on a table.
Most likely not but...
Click to expand...


One thing to consider is that maybe the wife's concerns are not complete ignorant hoplophobe crazyness. They might just be ignorance, or maybe there's stuff we're not considering.

Is he a flake? Does he have a habit of leaving the safe unlocked? Does he currently leave guns or gun stuff all over the house?

Even the best of us will, eventually, f*** up and forget to lock the safe, or leave ammo somewhere we shouldn't.

Those are legitimate concerns, not fabricated left wing propaganda.

How serious those risks are, and how those compare to the risks of cribs or cleaning products or stairs or electrical outlets is a completely valid topic of discussion.

We all have our built-in biases we get from our parents and friends and the media we consume. It's entirely possible there's some unreasonable fear that can be assuaged with knowledge.


Broc said:
We have to assume the OP is not a moron.
Click to expand...

That seems like a reasonable place to start.

But even in the case that he's not a moron and not a flake and doesn't leave stuff around by accident, there's the very real, however small, risk of lead poisoning. Lead is very, very bad for a fetus, infant, young child, etc. Bringing guns and gun stuff into the house increases that risk by more than zero. I don't mean the risk can't be mitigated, it just that it's a real, legitimate concern.

She might be a 10/10 in every other aspect, so a little compromise might be worth it. To be clear, when I say "compromise" I don't mean "give in", I mean "everyone gets something they want, just not 100% of what they want".
 
milktree said:
That seems like a reasonable place to start.

But even in the case that he's not a moron and not a flake and doesn't leave stuff around by accident, there's the very real, however small, risk of lead poisoning. Lead is very, very bad for a fetus, infant, young child, etc. Bringing guns and gun stuff into the house increases that risk by more than zero. I don't mean the risk can't be mitigated, it just that it's a real, legitimate concern.

She might be a 10/10 in every other aspect, so a little compromise might be worth it. To be clear, when I say "compromise" I don't mean "give in", I mean "everyone gets something they want, just not 100% of what they want".
Click to expand...
I disagree. The issue with lead dust is going to be with his shoes, pants, t-shirt, hands, all over his car... and his kid touching everything (floor, couches, car seat ...). That will happen regardless of where the guns are stored.

His guns are not the problem. The handguns and rifles go in a case and done. They are the least of the worries when it comes to lead.

If the issue is lead, the best solution is to take his shoes, pants and shirt off at the range, never touch his phone while shooting and clean his hands with wipes. Then vacuum his car every 2 or 3 weeks and never walk around the house wearing his range clothes.

The compromise in this situation is that he shoots less (assuming he actually goes to the range) and takes care of his kid. Giving up his guns is not a good compromise.
 
DTSN72 said:
Long story short, we just had a kid and my wife wants my firearms out of the house. It's annoying, and I know y'all are going to say that it's time to trade in my wife, but really this is the only place we don't see eye to eye, so I'm trying to respect her wishes. She's always been super supportive of me in just about every way, but she's taking the hard line when it comes to guns in the house and a kid. Basically she said look, the second he's out of high school you can bring it all back and more, but while he's here I don't feel comfortable. It is what it is, so I'm trying to come up with a solve.

I rent a locked garage space from my neighbor literally 3 houses up and could easily move my safe up there. I'm curious though, I pay for that space month to month and do not have any type of lease. Would storing them there be kosher from a legal perspective and would I be under any obligation to inform the owner? Curious to get everyone's thoughts.

Thanks.
Click to expand...
OP, I feel bad for you. You might be OK from a legal standpoint, but an unheated garage without power (to run a dehumidifier rod or something) would be asking for whatever you store to turn into a ball of rust. I don't have kids, so that particular excuse wasn't used on me. I did hear a similar ultimatum though. This would have been back in 07 or so. I was not then, and am still not, married, and, no, she never left, so YMMV. I personally wouldn't accept "I don't feel comfortable" as a reason. I'd be hitting back with "why don't you feel comfortable" and then designing solutions for those reasons.

But like they say, you can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. If she's got her back up because of "muh feels", I'm sorry but you might as well sell your shit and try again later. The best compromise you could probably find is in a friend's basement that is climate controlled. But trust is thin on the ground these days, and not without reason. And if you have another sprout, your time away from the guns will only get longer. My mother did something similar to my dad. It wasn't until I got my license and a safe that she said "Oh, if you get a safe, you can start shooting again". But you've already got the safe, so you've done what I would normally suggest.

