The other thing that nobody has seemed to discuss so far is the choice of 231 to build a 9mm load. The Speer manual (I'm using No. 12) shows 231 as the "worst" of the 16 different powders listed - I'm defining "worst" here in the sense that the maximum load (in terms of velocity) it allows you to develop is far below what can be achieved with that cartridge and that bullet weight.
Here's what's going on: all cartridges have a maximum allowable working pressure established by SAAMI - for the 9mm Luger that happens to be 35,000 psi. When the Speer folks tested 231 with that bullet in their pressure gun they reached the max pressure of 35,000 psi with 4.5 gr, so that's what they list as max, even though it results in a rather anemic 998 fps of velocity. The problem is that 231 is too fast burning to be efficient in the 9mm - it reaches max pressure too quickly, before it can really accelerate the bullet. (Doesn't mean it's not a great powder for other applications, by the way - my Walther GSP .32 S&W absolutely loves 1.8 gr of 231 under a 98 gr wadcutter.) It's the velocity of the bullet (all things being equal) that determines recoil - not the pressure, so that's why you've experienced cycling problems and low felt recoil.
The solution? Switch to a better powder for that cartridge/bullet combination. The starting loads for (for example) the slower-burning HS-7 and Blue Dot both achieve muzzle velocities in excess of 1100 fps - about 10% more than the maximum load of 231. And since the formula for free recoil is non-linear, the incremental effect on cycling and felt recoil will be greater than that. Note that you may or may not get the same velocities in your gun, but the relative differences should be similar.
Whenever I'm working up a new load I always try to start with the powder that will give me the maximum performance - if I can get to the max listed load safely (usually the case) and with the accuracy I'm expecting then fine, if not I work down to the next powder on the list. I don't think I've ever bothered with a powder that wasn't among the top 3 or 4 listed for a particular cartridge/bullet combination.