How far do we go to help our neighbors?

[excoastie]

Recently, our neighborhood has met with a few natural disasters. First, we got hit by a tornado. It did a fair amount of damage to the area, blocked roads and put holes in people’s homes. No one in the neighborhood was prepared for such an event. So, when they need ‘stuff’ (traps, ropes, etc) they came to my house to get their needs met. I had everything they needed and plenty extra so I ‘loaned’ them my goods. Of course, no tarps made their way back to my home. Not one inch of rope made it home. Nothing I ‘loaned’ out made its way home. So, I lost a fair amount of money during this tornado. All items have been replaced, and then some. The fact that they kept my stuff does not upset me, be it does make me think about my neighbors.

Then we suffered torrential rains a lot and our little hill became an ‘island’ for a short time. Although no one needed help to survive, I know that no one around these parts was ready for any major disruption of their lives.

Recent the snow storm knocked out power to the neighborhood for eight days. Who was ready for it? Right, only our home was ready. So, we opened our freezer to all the neighborhoods so their food would not spoil. Most of the people went to stay with family and the ones that didn’t were very unhappy. Meanwhile, the wife and I had power, food, coffee, lights, etc. We barely missed a beat.

So, after my daughter asked for a bug out bag for Christmas (see other thread) I was happy that she had caught on to being prepared. As the neighbors spoke about the ‘horrors’ that hit the street and how thankful they were that we helped out, I wondered if they think that I will always give them what they need whenever they find themselves in trouble. Now I warned them that they needed to be prepared, too, because I wasn’t going to help them forever. But I don’t believe they took me seriously. They always half-jokingly say that they are coming over to my house. I always reply with a totally serious “no you are not”.

Some of them are finally starting to think about being prepared. They ask what they need to store, have on hand, etc. Even though I share the necessary information with them, I don’t think that they are really taking any action to prepare their households for the inevitable tough times. So my question to all you folks is: How far does one go to help their neighbors in their time of need? I ask this especially because they have had three incidences showing them that they are not prepared. So, how far do we go before we draw the line?

 

[andyc4728]

You can only do so much.

Some of your neighbors will figure out they need to have equipment/supplies for themselves, and some will always expect others to provide for them in their time of need. The latter group will probably be nothing but a drag on you.

This has been a rough year weather wise and I've dealt with the same storms you have (though we didn't have any direct impact from the tornado several of my friends and family did). 6 days without power was great to sort out who had some clue in the neighborhood.

I've loaned out stuff to neighbors and seen it returned with dings or substantial usage without comment or follow-up. I just take it in stride, I'm happy to help anyone once or possibly even twice, but then they have to fend for themselves.

 

[RichM]

... Add heavy duty doors, security window film, and sturdy locks to your home! Sooner or later, those that find out that you're the only ones prepared will not be so friendly!

If you do want to help others, start with offering to sell your hand-me-downs... items getting closer to their expiration, or nearing the end of their useful lives... or start them out with an empty BOB with the list inside... "Here's how I started."

 

[namedpipes]

I have one neighbor I like. She can hang with us. The rest will just have to fend for themselves. The fact that the girl in question is "smoking" has nothing to do with it.

 

[Fixxah]

Barrel's end will tell them you're serious without so much as opening your mouth.

Live and learn.

Sent from the Hyundai of the droids, the Samsung Replenish, using Tapatalk.

 

[el duderino]

If they come looking for supplies, tell them they still have them from last time you loaned them supplies.

 

[StephenR]

I'd make them a list of things they need followed by a list of things not returned and drop it off to all your neighbors

 

[PATRON]

You never know what will happen next and how long your food will last so it is very important to keep the live stock.I mean the neighbors happy and well fed.

 

[namedpipes]

You never know what will happen next and how long your food will last so it is very important to keep the live stock.I mean the neighbors happy and well fed.

You make a good point.

