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So if I understand you correctly the redaction should not have been done on these documents?
What I am saying is that redaction is suspect. Given the context of the preceding half of the sentence, the second half appears to be an opinion of Sgt. Haggerty's re: the law and given the length of the redaction, a justification for said opinion. The form's changes by that point had been made public and therefore are post deliberative, to the extent that exemption even covers inter agency communication without a nexus to an elected official. Additionally, Sgt Haggerty's email does not appear to be covered by the exemption for law enforcement documents as it is not related to a specific investigation nor does it appear to discuss investigative techniques.
Given I can't actually see what the redaction says, I can't say for sure but smells like 3 days old rotten fish from this vantage point.