My $0.02 of advice is to avoid purchasing raw land that's never been developed. I built my home on raw land in NH and greatly underestimated all the line item costs that add up: septic, well, driveway, road cut, propane tanks, erosion protection, stormwater management, certified wetlands crossings (basically anywhere that grows ferns...actual standing water isn't necessary), waterfront setbacks, and archeological surveys (yes, literally paying a bunch of college kids to dig test pits and look for arrowheads). Even though I did much of the sitework myself, I still wound up paying a certified environmental engineer to join me at every town meeting (planning board, conservation committee) for the better part of a year.
I really wanted to build a cabin from scratch, but I paid dearly for it. In hindsight, I should have found a teardown instead, a mobile home, or at least started with an existing structure. And definitely check out current use taxes: I pay <$100/year in property taxes for 100+ acres of waterfront land in full current use (not posted, open to the public on foot), but the tradeoff is large one-time tax bills anytime I want to build anything new (shed, barn, etc.) on current use land.
IMO, unless you are doing the whole thing yourself, everyone should go into a raw land purchase-develop-build with the impression that it will cost more money and time. The teardown-build is a great way to save a bunch of money with driveways/grading, but you'll often want a new well/septic.
A lot of the problems in the first paragraph can be mitigated somewhat with the research into the property. I learned early on in my land purchase that if I would have to cross or come near a wetland for the build site, it was an automatic no go for me. I had no desire to deal with the state for wetlands permits or even town specific requirements for wetlands. There is a wetland on my property on the NWI, but it is a few hundred feet behind my build site. Other towns get goofy on their own pet peeves-see Campton's super restrictive Class VI road building policy. I also wanted nothing to do with waterfront.
Every time I looked at a lot and I looked at dozens, I also dug into any applicable minutes for the town's boards. There were several long running tales of frustration like yours. A huge red flag for me as I'm neither smart nor patient enough to deal with that crap.
The earlier point about perc tests/test pits on raw land is hugely important. A problem you can run into on large sites is unless you KNOW where you are building/placing septic, and can access that location, your running a perc test on it is simply a feel good notion and reassurance that "yes, I can find at least one place on the land that can be approved". The test pit/perc test must be where the septic system is and sometimes that is hard to access in the second most forested state in the nation. Obviosly there is nothing stopping a buyer from making the purchase contingent about passing perc, but the buyer should have a builder to assess the site and dirt work company lined up ready to do that quickly. That is hard to do right now.
I took a risk and skipped the tests. The parcel was covered in snow when I bought it, I didn't have a builder lined up yet, and knew that any company able to do testing would be a months out wait. I looked at the parcel while guestimating my build site/septic location. I looked at the USDA soils analysis for that site and noted that there was several recent builds in the general area which had similar. I also went with the assumption that SOMEWHERE on this 39 acre parcel I could find a place that worked. My final assumption was that if I couldn't find an ideal place for traditional septic, there are alternate systems available. I may have to donate one or both my lungs to make it work, but they are out there.
I've been lucky so far. Despite my town's recent bent towards NIMBYism, I have all town related permissions knocked out. Of course the town has maybe six employees, so the small town informal workings helped. I should get the septic permissions from the state by the spring as we're doing test pits before the snow hits.
I finally walked the boundary yesterday and found all of the survey markers/put them in as waypoints in my GPS. This will make my construction of the LUCT packet a bit easier. The land is already in current use, so I just have to take the appropriate chunk out of CU before the foundation goes in. On the survey i got with the land, there was a note of "axle found" on the back boundary line. I expected it to be an old car axle or junk. Nope-typical New England never throwing anything out. Need a fence post-have a busted wagon axle-voila, instant fence post.
*None of my above wallotext is professional or even amateur opinion. Just that of a retired artilleryman who has been nerding out on this for awhile.