SemiAutoSam
Banned
This was rather funny.
I found a Somalia cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the
Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).
The cost is a bit high but it seems well worth it. What I found
encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people
to bring their own high powered weapons along on the cruise. If you
don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They
claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading
parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days. All the
boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get
hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims
associated with the package:
$800.00 US/per day per person, double occupancy (4 day minimum)
M-16 full automatic: rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56
armor-piercing ammo at $15.95
Ak-47 rifle: no charge. Ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball
ammo at $14.95
Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle: rental $55.00/day. Ammo at 25
rounds
50 cal armor piercing at $9.95
Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting
scope included).
They even offer RPG's at $75 bucks and $200 for 3 standard loads
Mounted mini-gun available @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire.
Free complimentary night vision equipment.
Meals are not included but seem reasonable. Coffee and snacks on the
top deck from 7pm-6am
They offer group rates and corporate discounts, and even offer a
partial money back if not satisfied.
Text from the ad:
"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking
attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money including gun
rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included).
How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at
5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted
hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by
at 4 knots.
"We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day
along the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit
and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music
beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so
respond quickly. Reserve your package before April 29 and get 100
rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."
Here are a few testimonials:
"FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!"
---- Stan, Denver, CO USA
"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big
game in Africa again."
----Lars, Hamburg, Germany
"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three
pirates and my 12 yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun.
PIRATES 0, PASSENGERS 32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your
spotter speaks English.."
----- Ned, Salt Lake City, Utah USA
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't
worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to
the ship with those weapons they use and their crappy aim--reminds
me of a drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor
pool back in Nam."
----"Chopper" Dan, Toledo, Ohio USA.
"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them
bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate
eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do."
---Zeke, Minnahaw Springs, Kentucky USA
