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Things Hallmark Cards Won't Say...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Lynne, Oct 22, 2005.

  1. Lynne

    Lynne

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2005
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Haverhill, MA
    THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T
    SAY



    My tire was thumping.

    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Heard your wife left you,

    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Looking back over the years

    that we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I've always wanted to have

    someone to hold,

    someone to love

    After having met you ..

    I've changed my mind.

    -------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.

    ####################################################

    Congratulations on your promotion.

    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.

    ********************************************************************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    When we were together,

    you always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    We have been friends for a very long time ..

    let's say we stop?

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    I'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.

    =====================================================

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Your friends and I wanted to do

    something special for your birthday

    So we're having you put to sleep.

    ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
     

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