secret guns

I tell her I'm going to the range, leave with one empty gun case, and come home with one more gun than I left with.

This worked great for about 5 years, when she said, "what's the combo for this safe? I have some jewelry I want to put away"

Uh oh.... walked over to the safe (a 28 long gun safe) and opened it for her. "Hmmm, I don't remember there being this many guns. What about this safe over here?"

"Uhhhhhhh, that one's pretty full too."

"Oh, ok, I guess I need a jewelry safe"

"Yeah, that would probably be best, because of you know.....uhm.....solvents and stuff"

Now she has a jewelry safe that's probably going fill up all by itself without me noticing.
 
Here is the definitive article on Running Guns Past Your Wife. It's by the hilarious outdoors writer Patrick F. McManus (1984) .

From the article:
* Get an expandable gun cabinet so no matter how many guns you have, there are 3 empty slots at the end.
* Give the gun to a trused friend. Have him stop by one night thanking you for loaning it to him for the season.
* Bring it home in pieces. Each time tell your wife about the cool parts you found on the gunsmith's junk table.

Most important!!!! Never let her get an accurate count. So long as you have "all those guns" you are OK. If "all those" turns into a number, you are screwed.
 
i just picked up a 10/22 for our son as a gift, told her the real price and she couldnt believe how expensive long guns are to hand guns........
 
Whenever I sensed this topic coming up, I quickly changed it to 'Is that another pair of black shoes?' She doesn't seem to ask anymore.

I also use the 'This $1300 gun was marked down from $1500 to $1475, I had to grab it before someone else did!' Somehow this logic seems to make sense to her.

She is also in support of owning an 'arsenal' (by MA standards of course) and has shot most of them.
 
Why hide the value of the gun from your spouse? I tell her the real price. If I get into accident today, she at lease can sold the gun more than $50 a piece.

Sent from my Tinfoil hat
 
dgrantdoherty said:
anyone have guns that they are afraid to tell the wife about?
im up to two.....
any tips?
Click to expand...

Not any more. Got rid of the wife. The fiancee, however... I lost my stainless steel Colt Officer's ACP to her. After engraving a diamond ring and the words "Will you marry me?" on the slide. [smile]

Let me give you an example: Spotted a pristine Colt Jr on 802 Guns & Ammo for sale, but I couldn't get to the guy until the weekend... and he told me that there were two other guys looking to get to him on the weekend. So Thursday Alix went to meet the guy and bought the mouse gun for me. Obviously, she KNOWS what I paid for it.

I love her and it's so wonderful to NOT worry about having to hide what I have! I cannot imagine going back to the way I was with my ex.

exodious said:
I feel bad for folks who have to hide the extent of their hobby from their wives. Then I feel good because my wife doesn't care so long as the bills get paid. [grin]
Click to expand...

You, Sir, are a lucky man. Not as lucky as me, because I get to share my guns with a wonderful girl, but you're still lucky. Cherish that woman!

File this under #HappyDwarf.

- - - Updated - - -

richc said:
When she accidentally saw the .50 BMG there was a WTF moment at our house...
Click to expand...

Heh. Mine would be like "Why didn't you tell me we had that? When are we going to shoot it? [smile]
 
exodious said:
I feel bad for folks who have to hide the extent of their hobby from their wives. Then I feel good because my wife doesn't care so long as the bills get paid. [grin]
Click to expand...

this.

lady atilla never complains when i come home with a present for her, either.

the last time she was gifted a gun, there was a chocolate bar on top of it inside the gift bag. [laugh]
 
atilla said:
the last time she was gifted a gun, there was a chocolate bar on top of it inside the gift bag. [laugh]
Click to expand...

Ooo, good idea. I don't give her guns, though... 'cause I don't know what she'll like or not until I see her with it. Now, if she says, for example, "Hey, want a new hunting rifle in 30-06" and I see a sporterized Eddystone on FB, I'll ask her if she wants it.

She did. [wink]
 
Back in the early 1970s, dad bought a WWII commemorative, nickle plated Colt 1911. I think he paid around $750 for it. Mom was always careful with money, so there was no way he could spend that much without her knowledge. He took out a personal loan from the bank and paid it off over the next few years by skimming from his "allowance". He almost got away with it until the bank sent a thank-you card.
 
I hide nothing from my wife. She hides nothing from me. There's no need to do it as we both buy whatever we want.

More than once she said you need to buy that so it stays in Massachusetts. That was a pistol team party.
I will say she has good taste in guns and wants to shoot more.
 
I heard someone say "before I die,I'm going to have to tell my wife to sell my guns for what they're worth, and not what I told her I paid for them!" That about sums it up for me
 
Ben Cartwright SASS said:
I went to Florida and bought a Mosin Sniper there on my C&R when it showed up via the Post Office, the wife said what's this? I said I had it for years and sent it to the gunsmith while I was on the trip and he was just sending it back!

I also carry empty gun cases to the car when I go to a show and say I am going to try to sell a gun and then one one wanted to buy it when I come back with one
Click to expand...
brilliant!
 
Duh! Most of them... ;)

dgrantdoherty said:
anyone have guns that they are afraid to tell the wife about?
im up to two.....
any tips?
Click to expand...



Sent from my Galaxy S4 using Tapatalk Pro - typos are from the GD auto correct unless they are funny substitutions those I'll take credit for.
 
My wife is more suspicious of how much ammunition I have. Everytime I buy another lockable rubbermaid bin, or I get a heavy package delivered she asks how much ammo I really need. I always tell her I only buy on when I get a good deal.
 
My wife enjoys shooting a lot. But she has no clue.

A CMP Garand arrived at my house today. She got it from the UPS guy. When I came down she said to me, "I think the gun you sent off to Smith and Wesson to get repaired just came back."

Bless her soul.
 
380usta said:
When my girlfriend drops 500-1k on a purse or a pair of shoes and says its an investment. I say good! So is this 900$ 1911!
Click to expand...

The difference is that most guns hold nearly 100% of their value, and some eventually appreciate over purchase price, while purses and especially shoes do not, so you are actually more honest in that comparison.
 
I don't think my wife has ever seen the inside of my safe(s). She could care less and has no interest.
She's gone to the range with me a couple of times and shot a few but not into it.
With three kids in multiple sports year round, my guns and the range are not on her radar which is okay with me....
Maybe when the kids are older she'll pay more attention and become interested.
Truck...garage...basement....into safe...all secure and cozy with no one the wiser...[grin]
 

Similar threads

Cleaning your guns
2 3
Replies
66
Views
2K
Buck F
Buck F
Correct way to get guns back from police?
Replies
16
Views
710
appraiser
appraiser
I can't seem to win with my guns lately
Replies
7
Views
323
Uzi2
U
Migrants can carry guns
Replies
23
Views
727
KBCraig
KBCraig
Incels with guns
2
Replies
36
Views
1K
chris_1001
chris_1001
Back
Top Bottom