The Lieutenant and the swagger stick.

[Skysoldier]

Back in 1973 I was stationed at Fort Meade, Maryland. I was in a casual company, waiting for my discharge papers.

We had this dumb assed 2LT who was the XO of our company.

He walked into the orderly room one morning before formation carrying a swagger stick.

One of the company clerks asked him, "What the hell is that?"

"It's a swagger stick." the LT said. "Haven't you ever seen one before? My Father sent it to me. Check it out, it's made of Brass and this tip is made of Ivory!"

I looked at him and said, "Nice phallus Sir!"

"What?" he asked.

"Phallus Sir, that's what the French call a swagger stick."

"I never studied French," he said.

He walked into his office and the company clerk and I started laughing.

The next morning he came into the orderly room wearing sunglasses.

"Good Morning LT Spears!" I said.

He looked at me and said, "F*** You Sergeant!" He stormed into his office and slammed the door.

Right behind him was the Company Commander. " SGT ROWLAND!.....IN MY OFFICE, NOW!"

I marched into his office and stood at attention. "SIR, SGT ROWLAND REPORTING!"

"SGT Rowland, did you tell LT Spears that a swagger stick was called a Phallus?"

"Ahhhh...Yes sir, I did. But it was just a joke Sir."

The Captain looked at me and started laughing his ass off.....he almost fell out of his chair laughing.

It seems that the night before, he and the LT stopped off at the officers club. The LT went up to a Majors wife and said, "Would you like to see my new Phallus Ma'm, it has an ivory tip!"

The Major punched him out and gave him a black eye!

 

[Bugs100]

I never met a smart 2nd Lt.

 

[MrsWildweasel]

I never met a smart 2nd Lt.

You're right.

 

[stoneypete]

That made me smile.

 

[KMM696]

I never met a smart 2nd Lt.

I met one, once, but his rank before that was Master Sergeant, and his existence is statistically insignificant.

When a typical 2LT points at his lonely little bar, and asks if you know what that means, I can guarantee the answer he was looking for is not "I've been promoted 5 more times than you have?"

That was fun to watch.....