What To Do With A Good Friend Suffering From PTSD...

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Hey guys, So I have a friend he is like a brother to me, He recently just completed his time in the Army at Ft.Campbell he was apart of air assault. He did two tours his first one he came back he was fine nothing changed wouldn't have even known he went over. Did his second tour NOW he isn't himself. When he was back at base after returning I could just get a feeling he wasn't my brother who left. He isn't the sarcastic d***h*** I knew. I figured well he just re-adjusting he will be fine so I didn't question anything. I spoke with my wife's father he just did 25 years active and multiple tours ect... he said give him some time. He recently came home 3 months ago and we'd get up have some beers and just clown around. But not him he just isn't himself. So lately i've been watching him closer and his sister has come to me about him. Apparently he now drinks from the time he wakes up till he blacks out at night. I've seen him kill 2 30 packs and not get hammered so I know he's been doing it for a while. We tried taking him to the range he WILL NOT touch a gun almost like he is scared to. So just today I said screw it and had his sister come meet with me and she has informed me on his last tour he watched his childhood friend lose his life and he was diagnosed with survivors remorse (don't know what that is) and also PTSD. What do I do now??? It seems he won't open up but he is on a course of self destruction.
 
He needs to talk to someone who specializes in these things. Either through the VA (I know) or private doc. If he won't seek help on his own friends and family will have to help him get help.

Good luck I hope he gets the help he needs.
 
His sister and his mom are the only ones who know, he hasn't said anything to anyone but the sister said they offered him help and he keeps saying he doesn't need it nothing's wrong with him.
 
Do I invite him over and try to have a heart to heart with him that I know what's going on? I can't sit and watch this kid destroy his life he already totaled his car drinking and driving.
 
sounds very very familiar.
Call Boston Vet Center, have them send some brochures if they have any, otherwise print webpage. Give copy to your buddy.
They have groups for afg/irag vets who have been through it. (also groups for RVN, Korea, WWII)
Otherwise, there is absolutely nothing, I mean nothing, you can do.
My best friend put a pistol to his chest after RVN. Still bothers me 45 years later. There weren't any vet centers then.
 
yeah im going to have to research and make moves with his mom and sister, because he has no motive to want to stop and drinks non stop. I ask him why he won't stop drinking and he just says when he drinks he goes numb and forget things, which by forgetting things I didn't know the extent until his sister told me what he is trying to forget. I'll be damned I just sit and watch like everyone else seems to be doing while this kid destroys himself.
 
I haven't dealt with this directly, so I can't offer you any advice on how to help him, but might I suggest that you call the vet center and ask them (WITHOUT naming any names) for resources on how to help someone in your life who has PTSD. They'd likely have the best resources simply due to their considerable experience. [sad]

It strikes me that PTSD, much like alcoholism or classic depression, can effect many more than the person diagnosed with it. Watching a loved one go through this has to be incredibly difficult and painful. I'm sure there are resources out there designed to help people in your position.
 
Don't know if ur a gym rat or a runner. Getting his focus on something else and wearing his energy down would be a place to start. It won't fix it but it might make it manageable. He might be able to start to talk to someone about it.
 
That much drinking suggests he is an alcoholic. I don't have any suggestions for you other than that is an issue he will likely have to deal with before he can address his PTSD. He probably needs to start at a detox.

As you go through this, remember that you can't fix him.
 
The VA is putting a lot of money towards PTSD research and treatment. I'm not a clinician, but my understanding is that PTSD is extremely hard to treat for guys with comorbid alcoholism/substance abuse. One of my colleagues just presented some clinical work she did with these vets at the Boston VA. She said a lot of guys get better but her program can't even take them in until 6 weeks sober. Apparently the alcohol is such a severe functional impairment that PTSD treatment is pointless until they get sober. Be aggressive and make a lot of calls around the VA. Good luck.

About Face - National Center for PTSD
 
Thank you guy's/ladies I'm going to gather as much info I can and present it to his mom and see what route we want to go. He never used to drink like this till after his 2nd deployment, now its spiraling out of control and at a rapid rate and I feel it will only be a matter time before he taking more then alcohol to numb his pain and the kids only 24. I know if we don't start acting on it were going to lose him and he's like my brother and having two drug addict parents I'll have him hate me for getting him help them watch another person I'm close to self destruct. I just wish I could get in his head and have him open up, I know he bottling up so much but pride is in his way and he refuses to ask for help.
 
Woodsy, M1911 and BillO, unfortunately, have nailed the first problem that needs to be addressed. Call the crisis line and get the professionals involved. They will have a much better road map than any of us can offer.

And just to piggy back on what others have already said, be careful with your own mental health when dealing with this - it is an extremely difficult thing to watch someone close implode and you need to recognize that lest it affect your own sanity. Remember that he is suffering because of experiences 6000 miles away and there isn't much you can do except try to get him help.

I truly hope everything turns around for your friend.
 
He never used to drink like this till after his 2nd deployment, now its spiraling out of control and at a rapid rate and I feel it will only be a matter time before he taking more then alcohol to numb his pain and the kids only 24.

