You might be a redneck if...

[dwarven1]

...You trim your rhododendron bush with a chainsaw.

...You want to put an American Flag on the clearance marker for your new underground propane tank.

...You sell one gun to buy another.

Hmm... let's see... rhody with the chainsaw, check. Flag on the propane tank, soon as it's buried and I can reach it, check. Sell the snubbie to buy an SKS, check.

Looks like I'm a redneck.

Any other tell-tale signs I should look for? (please post new ones, not recycled Jeff Foxworthy ones, OK?)

Ross

 

[MrsWildweasel]

Far too many to list for Glenn and I. [lol] [lol] [twisted]

 

[dwarven1]

Far too many to list for Glenn and I. [lol] [lol] [twisted]

Oh, c'mon... you can't weasel out of it that easily! (well, maybe Glenn can...) [twisted]

Give it a shot! Who knows, maybe we can sent them to Jeff Foxworthy to include in his skits.

Ross

 

[MrsWildweasel]

One of the big ones is we have sooo many vehicles in the back that people stop and ask about them or parts.
No we're not a junk yard either. [lol] [lol] Glenn and I say we basically live it. I'll try to come up with some of the better ones. [lol]

 

[dwarven1]

One of the big ones is we have sooo many vehicles in the back that people stop and ask about them or parts.
No we're not a junk yard either. [lol] [lol] Glenn and I say we basically live it. I'll try to come up with some of the better ones. [lol]

I said I wouldn't do it, but here's one from Foxworthy: If your home can move and the 9 cars in your yard cannot... you might be a redneck!

 

[Cross-X]

...if you have at least three dogs under your front porch.

 

[Cross-X]

...if you know what 'shine is...

 

[Cross-X]

...if you have a tow chain in the back of your pickup...

 

[Cross-X]

...all of your jeans have a peculiar circular faded pattern on the right side back pocket

 

[MrsWildweasel]

Well our home can't move,but some of the vehicles can't. Not all of them are ours too. [lol]

 

[Wildweasel]

You might be a redneck if-

You have ever givin a tire as a present (check FOR A WEDDING GIFT!)

your piston rings cost more than your wedding rings, (almost)

you mow your yard and find a car. (yup)

you'd rather work on the car than the house. (the house work is what messed up the shoulder!)

I am sure I can come up with some more.

 

[Cross-X]

You might be a redneck if you believe you can fix just about anything with duct tape, bailing wire and a pair of vicegrips.

You might be a redneck if you actually use your four-wheel-drive to go four-wheeling.

You might be a redneck if you think the true American flag has a great bit X in it.

You might be a redneck if you think all roads are made of dirt and gravel.

 

[dwarven1]

You might be a redneck if you see wildlife walking through your yard and the only thing going through your mind is how tasty they'd be...

 

[Skald]

...If you think the end of the Star Spangled Banner is 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'

 

[MrsWildweasel]

Actually Ross,it is seeing wildlife in our yard and if we can get the shot out of our living room window.

 

[dwarven1]

You might be a redneck if-

You have ever givin a tire as a present (check FOR A WEDDING GIFT!)

Uh... WW, why did you give a tire as a wedding present? My wife was wondering...

 

[MrsWildweasel]

Oh,it's a long story. [lol] [twisted]

 

[dwarven1]

Oh,it's a long story.

She's trying to weasel again... Hey, I have time to read if you have time to type. [lol]

Ross

 

[Wildweasel]

You might be a redneck if-

You have ever givin a tire as a present (check FOR A WEDDING GIFT!)

Uh... WW, why did you give a tire as a wedding present? My wife was wondering...

Well one of my motorcycle riding buddys (off-road) was getting married and my other friend and I decieded,correctly I might add.. That all the presents where for her. well the wedding was out on the cape at her folks, big to do.
had to get my marrying and bury'n Duds on and all.
well we bought him a new rear tire for his bike (150.00 tire) and wrapped it like a wreath. It was one of those pricless moments. [twisted]
everyone was expecting a nice wreath to go on the door or wall and Rick unwrapped it and got a HUGE grin on his face and KNEW who it was from.

we just busted out laughing and his bride thought it was funny as hell too.
course the mother-in law had a bird.

