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thesyguy

thesyguy

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Once you make the decision to add CCW to your lifestyle it can expose the true colors of those around you. I cite two examples:

1. My wife - total support in my decision and has now applied for her own LTC and will carry on a daily basis. I was totally blown away by her initial support of my decision to carry and then stunned when she stated she wanted to join me and agreed that our son should get his FID next year when he turns 15 and be included in all aspects of our carrying and training. She was the one who though I should pick up a shotgun at the Plymouth gun show last weekend as it was "a good place to pick up a used one for a decent price"

2. A close friend of over 30 years - We have had a holiday tradition for as long as I can remember of having a "guys night" of Christmas shopping. This year when I ask him when we are going he states "I will only go if you are not carrying." I look at him and cannot believe what I just heard. I ask him why and he states that he does not want to be involved in any "incident" with security if someone notices I am armed and "turns me in." Now this was not said in a nice way, but more confrontational. I told him he is on his own and his attitude was insulting and unnecessary.

Needless to say I am surprised by the attitude of both of them, in entirely different ways.
 
Seems you got two more presents under the tree this year. A more understanding wife who is taking your interest up. And a friend who is letting a difference in gun ownership views end that friendship.
 
My condolences on the loss of a long time friend; hopefully he pulls his head out of his ass in the future and you can go back to being friends, but I doubt it.

Grats on the wife though, she is a keeper, for sure!
 
Wow. That sucks to possibly lose a friendship over you deciding to exercize your rights.

I have to admit I'm much less vocal with friends and family in my life over my decision to carry daily. I just carry and nobody knows except for my wife......to avoid the confrontation. But....if anyone I'm with notices I'm carrying and states their negative opinion about it...well.....they can chose to walk away from a friendship because I'm not stepping down from my decision to exercize my right to self defense due to their being completely niave.
 
I had a similar experience with an old college friend of twenty some odd years. It wasn't a single conversation or event but developed over several years. The last and perhaps final conversation had him red-faced with rage. Sad.
 
It's a shame that your friend views you carrying as a possibility to get into an "incident" as opposed to you possibly having to defend his and your lives. Bummer.
My wife and I had an experience with a friend as well. My wife has a friend from college that went on to become an attorney for a big firm in Boston. When I applied for my LTC, I used her as a reference. She had no problem with it.
Last month, my wife finally decided to get her LTC, and when she asked her friend, she said she didn't feel comfortable with it. She felt that my wife didn't have enough experience. Even after my wife explained that she was planning on taking training classes. Needless to say, it has cooled the relationship a bit.
 
Maybe its not my place but if he's been a friend for 30 yrs I'd say give him a second chance.

You were right to not comprise your decision to carry. Beyond the simple principle of the matter, thats easily evidenced in the string of news stories and other general nuttiness during the holidays.
Your report of the conversation makes it sound like your friends reaction was emotional not logical. Maybe if you were to take him shooting, talk about some of the funny stories about others first carry experience or 'fear of printing' etc. and add in your own experience that nobody really notices/isn't observant and never creates a problem it would help him see the light (or at least become more comfortable) .
If you've already done all that then-I guess it is "to each his own" and just enjoy the season
 
JimB said:
now you know
Click to expand...

nbc_the_more_you_know.jpg
 
You made a good choice in the wife department.

You also found out your friend is a little bitch sheep. You should punch him in the nuts every time you see him from now on.
 
Take your friend shooting, sure him there is no harm, our is fun, and no one notices when you carry.
 
Wow, that is quite a contrast! Well, at least the really important opinion (your wife) is in the correct direction. With your friend it may be an uphill battle if he is that anti, but it is possible that he is just succumbing to pressure from his wife who is against guns, and cautioned him about the risks he was taking by being in your company these days. Best to explore the issue after the holidays in calm way to try to find out what the real problem is, and if it is something you can't overcome through education. Like I said, the important person is on your side because you have to live with her, and that is MUCH harder to deal with if she wasn't 100% on board (ask me how I know![rolleyes]).
 
It does suck that your friend is a huge pussy.

Try inviting him to the range some day, and see if you can allay his fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Most anti's are truly naive, and a positive experience might change his mind. If not, well, at least you've got a good wife.
 
I echo what Engineer said, especially the part about not compromising... but yes, hopefully this won't end a life-long camaraderie as there are far too few of those that are genuine.

My best friend of 20 years was at first the typical, knee-jerk liberal about the whole thing online (he lives a couple of hours away)... "I support hunters and sportsmen, but who needs to carry and who really needs a 100-round clip [sic]"

Then after we hung out in Boston a couple of times he said "you know, I've always felt safe hanging out in the town with you, but knowing that you're carrying makes me feel even safer... oh, and when are we going shooting?!"

His point is that he knows ME and trusts ME. Not sure that he's completely given up all the vestiges of wanting to regulate guns for "everyone else", but it's a start and I reminded him that there are a lot of other sensible people out there who aren't me, and if we armed them we'd ALL be a lot safer.
 
whacko said:
Wow. That sucks to possibly lose a friendship over you deciding to exercize your rights.

I have to admit I'm much less vocal with friends and family in my life over my decision to carry daily. I just carry and nobody knows except for my wife......to avoid the confrontation. But....if anyone I'm with notices I'm carrying and states their negative opinion about it...well.....they can chose to walk away from a friendship because I'm not stepping down from my decision to exercize my right to self defense due to their being completely niave.
Click to expand...

Outside of my wife, kids, and the guys who got me interested in carrying, I have told no one but him. As we have been friends for so long I felt I could trust him with the information. Guess not. I have not told my sister, parents or any other relatives as it is not really relevant. I only post it here because we are all of the same mind set and it is a good place to learn and vent.
 
OP - My wife was not quite as "into it" as yours off the bat, but she is certainly coming around. But the reference to your friend is very similar to the situation with my friends. In my core group of friends (friends for 25+ years) I am the ONLY one who has an LTC. I know that must seem odd to many but its just how things turned out I guess. 3 of them are Non's, 2 are pro-gun but not gun owners, and 1 is absolute anti (and he was the best man in my wedding!). I had No Idea that he was anti our whole lives. He never said anything about it when we were young and I told him about my day at a trap/skeet competition or bird hunting with my family. But as adults, when I told him that I had gotten my LTC he absolutely freaked out. He threw a couple standard anti statements and manipulated stats my way which I brushed off and generally disregarded. Now every conversation we have includes a minor arguement. Luckily, we both know neither of us will change the others mind, so its actually become a bit humerous when we argue. Oh, and I should mention he moved to S. California a few years ago to be with his anti gun, nothing bad will ever happen to me, .gov teet sucking brethren.
 
That's a shame my friend. Hope he see's how petty he is being and turns around but hey, "those that matter dont mind, those that mind dont matter"
 

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