This is very much a "what flavor of shit sandwich do you want to eat" problem.
 
milktree said:
One thing to consider is that maybe the wife's concerns are not complete ignorant hoplophobe crazyness. They might just be ignorance, or maybe there's stuff we're not considering.

Is he a flake? Does he have a habit of leaving the safe unlocked? Does he currently leave guns or gun stuff all over the house?

Even the best of us will, eventually, f*** up and forget to lock the safe, or leave ammo somewhere we shouldn't.

Those are legitimate concerns, not fabricated left wing propaganda.

How serious those risks are, and how those compare to the risks of cribs or cleaning products or stairs or electrical outlets is a completely valid topic of discussion.

We all have our built-in biases we get from our parents and friends and the media we consume. It's entirely possible there's some unreasonable fear that can be assuaged with knowledge.




That seems like a reasonable place to start.

But even in the case that he's not a moron and not a flake and doesn't leave stuff around by accident, there's the very real, however small, risk of lead poisoning. Lead is very, very bad for a fetus, infant, young child, etc. Bringing guns and gun stuff into the house increases that risk by more than zero. I don't mean the risk can't be mitigated, it just that it's a real, legitimate concern.

She might be a 10/10 in every other aspect, so a little compromise might be worth it. To be clear, when I say "compromise" I don't mean "give in", I mean "everyone gets something they want, just not 100% of what they want".
Click to expand...
Again...even if he does shit like that. Its a conversation....not as OP described "taking the hard line". If he's a flake and leaves shit all over the place she has a valid point to say.....if you don't cut that shit out when our kid is born, you'll have to store your guns elsewhere. That would be a 100% valid argument.

For his kids sake, and not even his wife's, he would get his head out of his ass I would think, if that was the case. NO parent wants their kid having a firearm accident with something they left out by accident. That's not an accident, thats stupidity. Again.....it would render down to a trust issue....she simply doesn't trust him.

But that's not what the OP said, she said no guns in the house no matter what....that's not the same thing that's not common sense.

10/10 in every other aspect but common sense....no thanks....aint gonna work in the long run unless your a doomat.
 
Broc said:
I disagree. The issue with lead dust is going to be with his shoes, pants, t-shirt, hands, all over his car... and his kid touching everything (floor, couches, car seat ...). That will happen regardless of where the guns are stored.
Click to expand...

Yes, this is true. She might not know that. Part of the discussion might be, "change your clothes before you come back in the house" or something similar. Maybe it's "range clothes" that go directly into the wash.

If you (one) know(s) (almost) nothing about guns, it's easy to conflate "guns in the house" with "lead in the house"


Broc said:
His guns are not the problem. The handguns and rifles go in a case and done. They are the least of the worries when it comes to lead.

If the issue is lead, the best solution is to take his shoes, pants and shirt off at the range, never touch his phone while shooting and clean his hands with wipes. Then vacuum his car every 2 or 3 weeks and never walk around the house wearing his range clothes.

The compromise in this situation is that he shoots less (assuming he actually goes to the range) and takes care of his kid. Giving up his guns is not a good compromise.
Click to expand...

Yep.
 
Coda said:
Right, as long as your wife is left out of it......

So what is the NES thread count you have to reach before people don't say nasty things about your wife??? Asking for a friend.......
Click to expand...
First off....OP aired it out.....that's opening it up to all the shitclowns on this forum. You get what you get, and your gonna get lots of get rid of the bitch, or dump her ass stuff. Yeah, thats not productive...

Secondly, telling someone they are not thinking in a common sense manner is not being nasty. Its being realistic.

I've told my wife at times when she was not thinking in a common sense manner on a subject, and proved it to her with examples and she's agreed, and she's also done the same with me, and brought me back to reality when I'm off base. Is wonderful and fun?....no, but there's nothing nasty about it as long as its respectful to both points of view and its a civil conversation.

And what is nice is at the end of the day....you realize if your wife has the humility to say...."yeah, you were right about that". And if you can do the same.......when you've been unreasonable about things......that probably means your relationship is in the right zip code.

Honestly, when she is right about something that I went off the rails on, when the smoke clears and we are out to dinner or something, I go out of my way to make a joke about it.....so she at least knows I validate her point. She has done the same with me as well. As we get older, we laugh at how retarded we are/were sometimes about stupid things from time to time.
 
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I realize that you're trying to solve a problem even if the person causing it is not being rational. Can you put the safe at a friend's house? If you choose to put the safe in a rental property, the landlord has access to the property but if you don't give him the combination, he doesn't have access to the contents of the safe. I'd contact a lawyer to be sure.
 
