Adoption

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Has anybody gone through the Adoption/ foster care processes? Does being a firearm owner make it more difficult. If you dont feel comfortable talking about this in the open please PM me.
 
One of my coworkers (whom I have assisted with a ton of her and her husbands adoption woes) was given an incredibly hard time about firearms in the home. They had to relocated to both my house and their parents house based on space. All this despite the fact that BOTH members of this household had their LTC. I'm not sure if this is a singular experience, but that is an experience.
That being said the amount of time I have spent helping them is entirely due to the process of going through foster and adoption being exceedingly ruthless and backwards in nature. The parents who lost custody of this child (6 years old) twice now due to drugs still flow in and out of the picture and are constantly a reason that they are back in court and fighting some new battle for visitation despite the fact that daddy is also a legal sex offender. I will say the courts and DCS (though some members might be) are overall not on your side if you choose this route. They love their little girl for the year and a half they have had her now and wouldn't change a thing, but have said that if they had to do it again, they wouldn't.
Best of luck to you and if you have more questions I'll gladly answer because while not directly having adopted I have had way more experience with assisting them than I ever thought I would.
 
Grab them at 17 or 18. DCF doesn't care. LOL. (Been there, done that, got a 4th kid out of it.)

I know gun owners who have been foster folks. I'm not sure it comes up as significant.
 
I went through it 7 years ago, as KVX linked to it. It all depends on your case worker in regards to firearms. They have their own rules that are not necessarily the law. Best bet is remove them from the home until the adoption is final. Second best is jump through whatever hoops they throw at you. Ridiculous things, guns and ammo stored in separate rooms, etc.

Whatever you do, it's the best thing you'll ever do, just plug your nose and get through it. I don't regret one second ofthe garbage we went through to get our amazing son. PM me if I can answer any questions or if you need to vent about whatever they put you through.

One piece of advice. If you keep the guns, tell the case worker they are for hunting or competition, never self defense or protection.
 
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I haven't adopted, but did go through the process to foster a child in MA about 4 years ago. At the time the DCF "rules" regarding firearms in the home stated that all firearms needed to be stored BOTH locked up AND with trigger locks on all firearms while the foster child is in the home. In the course of the case worker's required home inspection prior to placement, she asked to see the safe but did not ask me to open it.

I would just like to echo what Hillman said in that the extent of DCFs concerns about firearms and enforcement of the rules thereto probably depends heavily on which case worker you draw for the home inspection. Then again, the rules for adoption versus foster care could also be very, very different.
 
We have just started to talk about it. I'm not sure what side of this we are going to endup on. I am most worried about the emotional toll it will take on my wife, if it doesn't work out.
 
Having seen what some other families that I know have now gone through (not adoption) with regards to interactions with DCF (in Mass. and Conn.), I would never ever willingly allow those people into my house or into my life.

My wife has brought up adoption or fostering a few times, and I've always responded with a "Hell No, not in this state."
 
toekneepea said:
Having seen what some other families that I know have now gone through (not adoption) with regards to interactions with DCF (in Mass. and Conn.), I would never ever willingly allow those people into my house or into my life.

My wife has brought up adoption or fostering a few times, and I've always responded with a "Hell No, not in this state."
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Very wise decision on your part. A lot of these kids are really screwed up psychologically. If your foster or adopted child acts out and makes a threat in school, YOU will be the one who gets served with an ERPO. Who needs that grief?
 
I think I posted the story before, but for our second adoption we tried DCF. The lady wanted to see everything I had. I was not nice to her. My wife undertood and we decided to go private for the second time. So glad we don't have those people in our lives currently. My wife has friends who work with DCF and convinced us to give it a shot. None of the her friends that attempted to convince her fostered children despite having problems themselves conceiving. That should tell you something.
 
hillman said:
I went through it 7 years ago, as KVX linked to it. It all depends on your case worker in regards to firearms. They have their own rules that are not necessarily the law. Best bet is remove them from the home until the adoption is final. Second best is jump through whatever hoops they throw at you. Ridiculous things, guns and ammo stored in separate rooms, etc.

Whatever you do, it's the best thing you'll ever do, just plug your nose and get through it. I don't regret one second ofthe garbage we went through to get our amazing son. PM me if I can answer any questions or if you need to vent about whatever they put you through.

One piece of advice. If you keep the guns, tell the case worker they are for hunting or competition, never self defense or protection.
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I would leave out hunting. Competition ONLY.
 
Thank you for doing this. There's alot of kids out there who would give their left testicle for a family. Especially the 12-13 year olds who know they're too old to be adopted. It's a horrible feeling, knowing you're gonna be in that shitty position until you're 18. Alot of those kids end up getting addicted to drugs, and learn how to steal cars and shit from the other kids. Some of the homes they stay at are pretty much jail. It's bad enough being raised by people who don't care about you, then being ripped away from your brothers and sisters, but you also end up living somewhere with bars on the windows and you can't leave, or worse you end up with people more abusive than where you came from.
 
you're a good person for considering adoption. i was adopted as an infant, my adopted mom couldn't have kids and i was my parents gift from god. i wish everyone could experience the love i felt throughout my life while my folks were alive. best wishes to you and your wife on this process!
 
Our kid is adopted. 36 years ago, guns we're not an issue. Different times though. Funny story: we heard later that the social worker was afraid of us not b/c of guns, but the fact that we have 6 postgraduate degrees between us. We looked at each other and said jeez,why would anyone be afraid of us? Go figure. Big ++++ for adoption here.
 
FYI DCF policy for foster parents requires that guns are locked separately from ammunition. Very few people at DCF have any idea about guns or gun laws and do not really have any way to check other than asking you........ If you tell them you own guns, they will ask to see them in safes, WITH trigger locks and ammo locked in a different location. Asinine.
 
mikeyp said:
My oldest is adopted, he's my SIL's kid. We took custody of him via the courts when DCF was too slow(shocking). Adopted him at 4 years old. Guns never came up though.
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SOunds like probate and family court.... DCF litigates custody situations via Juvenile court. Entirely different scenario.
 
If you haven't made a decision yet, chocolate labs are awesome! just kiddin'. Best of luck in your endeavor and keep us posted.
 
I'm a 20 year foster parent and I've also adopted through DCF, and a gun owner the whole time, and last year was the first time I was asked about it by my social worker. She knew I had an LTC and asked to see it, I showed it to her and it was no big deal.

Good luck!
 

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