This was in The Edmonson Voice in Kentucky:
by Greg Meredith
I had an incident this morning that most will find amusing. As I went to my deer stand very early as usual, I approached with caution as always. Deer were in the area and it sounded as if there was a stampede and even smaller animals scurried away in the cover of darkness. I continued to my stand, as I have may times before with the deer usually returning a short time after.
I reached my stand and unknowingly had a raccoon take refuge in the same tree. I proceeded to climb into the stand which is about 24 ft high and nestled in a cluster of three trees with the stand attached to the largest. The other two are about 8 inches in diameter. Because it was raining, I whipped out my treebrella. (Camouflaged umbrella that secures to tree just above your head).
Now this coon had climbed just a little higher than that, so I still don't know he is there. However, a short time after I had everything perfect and just waiting for daylight, I notice the most fowl odor I have ever smelled. For those of you who use coon urine for cover scent, my hat is off to you!
Now it even gets worse-- I notice my tree shaking. I am very concerned at this time because it actually feels like something is climbing up the tree. I am looking down and this coon drops a bomb on me. Coon crap bounced off my treebrella with a splat. I don't know what this coon had been eating but he must have just came from taco bell!
At this point I realize what is going on. (It takes me awhile sometimes). So I pull an arrow from my quiver and decide to poke this coon, which is about 4 feet above my head. I stand up, lean out and reach up and then it happened... Folks I have done some stupid things in my life, but never this ignorant. That coon grabbed the arrow with one hand and bit the arrow into with his teeth. Now all I have left is a carbon shaft, coon urine on my coat, and crap on my treebrella. Oh and the most important thing, A HIGHLY TICKED OFF COON.
He commenced to growling like nothing I had ever heard. He started backing down the tree towards me and I swat him with the shaft I have in my hand. Now ya'll might be able to control your children with such a device, but YOU CAN NOT REASON WITH A COON. He decides to jump on top of my treebrella. Now you know that a treebrella can not support the weight of a coon. So you guessed it! The coon is now in my lap. ALL BODILY FUNCTIONS GO OFF AT ONCE. Houston we have a problem. Not only am I covered with his bodily waste, but I have ruined my brand new hunting pants as well. This must have surprised the coon as much as me. Because he is no longer growling, but is making a chatter of some sort. I realize that with all the scent on me he thinks I am a coon. (I think I even heard banjo music).
Needless to say I vacated the stand to the adjoining tree. He, however, took his sweet time sniffing everything as he descended down the tree. I can only hope he doesn't tell his friends....
by Greg Meredith
I had an incident this morning that most will find amusing. As I went to my deer stand very early as usual, I approached with caution as always. Deer were in the area and it sounded as if there was a stampede and even smaller animals scurried away in the cover of darkness. I continued to my stand, as I have may times before with the deer usually returning a short time after.
I reached my stand and unknowingly had a raccoon take refuge in the same tree. I proceeded to climb into the stand which is about 24 ft high and nestled in a cluster of three trees with the stand attached to the largest. The other two are about 8 inches in diameter. Because it was raining, I whipped out my treebrella. (Camouflaged umbrella that secures to tree just above your head).
Now this coon had climbed just a little higher than that, so I still don't know he is there. However, a short time after I had everything perfect and just waiting for daylight, I notice the most fowl odor I have ever smelled. For those of you who use coon urine for cover scent, my hat is off to you!
Now it even gets worse-- I notice my tree shaking. I am very concerned at this time because it actually feels like something is climbing up the tree. I am looking down and this coon drops a bomb on me. Coon crap bounced off my treebrella with a splat. I don't know what this coon had been eating but he must have just came from taco bell!
At this point I realize what is going on. (It takes me awhile sometimes). So I pull an arrow from my quiver and decide to poke this coon, which is about 4 feet above my head. I stand up, lean out and reach up and then it happened... Folks I have done some stupid things in my life, but never this ignorant. That coon grabbed the arrow with one hand and bit the arrow into with his teeth. Now all I have left is a carbon shaft, coon urine on my coat, and crap on my treebrella. Oh and the most important thing, A HIGHLY TICKED OFF COON.
He commenced to growling like nothing I had ever heard. He started backing down the tree towards me and I swat him with the shaft I have in my hand. Now ya'll might be able to control your children with such a device, but YOU CAN NOT REASON WITH A COON. He decides to jump on top of my treebrella. Now you know that a treebrella can not support the weight of a coon. So you guessed it! The coon is now in my lap. ALL BODILY FUNCTIONS GO OFF AT ONCE. Houston we have a problem. Not only am I covered with his bodily waste, but I have ruined my brand new hunting pants as well. This must have surprised the coon as much as me. Because he is no longer growling, but is making a chatter of some sort. I realize that with all the scent on me he thinks I am a coon. (I think I even heard banjo music).
Needless to say I vacated the stand to the adjoining tree. He, however, took his sweet time sniffing everything as he descended down the tree. I can only hope he doesn't tell his friends....
