Funny things a 3 year old says

[jkelly1229]

Took my 3 year old with me to shoot "orange monsters" at sporting clays today

We come up behind these two guys in their 50s

And they shoot and miss

Little dude goes woooah they missed

Dada shoot the monsters for them

He kept heckling them at every stand until they left lol

I had an enjoyable afternoon

 

[Marty McFly]

I got my 4 year old nephew to yell at my 15 year old nephew when we were throwing hatchets.
"Just throw your purse at it" and "now do that again except better"

I was dying laughing

 

[jkelly1229]

I got my 4 year old nephew to yell at my 15 year old nephew when we were throwing hatchets.
"Just throw your purse at it" and "now do that again except better"

I was dying laughing

The best i ever heard was some 7 year old

Him and his dad caught up to me playing golf because the people in front of all of us were c***s

So i shank one into the woods and the kid with 0 prompting from his dad goes what club was that.... i was like idk a 7

He was like it looked like a tree iron

I'm not proud to say i told him he was the mail mans kid

 

[tuna]

I used to belong to Westfield Sportsmans Club, and I'd take my son fishing there after work all the time. You need a key to get in the gate, which came with being a member. Despite every member having a key, when the range guys would leave they'd always ask if you had yours, so you wouldn't be locked in. It made sense I guess, but it was kind of irritating, as I'm in the "stupid should hurt" court of opinion.
One day I realized that I needed to knock off my swearing when the guy shouted across the pond if I had my key, because he was leaving. I told him we were all set. My son, about 4, looked at me deadpan and said "Jesus Christ, those f**king guys really piss me the f**k off."


A better example of parenting would be my daughter. When she was 3 or under, I was putting her in the carseat and hit my head on the door. I said "Son of a ....." and I stopped, so that I wouldn't swear in front of her. She completed my sentence with "Bis".
Aha - I'm the good guy and I get to correct my wife's language! HAHAHA
I told my wife what happened and what my daughter said. My wife replied "Yesterday I hit my head as well, and I said 'son of a biscuit', so I guess that's what she was trying to repeat."

I guess I'm still the A-hole.

 

[John4166]

When my nephew was 4 he asked me why women’s butts are bigger than men’s. I told him that it was because women produce more gas. His mother was not pleased.

 

[whacko]

When I was on my second deployment my son was 6. This deployment was during "the surge" and we knew it was going to be 15 months. My wife's mom came up about 3 weeks after I left.....they were riding in the car going wherever.....she says my son just chimes in and says "mom.....wouldn't dad be surprised if he came home and I had a little brother or sister"?



My wife says she and her mom laughed so hard she almost drove off the road. Yeah....dad would be reaaaaaal surprised.