I don't think I will get invited out there again.

 

[MrsWildweasel]

See better coming from Glenn. [twisted]

 

[Nickle]

I just have to post this one:



Ya might be a DeadHORSe if...


if you think ALCOHOL is a vitamin..........
if you eat ROADKILL cold..........
if your dad walked you to school cause ya both were in the same grade..........
if somebody comes to your house everyday asking if your having a yard sale..........
if you go to a family reunion to meet women..........
if you wear only army surplus clothing..........
if you think sardines on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve..........
if you own at least one gun..........
if you only pass on double yellow..........
if you think SPAM is expensive red meat..........
if you don't use handkercheifs..........
if you have CHUMMED in your tent..........
if you know where Steel Hill SC is..........
if you prefer beans for breakfast..........
if you think women are turned on by animal noises and tongue gestures..........
if you drive 55 cause its eaiser to spot the bars..........
if you use HOT sauce on everything..........
if you don't wonder why a day has 24 hours and a case of BEER has 24 cans..........
if you don't have the yuppie fear of weapons..........
if your family tree doesn't fork..........
if you have ever use LARD in bed..........
if your dog and wallet are both on a chain.........
if you prefer riding in the rain..........
if you have ever barbequed spam..........
if you carry a leatherman tool..........
if you paint your bike to look like an animal..........
if you don't remove the cigar from your mouth
to telL the state trooper to kiss your ass..........
if you think Dom Perignon is a mafia leader..........
if somebody asks for your ID you show them your belt buckle..........and.........

 

[KMaurer]

if you own at least one gun..........

Poor (adj.): 1. A redneck who owns only one gun; 2. ...

Ken

 

[Nickle]

if you own at least one gun..........

Poor (adj.): 1. A redneck who owns only one gun; 2. ...

Ken

Remember, the reference was to DeadHorse (a group pf Bikers). Most of them are city folks (I'm obviously not), so, 1 gun is plenty. Hell, I have more than enough to make up for the ones that I invite up every year.

 

[M1911]

You sell one gun to buy another

Sell a gun? Go wash your mouth out with soap!

You BUY guns. You don't sell them.

 

[M1911]

You might be a redneck if you actually use your four-wheel-drive to go four-wheeling.

Just spent the last two weeks on Cape Poge fishing. Truck was a mess by the time we got home. http://www.thetrustees.org/pages/286_cape_poge_wildlife_refuge.cfm

 

[dwarven1]

You sell one gun to buy another

Sell a gun? Go wash your mouth out with soap!

You BUY guns. You don't sell them.

Trust me. If you'd had my Hardballer or that old decrepit Colt .357 of mine, you'd sell them gladly and RUN with the cash in hand before the buyer changed his mind.

 

[C-pher]

You sell one gun to buy another

Sell a gun? Go wash your mouth out with soap!

You BUY guns. You don't sell them.

Trust me. If you'd had my Hardballer or that old decrepit Colt .357 of mine, you'd sell them gladly and RUN with the cash in hand before the buyer changed his mind.

I'm just glad that you didn't add in there the .38 snubby.

 

[Nickle]

IIRC, he actually liked that one. He just wants a rifle more right now.

 

[dwarven1]

Trust me. If you'd had my Hardballer or that old decrepit Colt .357 of mine, you'd sell them gladly and RUN with the cash in hand before the buyer changed his mind.

I'm just glad that you didn't add in there the .38 snubby.

Nope, the Charter Arms is a nice little gun. I originally picked it up because a friend has one and I'd really liked that. Main reason I decided to keep the smith instead of the Charter Arms is the ablility to shoot +P loads.

 

[C-pher]

Yea, I hear ya. The +P would be nice. But that doesn't mean that I can't still get an airweight down the line as well.