 

[FrugalFannie]

Folks who can't take care of things themselves I help. My 83 year old neighbor gets a visit every time it snows or we lose power or whatever. I make sure she has what she needs and I know she has friends who can and will come get her if she gets uncomfortable enough (some people won't evacuate until they are VERY uncomfortable) but she knows she is always welcome and I will send my husband to get her if we feel she needs to be taken in. We clear her snow if her regular guy (a friend) is unable and she has other neighbors who help too. If people are capable of caring for themselves and refuse to prepare I don't help. BTW, the 83 year old made sure she returned our battery operated lantern to us with new batteries once her power came back. I think I have one more shopping trip to make before Christmas (a new battery operated lantern for the neighbor).

I certainly wouldn't continue to help those who borrowed things and never returned them and/or thanked me.

 

[Palladin]

During the ice storm I powered the houses on either side of us, both good families, both are into guns. After powering them for 5 days, they returned the favor with a $100 gift card and a $100 bottle of scotch! Lesson learned? nope. During the August and Halloween outages neither had power, etc again, one of them came to me and I energized their house. Again, showing appreciation with a gift card...I have no problem with this.
The one that really gets me are the people who bought generators after the last storm, but have yet to wire them to serve their houses...The guy across the street still has his in the box! never opened!! When power goes out again, my phone will ring and he will expect me to run right over and hook it up. He'll be in for a surprise.
I installed a 7kw standby unit for a guy last weekend, generator, gas work, electrical work....$3800.
He is thrilled, it's a bargain. But to the original question....there are very few I'd give up my food/shelter to, and they are the ones who are like minded and armed.

 

[Jamie]

Wow, I guess I'm lucky with the neighbor I have. The Halloween snow storm killed our power for 3 days, but our neighbor had his service ripped off the house and was without for 8. We loaned a bunch of stuff to them, including our spare generator. Everything was returned in the same or better condition and the generator was left full of gas and with a few quarts of oil for an oil change. They also got me a $50 gift card for Lowe's.

Our other neighbor (that is very antisocial and doesn't even wave) sat in the dark for 3 days, hauled in water every day, and threw away 2 huge bags of spoiled food in the end. I don't think they're going to fare well if we have a real emergency.

 

[richc]

One of our neighbors has said she's heading to our house when the SHTF.

Here's the thing. We've been neighbors for over 15 years. I've been in their house one time, and that was accidental. I've not been invited to any of their lavish parties. They don't stop by and shoot the shit. Even when driving by they just wave and keep on their merry way.

Now this doesn't trouble me at all. I'm not fond of most of my neighbors, actually. Most of them think their shit don't stink. But the notion that I'll open my doors with welcoming arms in any sort of disaster is just wrong.

You can't have it both ways.

So I'll continue on my preparations. I'll take care of those that I care about. And the rest will have to make do with their own level or preparedness...

FYI in the October storm a good friend from NES lost his power. I offered up my spare generator. He refused at first, toughing it out and expecting the power to come back at any moment. But in the end he did borrow it, and returned it in very short order in exactly the same shape as he got it. I've come to learn that is the character of many, if not most, here on NES. They get it, and that's the ultimate compliment in my book.

 

[richc]

You never know what will happen next and how long your food will last so it is very important to keep the live stock.I mean the neighbors happy and well fed.

I thought you were on a diet???

 

[HTRN]

One of our neighbors has said she's heading to our house when the SHTF.

Here's the thing. We've been neighbors for over 15 years. I've been in their house one time, and that was accidental. I've not been invited to any of their lavish parties. They don't stop by and shoot the shit. Even when driving by they just wave and keep on their merry way.

Now this doesn't trouble me at all. I'm not fond of most of my neighbors, actually. Most of them think their shit don't stink. But the notion that I'll open my doors with welcoming arms in any sort of disaster is just wrong.

You can't have it both ways.

So I'll continue on my preparations. I'll take care of those that I care about. And the rest will have to make do with their own level or preparedness...

