Significant others objections to firearms

Wellllll to be honest I had left a previous girlfriend because she told me to get rid of my guns. After trying to explain and educate her ai found she was more of a liberal nutcase than I had imagined. So I did away with her. My guns were here before you and they damn well will still be here after you. [grin]
 
Just go and buy the firearm that you want. Start small and she will get used to it. Don't let her think she has the authority to dictate what is your purchasing decisions.

Worked for me. My gf doesn't make my purchasing decisions for me nor I her. The relationship would not have continued if that was not clear. It took a year but now she has her ltc and a key to the safe.

I would start with a handgun wait a few months then buy a rifle. At that point the handgun will have been in your home for months and she will see it more normally.

If it is a fight about money that is is a different discussion.
 
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Amancini said:
....My question is has anyone else had this experience? What did you do to persuade? how did their signifcant other feel after all this was resolved? any advice is greatly appreciated

Thank you
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Unrelated to guns when complaining to someone about problems with my wife someone told me, "Do what you want to do". It was the single best piece of advice anyone ever gave me. That was when I was in my 40's and it still works today at 60. (I'm still married).

As for guns, I used to hide them. Now she knows where my guns are including those that I carry. You should have seen her expression the first time I pulled out my loaded (ready for defense use) AR-15 which is always nearby and ready. Now it's nothing. She accepts it.
 
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JWPaolilliJr said:
Keep telling yourself that, Most all the married guys here will tell you that you are full of shit. Once the knot is tied it will be, yes dear.
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My GF says it, and knows that when we get married, that will be what happens. Of course we'll work together, but I'll be the head to protect the family. She can't stand the bad rep guys get these days, and how they have become the #2 person in the family under the wife. Sorry, not going to happen with me.
 
CockedAndLocked said:
Depending on the person you might want to start big, get past that, and then any smaller purchases are a non-issue rather than repeating the same thing over and over.
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Valid my first was a handgun and it seemed like it went over smoother when I finally bought a rifle because of that. She was more used to firearms at that point having had a handgun in the house for a while.
 
My gf was very much against me buying a gun (we dont live together yet). I went out and bought one anyways. And then I bought more. I got her to come to the range by basically framing it as this is my hobby so you should at least check it out with me. Since then she's realized that she really enjoys shooting and she keeps asking to come to the range with me. She was still uncomfortable about having guns in the house but overtime she's gotten much more comfortable with the idea. I think it helped a lot when she overheard me talking to her coworker who hunts about firearms safety and different safes/locks/etc.

My mother was very anti and terriffied of guns. We went on a double date (my parents, my gf, and I) to mass firearms school for an intro shooting lesson and my mom had an absolute blast shooting their .22s. For a long time she refused to come to the range with me but the other day she actually asked to go!

My advice is to get your gf shooting. See if she is willing to take an intro lesson at MFS, or a safety course, or do a women on target event, or even just come to MFS with you and rent a gun to try. She needs to witness firsthand that a gun is just an object and, more importantly, that you are adamant about safety.
 
As others have alluded to, this is an opportunity for you to feel out how compatible you two truly are. She should be able to keep an open mind, and if she remains stubborn and absolutely refuses to learn about firearms safety and handling, then it may be a sign that she will be unwilling to bend on other issues as well.

I second the suggestions that you get her either some private lessons or admission to a Women on Target event. If she refuses to even attend, then you have learned an important piece of information about her. If she agrees to go, then chances are she will either become more accepting of having guns in the house or become a full-on shooting enthusiast!
 
OP, other than this issue is it a generally healthy relationship? Is your GF "well balanced"? What I'm getting at is... if the relationship turned sour after you buy a gun, do you think she would be capable of pulling the "I'm askeered he owns guns" 209A cluster****?
 
NES is a wonderful place to get input on firearms, and an awful place to seek advice on women.

NES fool #1: "tell her to deal with it"
Uh good luck with that one....hope you like being single.

NES fool #2: "i've been married 40 years and she's learned to tolerate my guns"
I am not content with this....I want my woman to share my passion for firearms, not just tolerate them.

NES fool #3: "take her to the range and show her"
OK, so when she feels you are speaking condescendingly or "preaching", her ego gets hurt and now your chances went from slim to zero.

----

I don't want my woman to tolerate my guns. I want her to know how to shoot them and how to protect me and my family! something may happen to me and i want my woman to be as capable as me. we aren't much of a team if only I work the guns.

Many of you speak from perspective of macho, which is bullshit when it comes to women....none of you have ever told a woman how it's going to be. if you seemed to be correct it was only because she was letting you feel correct. and if you drop dead your firearms will be sold off for cash.

not in my house. my woman shoots everything from her own pump shotty and 45 handgun to a 22 rifle and 5.56 tavor. she was born and raised a moonbat and I take credit for helping her learn the truth.

