Ya I had twenty years merchant marine. You would not believe the crazy stuff you see. I'd be towing a 600' barge around the keys and I would get calls from blow boaters asking if they could cut in between the tug and barge.
Bring me a bucket of steam. Or trace all the yellow hydraulic lines in the engine room (for those not in the know, all handrails are painted yellow). We still had sound powered telephones too, that if you cranked the handle when grounded (grabbing a rail) it would give you a nice shock.