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Spousal non-approval advice sought
- Thread starter CubJ3
- Start date
namedpipes
NES Member
And, in 20 years, that gun will still be looking good.![[wink]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/002.gif "Wink [wink]")
Well, she's been 29 for some time time now and expects to be so for the rest of our lives.
Of course, that makes me 31, so I'm not bitching.
I suggest that you don't do this. There is likely a huge amount of emotional baggage between you and your wife on this issue. Even if you are a seasoned firearms instructor, chances are this baggage will get in the way of her learning from you.
Instead, contact one of the women instructors at Aware and try to set up a one-on-one shooting introduction for her. You shouldn't even be there. That way she can feel free to enjoy it without having to admit she was wrong.
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+1 Very good advice.
I'm not married, so I haven't had to deal with it from a wife stand-point, but I have had to address similar issues with girlfriends in the past.
The first and most important thing to do is start by setting aside your own prejudices. We, by our nature, "know" guns are mere tools and as safe and natural as any other tool. We "know" the value of a firearm as a hobby, recreation, sport, investment, etc. We need to set that aside to start dealing with a loved ones concern about guns.
The second is to listen. We know our point of view but we really need to understand our loved one's point of view. What don't they like about it? Are guns just "evil"? Do only criminals need guns? Are guns dangerous? Are they just expensive "toys"? Before you can possibly make an intelligent rebuttal, you really need to sit and honestly listen and try to understand their point of view.
The third is to try and address their concerns. This does not mean dismissing their concerns, it means addressing them. If guns are "dangerous" then carefully and meticulously explain the safety features of each gun, the safety proceedures you follow. How you store, handle and keep guns safely. If guns are "evil" explain "why" you shoot. - For most people who think guns are "evil" Self-Defense/home protection is typically not a valid reason. Explain that it's a hobby or sport, that you enjoy the patience and challenge that it presents. That it calms and relaxes you. Relate it to a hobby she has.
Fourth is negotiating a mutual solution. Is there anything you can do to help them be more comfortable with your guns? Would learning about them help? Would coming to the shooting range and watching help? Would trying one or two of them out help?
If you love this person, you want to minimize the confrontation if possible.
The first and most important thing to do is start by setting aside your own prejudices. We, by our nature, "know" guns are mere tools and as safe and natural as any other tool. We "know" the value of a firearm as a hobby, recreation, sport, investment, etc. We need to set that aside to start dealing with a loved ones concern about guns.
The second is to listen. We know our point of view but we really need to understand our loved one's point of view. What don't they like about it? Are guns just "evil"? Do only criminals need guns? Are guns dangerous? Are they just expensive "toys"? Before you can possibly make an intelligent rebuttal, you really need to sit and honestly listen and try to understand their point of view.
The third is to try and address their concerns. This does not mean dismissing their concerns, it means addressing them. If guns are "dangerous" then carefully and meticulously explain the safety features of each gun, the safety proceedures you follow. How you store, handle and keep guns safely. If guns are "evil" explain "why" you shoot. - For most people who think guns are "evil" Self-Defense/home protection is typically not a valid reason. Explain that it's a hobby or sport, that you enjoy the patience and challenge that it presents. That it calms and relaxes you. Relate it to a hobby she has.
Fourth is negotiating a mutual solution. Is there anything you can do to help them be more comfortable with your guns? Would learning about them help? Would coming to the shooting range and watching help? Would trying one or two of them out help?
If you love this person, you want to minimize the confrontation if possible.
+1. GOAL's Women on Target events are another great option.
My father is terrified of guns, doesn't like them at all, and would never own them. My mother on the other hand grew up on a farm, with brothers and father that hunted, she completly fine with them and would probably go shooting with me if she was physicaly able.
Great link Mike Diako, that was funny.
"accuse her of knowing nothing about the subject, and therefore afraid of something she doesn't understand?"
That's pretty much what I would go with.. Maybe you could offer to get her educated, take a Basic Pistol class. She doesn't necessarilt need to go for a LTC, but knowledge is power, ya know??
That's pretty much what I would go with.. Maybe you could offer to get her educated, take a Basic Pistol class. She doesn't necessarilt need to go for a LTC, but knowledge is power, ya know??
I say take her to the range. I have been shooting since 11 (I'm 22 now) and many times at the range I have seen non/anti-gun people converted to loving shooting and they became gun owners themselves. You just have to show her what it is all about. Tell her to at least give it the chance and tell her if she has no opinion change after that then at least she let u try.
I agree, take her shooting, let her shoot a 22 with a 40x scope at 50 yards and pray to god she hits a bunch of bulls eyes, then convince her how much better she is than you![[smile]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/001.gif "Smile [smile]")
and then there will be two gun enthusiasts in your house. At the least she might appreciate your interest in the sport a little more?
After a couple weeks of reinforcement you can move up to the 50BMG.
and then there will be two gun enthusiasts in your house. At the least she might appreciate your interest in the sport a little more?After a couple weeks of reinforcement you can move up to the 50BMG.
No kidding. I feel the same way hubby and I would have to have some really serious problems for that to happen.
We've always been able to communicate with each other and to me that is definitely something you need to be able to do.
Secondly there is no way I would even be with someone that is that anti.
Patriot
NES Member
I hope this is on-topic but when I got married my fiancee knew I owned guns as I had taken
her shooting. She's OK with it, but it's not anything she has an interest in. When we got
married, she attempted to put my gun ownership on the table for discussion. My end of
the discussion went like this:
"I am going to own what I want in guns. I will insure they are stored safely. That they are
secure at all times when not in use, and that is all there is to it." End of discussion. Honestly,
I would not have given up my rights enumerated in the Constitution if that is what it came to.
I've lived (and still do) up to my end of the bargain and so has she.
Not that she hasn't questioned how they seem to have multiplied now and then.
her shooting. She's OK with it, but it's not anything she has an interest in. When we got
married, she attempted to put my gun ownership on the table for discussion. My end of
the discussion went like this:
"I am going to own what I want in guns. I will insure they are stored safely. That they are
secure at all times when not in use, and that is all there is to it." End of discussion. Honestly,
I would not have given up my rights enumerated in the Constitution if that is what it came to.
I've lived (and still do) up to my end of the bargain and so has she.
Not that she hasn't questioned how they seem to have multiplied now and then.
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Be VERY careful of GUN discussions. If you wife says "I am afraid of guns" and the therapist hears "I am afraid of my husband with guns", and the therapist concludes you are in danger or hurting yourself or someone else, certain legal and professional obligations kick in - none of which have appetizing consequences for you.