Broc said:
I disagree. The issue with lead dust is going to be with his shoes, pants, t-shirt, hands, all over his car... and his kid touching everything (floor, couches, car seat ...). That will happen regardless of where the guns are stored.

His guns are not the problem. The handguns and rifles go in a case and done. They are the least of the worries when it comes to lead.

If the issue is lead, the best solution is to take his shoes, pants and shirt off at the range, never touch his phone while shooting and clean his hands with wipes. Then vacuum his car every 2 or 3 weeks and never walk around the house wearing his range clothes.

The compromise in this situation is that he shoots less (assuming he actually goes to the range) and takes care of his kid. Giving up his guns is not a good compromise.
Click to expand...
This....though I never thought of lead as being an issue.......when my kids were born and young. I was too busy raising them, to buy guns, reload, or shoot that much. I had a few guns but just the basics to hunt and one pistol for self defense.

I took them shooting and introduced them to hunting and all that, but I was shooting/reloading and spending money on gun stuff like 1/100 of what I am now. Gun stuff wasn't even on my radar until they were at least 12 or so and I was done coaching all their sports and stuff, and my disposable income had risen enough to even think about it. I would have rather put the money into the house and mortgage payoff at the time and Im glad I did.
 
wcorey said:
Just playing devils advocate here...
Maybe the wifey has a valid point, maybe the op is historically a total fukk up and will inevitably leave the safe open or a loaded gun out on a table.
Most likely not but...

Also funny but I guess typical/inevitable here how long it took before someone simply answered the op's simple question before piling on...
Click to expand...
And it will be years before the lil guy can pull a mass complaint trigger though it’s travel!
 
wrt lead, I had that concern too when my guys were very little. My wife didn't even know there was lead involved tbh. But I always made a point to always use the de-lead soap at the range and then I'd make sure everything contaminated was removed, cleaned and secured properly prior to handling the baby.

But then again who hasn't used their teeth to bite down on a lead sinker on a fishing line every now and then...just me?
 
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DTSN72 said:
Long story short, we just had a kid and my wife wants my firearms out of the house. It's annoying, and I know y'all are going to say that it's time to trade in my wife, but really this is the only place we don't see eye to eye, so I'm trying to respect her wishes. She's always been super supportive of me in just about every way, but she's taking the hard line when it comes to guns in the house and a kid. Basically she said look, the second he's out of high school you can bring it all back and more, but while he's here I don't feel comfortable. It is what it is, so I'm trying to come up with a solve.

I rent a locked garage space from my neighbor literally 3 houses up and could easily move my safe up there. I'm curious though, I pay for that space month to month and do not have any type of lease. Would storing them there be kosher from a legal perspective and would I be under any obligation to inform the owner? Curious to get everyone's thoughts.

Thanks
Click to expand...

Everyone keeps saying "It's about trust."
No. No, it is not.

It is about control.
She obviously trusts you. Trusts you enough to marry you, trusts you enough to start a family with you, trusts you enough to forsake all others and vow to spend the rest of her life with you... as long as she can control you.
And trust me when I tell you, how you handle this issue, sets the tone for the rest of your life.

You absolutely have to dig your heels in on this issue and have some SELF RESPECT.
Tomorrow, I will celebrate my 33rd wedding anniversary and one key to a long marriage is mutual respect. Yes mutual. There will come a day that there is something that you totally disagree with her about, but it matters so much to her that you will show her the respect that she deserves, and you shall respect her wishes.

You BOTH have to know when to say "this is non negotiable, I am doing this, shut the f*** up."
These issues will vary in seriousness from " Do you really need a snowblower that expensive" to my recent favorite " You work part time and will retire in less than 10 years, does it really make sense to get your Masters Degree?" The answer to that was " This is very important to me and I put it off my whole life to raise our kids" STFU.

So. OP, you have to decide if this is one of those issues that is non negotiable. If it's not, it is your business. If it is, your marriage will survive. She might be mad for a while, but if she loves you, she is not going any where.
 
fencer said:
Everyone keeps saying "It's about trust."
No. No, it is not.

It is about control.
She obviously trusts you. Trusts you enough to marry you, trusts you enough to start a family with you, trusts you enough to forsake all others and vow to spend the rest of her life with you... as long as she can control you.
And trust me when I tell you, how you handle this issue, sets the tone for the rest of your life.