The trick: stop trying to teach women anything. they don't want to learn from you or me. let a 3rd party teach them so their ego isn't damage. let her take her own path to seeing the light, don't pave the path that you want for her. iinvesting in some private lessons or course is the key....and keep distance so her ego goes unscathed.
 
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Wow shocked at the responses. I found a bunch I posts helpful a lot of things I thought about and def agree education is key here. The big piece of advice that I am considering is to set her up for the education but have her take it at her own pace.

Thanks

The big question that will now arise is .40 or .45....first ;)
 
BattleSnail said:
My wife is ok with guns but isn't really much of a fan. She doesn't get the necessity of them or why anyone would want so many. But she understands that guns are part of the package when choosing to be with me. Be a man, and don't let some broad clip your nuts. Men don't ask permission from women.
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This was pretty much my scenario. I told (not asked) my girlfriend (also live with) that I was going to buy a pistol. My dad had just bought me my first shotgun the christmas before as I was getting in to hunting. She didnt care for guns. Is by no means against them, and understands their purpose, she has just never been comfortable with them. Its been a year and shes just now ok with being around the guns. I've taken her shooting, she shot my shield a couple times, it wasnt her thing. Thats fine, you dont want to press it on her. She'll become more comfortable over time and even enjoy shooting, maybe she wont, but thats up to her. As you your girlfriend OP, sit down and have a serious conversation with her. Explain to her that you understand she doesnt want a gun in the house, and explain your views. Tell her your genuinely interested in hearing why she doesnt want you to have one. With my girlfriend, I did this, and she really appreciated my interest in her side of it, and was a little more open to my views afterward. If she doesnt change her mind, or at least allow it, then you at least gave her the respect of a conversation... and then you go gun shopping. As stated, if the relationship is serious, she will forgive you. If she doesnt... well then you'll have a nice gun and way more time and money to shoot :D
 
If you're so adamant about your wife sharing your passions and hobbies, do you join in on her knitting circle? Do you get manicures together? Seriously, you're both adults, you can have different hobbies. As long as she knows basic safety, who cares if she becomes a keyboard command like the rest of us?

As far as taking her to the range, YMMV. Works for some but apparently not for others. You could try, you know, not being condescending or preaching.
 
You have to be prepared that if you are going to have guns she may feel more strongly against them than she has feelings for you. It seems you have tried to educate her a bit and she seems unwilling to yield to learn. This could be a situation where you get a gun and she may leave you. You have to be prepared for that.

My wife is against guns but I told her the children are half mine so half of the things they learn will be from me and one of those things is guns and gun safety.

I take them to the range and she does not go. But she attentively listens to them when we come home and they tell her how much fun that have had.

Bottom line is I agreed to share my life with her not give her complete control over things I do which means I get to do things I like that she may not like and she does things I may not like . But that is a relationship. On the other side of that if she wasn't able to accept me for who I am which includes all the things I do then I would be either prepared to let her walk or I would walk away myself.
 
Did you ever try to teach a girlfriend to drive stick? Impossible right? Take her to a good gun store, or better yet, a good shooting class, have a professional teach her to shoot. Good chance she'll like it.

Is her objection a liberal thing, or something else, fear of guns?

We have 2 little kids. Let me tell you, there's so many more dangerous things in a house, or around town, that are more dangerous to kids. Stairs, medicine cabinets, driveways and streets, choking hazards. Unless you leave a loaded firearm on the floor, there's no danger to kids, not til they're old enough to load a gun themselves.
 
JWPaolilliJr said:
Keep telling yourself that, Most all the married guys here will tell you that you are full of shit. Once the knot is tied it will be, yes dear.
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Not really.
It's all about compromise.
What I say goes....no compromise. [smile]

But, my wife is cool with firearms being in the house.
Just passed 20 years married in June.
 
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Another thought, get her into archery, so you can join a club that has both shooting and archery. After Hunger Games, a lot of women are open to archery. :)
 
My wife isn't anti by any means, she just doesn't see the need to have a "bunch" of them in the house. Had I understood initially that she had an idea of what was "too many" in the house at one time, and that she could care less about me keeping as many as I like at my office, it would have saved us many an argument at the beginning.
 
DMWB said:
Lots of good advice here on getting her to think differently about firearms. But one thing I'd like to mention is this: in the event that she is so unreasonable, intolerant, and uncompromising so as not to even consider your perspective and family connection, do you really want to "make decisions" with this person for the rest of your life?
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+1 Giving up a passion for someone is always a mistake in the long run, though it may seem ok in the short run.
 
Amancini said:
Wow shocked at the responses. I found a bunch I posts helpful a lot of things I thought about and def agree education is key here. The big piece of advice that I am considering is to set her up for the education but have her take it at her own pace.

Thanks

The big question that will now arise is .40 or .45....first ;)
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As mentioned earlier, one of GOAL's Women On Target courses would be an excellent place for her to start. I've helped at at a couple of them and have seen nothing but nervous looks turn into shit eatin' grins on every one of the participants. Awesome program IMO. [grin]
 

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