You Know You Are a New Englander...

[FPrice]

YOU'RE A NEW ENGLANDER IF........

Forget Rednecks ... here's what Jeff Foxworthy has to say on New Englanders:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping it will swim by, you
might live in New England.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights
each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation, and
Boston gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you live in New England.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you
live in New England.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the
year, you live in New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't
work there, you live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New
England.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A NEW ENGLANDER WHEN:

"Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the
weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day, and back
again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows
how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
blue spruce.

"Down South" to you means Philadelphia.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New
England friends.

__________________________________________________

 

[KingCobra58]

You might be a New Englander...

Some musings from Jeff Foxworthy.


Jeff Foxworthy on New England 
 
Forget Rednecks... here's what Jeff Foxworthy has to say on New Englanders:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping it will swim by, you might live in New England.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation, and Boston gets more snow than any other majority in the US, you live in New England.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you live in New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A NEW ENGLANDER WHEN: "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day, and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction .

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

"Down South" to you means Philadelphia.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends.

 

[BigWarden]

You know you're a New Englander when all of your driving directions include I-95 at some point.

 

[JuergenG]

You know you're a New Englander when "BMW" to you means "Boston Motor Works".

 

[KMaurer]

When you don't find it confusing to be driving on I-93 or 95 South and 128 North at the same time.

Ken

 

[BigWarden]

When you don't find it confusing to be driving on I-93 or 95 South and 128 North at the same time.

Ken

[lol]

 

[Skald]

You know what a rotary is.

 

[Pilgrim]

You know what a rotary is.

or a 'bubbla'

 

[mark056]

Knowing what a 'bubbla" is reminds me of when I was first at Devens for AIT. I am in the main Intell School Building (Revere Hall ?) and I asked this civilian worker how to go to a particular location. He told me to take the stairs over by the bubbla. I said the what ? He looked exasperated and said the bubbla, you know, the bubbla...finally he takes me over to the drinking fountain and shows me the bubbla.

It's kind of like learning that regular coffee means with cream and sugar and that a Frappe is a milkshake anywhere else, and a shake is just milk with syrup.

Mark

 

[Pilgrim]

I spent about 6 months taking evening classes in that building.

 

[BigWarden]

...a Frappe is a milkshake anywhere else, and a shake is just milk with syrup.

Honestly, I've lived in New England my entire life and this one still confuses me.

 

[hminsky]

You know you live in New England when you can drive for ten miles, through three towns, with every cross street labeled, and still not see a sign to tell you the name of the road you're driving on.

 

[mark056]

LOL [lol]

 

[Len-2A Training]

You know you live in New England when you can drive for ten miles, through three towns, with every cross street labeled, and still not see a sign to tell you the name of the road you're driving on.

NOT Funny!

This is one very frustrating truism that sometimes causes me problems, and I've lived here my entire life.

 

[Nickle]

And not just in Mass, either.

 

[Pilgrim]

Hey Nickle, do you ever get used the those VT town highway (like TH31) roads? Everyone has a weigh limit posted too.

 

[Nickle]

Until we went to Enhanced 911, the road names weren't posted, and some changed over the years. I won't say I live in a small town, but the road I live on (State Highway), in the village, didn't have a "name". Guess what they called it?


Main Street. This is no BS, either.


And, yeah, I'm used to the weight limit signs. I didn't know there was anything unusual about them. They've always been there. 8)

 

[BigWarden]

How about ...

If you've had to explain how the Boston accent works to out-of-state visitors ... you might be a New Englander.

(If I had a nickle for everytime I overheard this being done at a restaurant)

 

[dwarven1]

You know you live in New England when you can drive for ten miles, through three towns, with every cross street labeled, and still not see a sign to tell you the name of the road you're driving on.

NOT Funny!

This is one very frustrating truism that sometimes causes me problems, and I've lived here my entire life.

As an immigrant from NJ, where there are TWO street signs at every intersection, this drives me crazy, too. I think that what happened is that when Bostonians were afraid that England would invade in the War of 1812, they took down all the street signs... and never put them back up again!!!

 

[jacobtowne]

You understand the meaning of traffic signs that say "Thickly Settled" and "Squeeze Right."

You eat pie for breakfast.

A long, tubular sandwich is called a grinder.

JT

 

[Arioch]

Jeff Foxworthy

Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on New Englanders

Forget Rednecks... here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders...

(1) If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England.

(2) If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England.

(3) If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.

(4) If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

(5) If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.

(6) If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.

(7) If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England.

(8) If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in New England.

(9) If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.

(10) If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you live in New England.

(11) If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England.

(12) If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.

(13) If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England.

(14) If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England.

(15) If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England.

(16) If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in New England.

If you actually understand these jokes, you live in New England.

 

[Arioch]

New England

Forget Rednecks ......here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders...

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
a wrong number, you live in New England.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the
weekend, you live in New England .

If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England ..

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you
live in New England .

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
again, you live in New England .

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard without flinching, you live in New England ..

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave
both unlocked, you live in New England .

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
you live in New England .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
live in New England .

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you live in New England..

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow, you live in New England.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction, you live in New England.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in
New England.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in New England.

 

[Chris]

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England

Check

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England .

What if you did it and corrected the information the HD guy just gave?

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

check

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England .

Hmm, not really.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England ..

Just because I like to be more accurate....

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England .

The same deer? Actually, I do. She hit the deer sending it over the car. Startled, she veered off the road. Then she put the car in reverse to get back on the road and backed over it preventing the rear wheels from touching the ground enough to move the car.

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in New England .

Actually, my parents have an electronic thermostat that does this automatically. They just set it at 70 and never touch the thing.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England ..

Hmm, maybe they are transplants or all on vacation, but I saw people doing this in northern Utah and southern Idaho in a nasty storm while driving between Salt Lake City and Jackson Hole.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England .

The lights are for aiming purposes. The trick is getting to the doors.... (^_^)

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England .

Hmm. I know she can use them. But I'm debating if she can find them in the car....

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England .

Hey, just because we made Milan's Yoda costume out of heavy fleece....

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England..

...or, if the women are all half naked, Southern California.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England.

Oh, you've seen my dirt driveway. We actually LOVE early ice storms for that wonderful leveling ability

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England.

Lately it's been more like "where the hell is winter"?

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England.

That's only because Ariens Snowblowers last well over 30 years and the truck is only 12 years old. (^_^)

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in New England.

Just because I still ride the scooter at 10 degrees...

 

[Mike1911]

Jeff Foxworthy and New Englanders

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy
has to say about New Englanders...


If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November to March, you live in New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in New England.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England.

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England.

If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England.


If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends & others, you live or have lived in New England

 

[Big_Red]

Funny

 

[ephemeratta]

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England.

HA! I did this last weekend. I was picking out a slop sink and pump and helped a guy who had a backflow problem and a woman who's husband sent her in with a list for some pvc pipe. And then the guy with the backflow problem had a buddy with him and he helped me with some electrical stuff.

 

[scouter-rick]

I just wanna know where he hid the surveillance equipment in my car and who was watching me at the store.........

Good stuff!

-R

 

[KMaurer]

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.

When I was out visiting in California a couple of years back, I was doing 95 on I-5 where the posted limit was 65. I was in the right lane and was being routinely passed by traffic, including a couple of CHP cars. Several years before that I was pulled over in South Dakota doing about 110 late one night. The officer simply cautioned me that they'd had problems with antelope crossing the interstate in that area and advised that I back it off a little.

Ken

 

[toga]

...road construction...

lol

 

[rep308]

If your grandmother told all her friends you went "Out West" for college, when you actually went to Upstate New York, you live in New England