You absolutely have to dig your heels in on this issue and have some SELF RESPECT.
Tomorrow, I will celebrate my 33rd wedding anniversary and one key to a long marriage is mutual respect. Yes mutual. There will come a day that there is something that you totally disagree with her about, but it matters so much to her that you will show her the respect that she deserves, and you shall respect her wishes.

You BOTH have to know when to say "this is non negotiable, I am doing this, shut the f*** up."
These issues will vary in seriousness from " Do you really need a snowblower that expensive" to my recent favorite " You work part time and will retire in less than 10 years, does it really make sense to get your Masters Degree?" The answer to that was " This is very important to me and I put it off my whole life to raise our kids" STFU.

So. OP, you have to decide if this is one of those issues that is non negotiable. If it's not, it is your business. If it is, your marriage will survive. She might be mad for a while, but if she loves you, she is not going any where.
Click to expand...
Did you need the snowblower that expensive? What kind?
Congratulations on going for the masters. Nobody should ever stop learning. I'm 17 years in and I agree with you completely
 
Your wife is a new mother and her mind is probably wired differently at this point than before giving birth. This change took me a few minutes to really understand. In many ways, fathers are painted as helpless with kids - don't be this person. I suspect she is concerned about the increased likely hood of suicide or violence (accidental or not) if their is a gun in the house. To a large degree, these concerns can be valid and can be acknowledged in a non-defensive way. My wife and I both had a similar root concern when the kiddo was born. We had multiple long conversations about the big and small issues. The conversation brought us to a point where we could resolve a plan together. Suffice it to say everything is locked up in a safe or rather large roller heavy duty toolbox. You have time to work through these conversations - new borns are not going to find a gun around the house.

So what did the conversation look like? We discussed what led to previous issues in the news and how many aren't taught how to respect the damage a gun can do and safe practices from an early age. We also talked about the statistics about how many homes have guns in NH and in the US in general. More homes have guns than dogs - what does that mean for a sleep over or hanging out with a friend? We discussed previous negative experiences I have had, namely
1) when I was young, a friend (son of a police officer) liked to pull out a S&W chiefs special and play with it,
2) my folks didn't do the best job locking things up when I was a kid and I had more access than I should have,
3) a neighbor insisted on pointing a Browning Hipower at me when explaining how it worked to his niece before she took the State Trooper exam, and
4) in college I worked at a gun shop - a few times (over many years) a small subset of customers were scary idiots. The point is to acknowledge guns can be a real threat if we have them or not.
What really reduces the threat is teaching our son what the damage they can do, how to behave around them from a really early age, and how they work. As part of this, we don't believe in toy guns - guns aren't toys, they are potentially dangerous tools that absolutely need to be treated with respect at all times. This plan helped my wife understand that their is a real safety culture with guns and who I will socialize with while using a gun. I don't think she spent alot of time understanding the culture more than what say the news presents. I would also rather discuss guns with other parents and get an idea if friends parents are safe.

My son has been exposed to guns - the point of the exposure has been to
1) take the magic out of guns - he can see/handle them when he wants on his timeline. When he asks, I will almost always drop what I'm doing to show him what he wants to see/handle,
2) He also understands that I (as his dad) need to be present when ever a gun is present (or seek another adult if I'm not present),
3) ensure he understands gun safety (verify the gun is empty, finger off the trigger, don't point at anything you don't want to destroy), and
4) let him enjoy guns in a constructive way. We implement these rules if handling at home or exploring the gun store; he really likes the gun store - probably in part because they give him stickers lol. Interesting tangent - he really likes revolvers way more than I do.

My wife and I still talk about guns/shooting based on the evolution of the topic. In years past, my son has not wanted to physically shoot a gun - he verbally expressed he didn't feel ready to shoot. I absolutely respected his posistion on the topic. He and I also discussed what he was comfortable with - he really enjoys looking at them, lining up the sites, operating the action (as physically possible for him), and dry firing (again as he is physically possible). A few weeks ago he expressed an interest in shooting a gun next summer. My wife and I have already started discussing it - she wasn't overly thrilled going into the initial discussion. We discussed a really specific plan - he will only shoot the 22 rifle until big enough to handle a 22 pistol. We are going to start with the rifle in the range sled (he isn't really big enough to shoulder the rifle yet), it is a simple bolt rifle - one round at a time, and I won't be shooting during the first few range visits so my focus is entirely on him.