FYI in the October storm a good friend from NES lost his power. I offered up my spare generator. He refused at first, toughing it out and expecting the power to come back at any moment. But in the end he did borrow it, and returned it in very short order in exactly the same shape as he got it. I've come to learn that is the character of many, if not most, here on NES. They get it, and that's the ultimate compliment in my book.

I would still help without expecting anything in return. (Is like our KARMAs here) I would stop at the point that I beleive the safety of family may be compromised.

 

[Rancho]

it's give and take at our place. one of my neighbors that I am friendliest with he and I share he brews beer and we both have prepared for most disasters together. Usually when the disasters hit we are ready to go and have power food and heat (i have the wood stove he hooks up to his furnace) a few of the others are prepared also but the older woman next to us we check on every time and usually hook up her sump pump to our generator. beyond these two neighbors no one bothers us for help but I would like some of you may have said limit the amount of help I would extend to those that I do not know well. I usually help people and expect nothing in return..

 

[gixxer_kid]

Opsec.... You breached it. My neighbors don't know shit. Well most of them. Out of my 12 neighbors 4 know and that's because we are all equally equipped and prepared. We go shooting every weekend and can always be found in one of our garages. The sad truth is that given the right situation people will begin to remind one another that we are animals and those animal instincts will kick in. Remember the nice guy finishes last. Worry and take care of you and yours.

sent from modded EVO

 

[CrackPot]

Day two of the October storm a totally unprepared neighbor stopped by at 8am and asked if she could use our stove to cook her morning bacon.

This was so disconnected to reality on so many levels. Yes, I have a generator. No the electric stove is not one of the essential things connected to it. Bacon? Really? You are sitting in the dark and cold and you stop by to cook bacon?

I did not even know where to start with her. Go buy a Coleman camp stove. Get a clue...

 

[glostamon]

If people are capable of caring for themselves and refuse to prepare I don't help.

This.
Several people in my neighborhood are chronically unemployed or on some form of housing /assistance and/or just plain lazy,I help them with my tax dollars everyday,WTSHTF they're on there own for once.

Lethargic people make me nauseous,I'll offer them no assistence because its too much work.

 

[Rider]

It's hard to say how you'll respond in a more permanent situation where you don't expect to have normalcy return in a few days. You also have to deal with what happens if you initially think normalcy will return, but after a few days you realize that this isn't the case, and have to change your strategy accordingly. The people you have taken in or are helping will not be happy when you try to turn them out because they contribute nothing to the group's survival. I am pretty well known to be maniacal about lending things out. If I don't get something back, I will come looking for it. If your neighbors think the stuff you lent them is consumable, it could be an honest mistake, but it sounds like they are mostly clueless.

I am in a similar situation to many of you. Although I don't talk about whatever preps I may have in place, my joking about zombies has many acquaintances(mostly from work) joking about coming to my house if it all comes apart. They live in this fantasy land where I have a hardened bunker in my basement and am armed to the teeth. Other than assuring them none of this is true, I do mention that if they believe it, then it would be a critical strategic error on their part to come over. Funny thing is, a lot of my co-workers, and these are finance people, do have generators, some food stores, and in some cases guns(though this is not talked about much due to the workplace), but they are not preppers per se. A couple even have bug out bags in case of regular emergency.

That said, it is hard to know how to handle neighbor situations. I am reasonably friendly with most of my neighbors, and help them out most of the time when they ask, or offer if they look like they need help. Pretty much same as Rancho, I help because I can. However I only have one neighbor with whom I regularly exchange tools, real help with things like snow shoveling, etc. I could probably depend on him.

 

[mark056]

Well as we continue our dissolution of society, there will be many tragedies and people will have to turn their backs on long time friends and neighbors as self-preservation and preservation of family and loved ones becomes the highest priority. The fabric that holds us together is really quite thin and in 2011 rather frayed.

The sense of entitlement that your neighbors have is merely a microcosm of society in general. In the end, you will owe them nothing. They had the same opportunities to prepare as you did, and like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand, chose to do nothing.