You need to understand this: he is already out of control and he can not stop on his own. No amount of pleading or guilt or cajoling or "will power" will allow him to stop on his own. With that much intake of alcohol, if he did stop cold turkey it might well be dangerous. He needs a detox.
 
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I went through this with my older brother John. It is very frustrating to not be able to help someone who just won't help themselves.

The only times I ever had any success with John was when I laid the guilt trip on him for all the pain he was causing everyone who loved him.

How is he able to afford two 30 packs a day? Does he have a job?

Who is buying the booze? (My brother finally died because he married a bitch that only wanted his monthly check. She bought him booze up till the day he died
from bleeding ulcers. She kept enabling him. I laughed when she found out he was so drunk, he never put here on his insurance.)

You can only talk to him when he is sober.....any other time is a waste of time.

If it were someone I knew, I would show him the picture of my brother in his coffin, so he can see what his future is going to be if he doesn't change.
 
The VA is putting a lot of money towards PTSD research and treatment. I'm not a clinician, but my understanding is that PTSD is extremely hard to treat for guys with comorbid alcoholism/substance abuse. One of my colleagues just presented some clinical work she did with these vets at the Boston VA. She said a lot of guys get better but her program can't even take them in until 6 weeks sober. Apparently the alcohol is such a severe functional impairment that PTSD treatment is pointless until they get sober. Be aggressive and make a lot of calls around the VA. Good luck.

About Face - National Center for PTSD

I can't tell you how many times the VA has let vets down. Plus the biggest gripe is their counselors have 0 combat experience so they have no actual clue what these guys have gone through.
 
I can't tell you how many times the VA has let vets down.

I don't think this is news to anyone.

Plus the biggest gripe is their counselors have 0 combat experience so they have no actual clue what these guys have gone through.

There is some research about therapist characteristics as a determinant of outcomes. But if traumatic combat experience were a job requirement for therapists, there would be even more of a shortage of mental health care than there is now.
 
I can't tell you how many times the VA has let vets down. Plus the biggest gripe is their counselors have 0 combat experience so they have no actual clue what these guys have gone through.

Only subjectively. There is value in finding someone who has been there, done that, but that in itself does not make a good therapist. To the OP: you are doing the right thing. You want to help and are seeking advice. Your friend might need an intervention at this point with family members he loves. AA can help and therapy is a must. Just remember you can't force him; he needs to find the desire to change within himself. And of course, prayer never hurts. Best of luck.
 
I can't tell you how many times the VA has let vets down. Plus the biggest gripe is their counselors have 0 combat experience so they have no actual clue what these guys have gone through.

I worked as a volunteer at the VA once in Albuquerque. As a combat veteran, I can understand why they wouldn't want me to be a counselor......

because I would be like R. Lee Ermy............."Jeesus H Crist Dude! Stop acting like a phucking wimp and get on with life! We all went through that shit...what makes you so damn special!"
 
I worked as a volunteer at the VA once in Albuquerque. As a combat veteran, I can understand why they wouldn't want me to be a counselor......

because I would be like R. Lee Ermy............."Jeesus H Crist Dude! Stop acting like a phucking wimp and get on with life! We all went through that shit...what makes you so damn special!"

Might be what he need.
 
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My father in law (ret. Army 27 year combat vet) is going to reach out him, he said the same thing you all are to me and said maybe if my friend has someone who went through what he did and isn't gonna sugar coat things he will open up. Big step last night though I talked with him and he knows I'm very blunt I don't believe in beating around the bush and he said Bro I got a problem and soon he opened that door I unraveled on him. He is going to come by tonight to talk he said I'm the only one he can trust with everything. So I'm hoping we make some progress, right now I got get him to commit to getting off the alcohol before even addressing the PTSD issue and having two parents whom are addict's he knows how i feel about what's going on and i think he needs what @Skysoldier said and just a blunt talking to. I will keep everyone informed.....
 
My father in law (ret. Army 27 year combat vet) is going to reach out him, he said the same thing you all are to me and said maybe if my friend has someone who went through what he did and isn't gonna sugar coat things he will open up. Big step last night though I talked with him and he knows I'm very blunt I don't believe in beating around the bush and he said Bro I got a problem and soon he opened that door I unraveled on him. He is going to come by tonight to talk he said I'm the only one he can trust with everything. So I'm hoping we make some progress, right now I got get him to commit to getting off the alcohol before even addressing the PTSD issue and having two parents whom are addict's he knows how i feel about what's going on and i think he needs what @Skysoldier said and just a blunt talking to. I will keep everyone informed.....

I would be willing to meet him anytime you want if you think it can help....I mean that!
 
@Sky after I see him tonight I'll be able to figure out what state mind he is in. For him to open up like that just out the blue I'm wondering what happened that he realized that he has a problem. If he want's to talk with other's who can relate which he may, I will contact you and link you guy's up and hope for the best. But I'm getting a shaky vibe something went wrong for him to say that to me.
 
@Sky after I see him tonight I'll be able to figure out what state mind he is in. For him to open up like that just out the blue I'm wondering what happened that he realized that he has a problem. If he want's to talk with other's who can relate which he may, I will contact you and link you guy's up and hope for the best. But I'm getting a shaky vibe something went wrong for him to say that to me.

Your last sentence has me confused....[thinking]
 
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