Cotton balls and Vaseline - cool

Not trying to rain on your parade but I was expecting something more risqué when I read the thread title, my bad.
 
Keister 'em! Fairly waterproof and chances of having to explain this become very slim.

Extra points if you can fart them out and light both the fart and the cotton ball at the same time.

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We already had the NES flamethrower event...
 
I hesitate to divulge my secrets due to the fear of neg repping by jealous wannabees. Both of the following require an asbestos shield.

1/ A 4 foot long taper candle of my own design and charcoal starter fluid. Gasoline will work in a pinch.
2/ My favorite though, is naptha. Once I found that it works in a Zippo, so I buy in quantity, half a cup + a tinkle and Hillary campaign posters. Bundle up 6 strike anywhere matches and away you go. [( 6 cause they suck now ) not like they used to be)]
 
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