Oh it will be tough when you see your neighbor's three year old daughter slowing dying from malnutrition, and many will hate and despise you, but all I can say is welcome to the human condition that has existed since the beginning of our species and has only changed in the past several centuries in the West, and is still the norm in many parts of the world.

 

[hmburgers]

No one in the neighborhood was prepared for such an event. So, when they need ‘stuff’ (traps, ropes, etc) they came to my house to get their needs met. I had everything they needed and plenty extra so I ‘loaned’ them my goods.

...I don't have a problem with loaning things out to my neighbors when they need it... it's part of being a decent person.

Of course, no tarps made their way back to my home. Not one inch of rope made it home. Nothing I ‘loaned’ out made its way home.

Now I'd have a problem...

If you borrow something, whether durable or consumable, it ought to be returned or replaced, that's just common courtesy. The fact that these neighbors have not either returned your items, replaced what they used, or at least given you cash for you to replace stuff is not good... sounds like they already treat you like the local branch of FEMA and expect free supplies and materials. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Now you're potentially stuck in the unenviable position of being the "Monster of Maple Street" when the SHTF next time and your neighbors come begging but you keep your door shut.

I'm somewhat fortunate--I live in a relatively dense neighborhood, but everyone keeps to themselves in this regard. An abutting neighbor is a well stocked and tooled older guy, he's very generous, constantly offering to loan me items... I've declined 99 out of 100 times in favor of using what I have or buying my own. It's not that I don't appreciate it, it's that if I need something I want to know that it's mine to use, abuse, lose, etc and that I don't have to beg a neighbor.

 

[Jude Thaddeus]

Reminds me of the story of the ant and grasshopper. Seeing I recently moved, I know none of my neighbors. I am making an educated guess based on observations that they are the grasshoppers while I am the ant. Pity that when any sort of disaster strikes, these people are ill prepared. Although, they have the same opportunity that I have to make preparations. I can't say I would help them. Of course, this could change based on circumstances.

 

[In God We Trust]

If it is a local emergecy like a blizzard, flood, ect. I would help the couple of neighbors I talk with. I would also use it as a teachable moment about being prepared. For a long term even (nuclear holocaust, zombies, 2012) they are on their own. I would ignore door knockers and respond to more aggressive people appropriately.

People just can't be convinced that the world as we know it is never going to change.

 

[Finalygotabeltfed]

View attachment 23211 People who remain in this position after their first encounter with calamity do not deserve the help of benevolent people.

Get your stuff back before you give out another thing. Your neighbors are playing you for a sucker and when push really comes to shove, you will be despised and they will steal what you have to satisfy their own greed and sense of entitlement.

 

[garandman]

Have you tried asking for them back? I loaned a guy a $50 tool once and he lost it. I reminded his wife three years later and got a check in the mail for $55. the day after - he'd just flat forgotten.

It's only fair they make you whole again.

 

[whatluck]

A lot of my friends have mentioned that they'd just come to my house. I tell them that if they show up empty handed, you'll be turned away. Don't just bring a case of water and some cans of food. Bring me a Poland Springs truck and you'll be let in.

 

[StephenR]

Pleasantly remind them that winter is here and you would like to be prepared in case people need help again so if you could get your items back you would appreciate it. They probably forgot. And hand them a list of things they should have.

 

[Coyote33]

Next time you see them, tell them you would like your stuff back. Also ask them if they got a freezer yet. If not, give them a recommendation. Tell them yours is pretty full "in case of emergency", so you have no room for next time around.

 

[MisterHappy]

If the going gets tough, it will be back to "My cousin and me aginst my neighbor; my brother and me against my cousin."

I'm sure that the "borrowers" have no intention of returning the tarps, as that would require thoughtfulness and planning. And, from the OP, it seems that they're not strong in either.

The majority of the people will not think about a "worst case scenario" more distressing than losing cable for half a day, or, god forbid, the interwebs. If the recent surprises (the water main break in Weston, Irene, and the October snow ) have not given them a kick in the pants....your thoughtful suggestions are not going to do it.