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Funny Hunting Stories: Post Them Here

May 2, 2005
Feedback: 6 / 0 / 0
Ok I'll start...
I'll share a funny story about last year...
I went out with my girlfriends father during shotgun season. The place he took me was out in western MA. We were walking along this long stone wall, he points down past the wall, and tells me, "There's a big swamp through there, I'm gonna go around the backside of the swamp and right back up through the middle, find a good place near this wall, I'll see if I can't push anything out to you" So I found this sweet spot on the wall, there was a small trail leading right down into the swamp. I walked down the trail just far enough to see a nice scrape on the ground. I figured if anything starts coming up from the swamp, it will probably use this trail. Back up to the wall I go... I found a spot, right at the end of the trail that had a pine branch that had fallen mostly on the wall. It was perfect cover, I had a great view of the trail, and was covered on all sides. So I plop my ass down on the wall, with my gun at the ready (muzzle in a safe direction, finger off trigger, and safety on) but ready to take bead on Bambi. I'm sitting perfectly still, just listening to the sounds. I hear something to my right REAL close. I turned my head very slowly only to find a damn squirrel hadn't noticed that I was sitting there, and decided to plop his ass down right next to me and start munching on a pine cone. I thought WOW I must have been not moving at all... So I sat there for a minute trying to figure out something funny to do to the unsuspecting squirrel. I lowered my right hand slowly and then at once made a grab for the squirrel. Now I didn't think in a million years I would have been anywhere near quick enough, let alone have enough dexterity in my heavily gloved hand to catch that little tree rat, but I'll be damned if I didn't grab that little bastard right by the scruff of his neck! I moved him in front of me and all at once I showed my teeth and growled at him loudly and put him down... MAN that thing was up the tree faster than I have ever seen one move! He went about 12 feet up turned upside down and started making that screeching noise they do and breathing so heavily I could see his body expanding and contracting!!! I must have scared him shitless! :D :D :D

That's the only creature I caught that day, but man it was funny!!!

At least I amused myself!

Good thing that you had the gloves and that you managed to catch him exactly where you did. I was at Yosemite one year and watched some middle aged urban clown sneak up on a couple of chipmunks and somehow manage to grab them. I guess everything he know about chipmunks he had learned from watching Chip n' Dale cartoons. Well, he almost instantly got a new lesson. He dropped them both and started screaming, flailing his arms around and flinging blood on everything near him.

Logic 101:
All rodents have teeth;
Chipmunks are rodents,
Therefore, chipmunks have teeth.

And... A normal BB fired from my CO2 pistol will make them actually fly about 3 feet when hit...

Just thought you might like to know.

Well this looks like a good place to deposit my first post.
Nov. 9 1990 my brother n I were hunting a big piece of woods here in Maine. The night before we had homemade chile cooked on the woodstove
at camp. Needless to say I came down w/a bad case of cramps At about 7:30 the next am in the middle of a clearcut. (something about crawling over trees n slash that helps get things moving) So I'm looking around for a good tree to sit over ,well i found it pulled my pants down and an explosion quickly followed. Well glad thats over **** I forgot my ass paper back at camp ,so I sacrificed my favorite Pink Floyd tee shirt cut it up w/ my knife and used that. Well I put what was left of my wardrobe back on got my AK took about 10 steps and a beatiful 7 pointer comes out broadside @ 35 yards pow he goes down in a heap. my brother had jumped him 100 yds to my left and the buck circled to get his wind. my gastro distress delayed my progress enough to put the buck in my path.
I think it was about 1995 I was home on leave and I went duck hunting in northern Minnesota with my father and a couple of my uncles. We were in a swamp where
the water was waist deep and the muck went up to your knees when you walked through
the water. I had just shot a Mallard that had landed about 50 meters in the middle of the swamp.

I wanted to retrieve it quickly because my father was calling flock after flock in. He
told me to make it quick. I took my 12 gauge with me just incase something came in
when I was on the retrieve. I made my way out of the boat and preceded to lumber my way through the very rough muck. While I was fighting my way to the bird a shell had
fallen out of my vest and down inside my chest waders and ended up on the top of my foot inside the boot.

I said to myself “You gotta be shitting me!” Every step from that point on felt like I had a knife stabbing my foot. The thick muck and heavy water only made the pressure worse.
I tried getting my hand down there but I couldn’t keep my balance with my shotgun in the other hand and waist deep water. So there I was 25 meters out in the middle of this shit hole slu and it hurt like hell to move. Then of course here come the ducks, my father calls them in from the right. The gang unloads to the right of me and I have ducks splashing down right next to me.

Everybody is yelling at me to grab all the ducks, I’m moving as fast as I can, which was slow as hell, and about 30 minutes later I come back with a swollen foot, 4 very heavy mallards, and a dry mouth from using every cuss word in the book along the way. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I was to be crawling back in to that boat. :?
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