Obviously everyone is different, but the big picture safety focus is what won her over. In many ways your kiddo could be in more danger if not exposed in a safe way at an early age. Acknowledge real risks and get on the same page about how to resolve.
 
puška m70 said:
Her position is completely ridiculous and irrational.

You have a burglar-resistant steel safe for your guns. What is her concern? Is a gun going to grow two legs, load itself and start shooting at people? It's literally an inanimate object in a safe.
Click to expand...
According to the gun nazis, it happens all the time.
 
Marty McFly said:
Did you need the snowblower that expensive? What kind?
Congratulations on going for the masters. Nobody should ever stop learning. I'm 17 years in and I agree with you completely
Click to expand...
I swear, we bought the house in June and I told her I was going out to buy a snowblower and she said " Why do you need a snow blower. We always just shoveled it when I was a kid?"
I told her I would buy her any shovel she wanted and she could deal with it. This is my driveway. About 250' and steep.
Home 13022.jpg
 
fencer said:
I swear, we bought the house in June and I told her I was going out to buy a snowblower and she said " Why do you need a snow blower. We always just shoveled it when I was a kid?"
I told her I would buy her any shovel she wanted and she could deal with it. This is my driveway. About 250' and steep.
View attachment 835446
Click to expand...
You must be slipping most NES'rs would have a man to handle the little things like snow blowing while we went to the range or just imbibed with a cigar and cocktail watching our man Friday freeze his butt off snow blowing.
 
fencer said:
Everyone keeps saying "It's about trust."
No. No, it is not.

It is about control.
She obviously trusts you. Trusts you enough to marry you, trusts you enough to start a family with you, trusts you enough to forsake all others and vow to spend the rest of her life with you... as long as she can control you.
And trust me when I tell you, how you handle this issue, sets the tone for the rest of your life.

You absolutely have to dig your heels in on this issue and have some SELF RESPECT.
Tomorrow, I will celebrate my 33rd wedding anniversary and one key to a long marriage is mutual respect. Yes mutual. There will come a day that there is something that you totally disagree with her about, but it matters so much to her that you will show her the respect that she deserves, and you shall respect her wishes.

You BOTH have to know when to say "this is non negotiable, I am doing this, shut the f*** up."
These issues will vary in seriousness from " Do you really need a snowblower that expensive" to my recent favorite " You work part time and will retire in less than 10 years, does it really make sense to get your Masters Degree?" The answer to that was " This is very important to me and I put it off my whole life to raise our kids" STFU.

So. OP, you have to decide if this is one of those issues that is non negotiable. If it's not, it is your business. If it is, your marriage will survive. She might be mad for a while, but if she loves you, she is not going any where.
Click to expand...
I hope she at least picked some cheap Masters program.
 
fencer said:
I swear, we bought the house in June and I told her I was going out to buy a snowblower and she said " Why do you need a snow blower. We always just shoveled it when I was a kid?"
I told her I would buy her any shovel she wanted and she could deal with it. This is my driveway. About 250' and steep.
View attachment 835446
Click to expand...
I can see why that snowblower later turned into a tractor!
 
fencer said:
I swear, we bought the house in June and I told her I was going out to buy a snowblower and she said " Why do you need a snow blower. We always just shoveled it when I was a kid?"
I told her I would buy her any shovel she wanted and she could deal with it. This is my driveway. About 250' and steep.
View attachment 835446
Click to expand...
If you now got a tractor, good on you! Starting out, I would have bought 3 snowblowers! One for me, one for the misses and one as a spare in case we had a breakdown. :cool:
 
Grow a set, be a man and lead your household. I don't mean that as a joke either, I am 100% serious. Your her husband and a father to a child. It's your responsibility to provide for them and keep them safe.

She is not in a normal state of mind right now if you guys just had a kid. My wife was having post partum issues after we had our son. She is one of the more rational people you will ever meet and is totally back to her self now. She never put any ultimatums like this on me but she certainly wasn't herself for a few months. Hopefully this kind of thing is out of character for her. If it isn't then you have bigger fish to fry.

Best of luck.
 
robjax said:
Every six months or so I out myself to my wife about all the new guns I got that she didn’t know about.

Then I tell her to make dinner.

She usually tells me to go eff myself but she does make dinner.

😆
Click to expand...
We got a new cat... my wife didn't want the cat

She sais when i leave in a few days shes kicking the cat out

I told her she should still make friends with the cat because if i get home and the cat isnt here shes gonna get kicked out too...and she cant afford a place to live on a teachers salary.

Sometimes you just gotta put your foot down
 

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