Was sent to me by a friend.
>
> - A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
> The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
> human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
> small.
> The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
> Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
> it was physically impossible.
> The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
> The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
> The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
>
>
>
> - A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
> they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
> As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
> the drawing was.
> The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
> The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
> Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
> "They will in a minute."
>
>
>
> - A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
> five and six year olds.
> After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother,
> she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers
> and sisters?"
> Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
> "Thou shall not kill."
>
>
>
> - One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
> at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
> strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
> She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
> hairs white, Mom?"
> Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
> make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
> The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
> "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>
>
> - The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
> "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
> and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
> doctor.'
> A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
> she's dead."
>
>
>
> - A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
> to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
> the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
> "Yes," the class said.
> "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
> the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
> A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
>
>
>
> - The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
> school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
> made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
> "Take only ONE. God is watching."
> Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
> large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
> A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
> apples.
>
> - A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
> The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
> human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
> small.
> The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
> Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
> it was physically impossible.
> The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
> The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
> The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
>
>
>
> - A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
> they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
> As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
> the drawing was.
> The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
> The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
> Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
> "They will in a minute."
>
>
>
> - A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
> five and six year olds.
> After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother,
> she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers
> and sisters?"
> Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
> "Thou shall not kill."
>
>
>
> - One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
> at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
> strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
> She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
> hairs white, Mom?"
> Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
> make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
> The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
> "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>
>
> - The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
> "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
> and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
> doctor.'
> A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
> she's dead."
>
>
>
> - A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
> to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
> the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
> "Yes," the class said.
> "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
> the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
> A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
>
>
>
> - The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
> school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
> made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
> "Take only ONE. God is watching."
> Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
> large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
> A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
> apples.
