Parenting 201: What is snapchat? how much trouble can my 13yo daughter get into?

PaulR

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I have a 16 y/o daughter. I will re-emphasize what others have said to educate your daughter about sexting. It can have tremendous negative effects legally and pshcologically for her. That said, I have 2 other pieces of advice which you may already be doing. First, get amy and all passwords and accounts you can on your daughters phone (email, apps, itunes, whatever she has an account for). Second, make sure your daughter turns her phone over to you at a time you and your wife determine appropriate. Do this on every night. You would be amazed at how much action transpires between kids between 1:00-4:00 AM even during school nights. It is part of their culture now, and I do not know how any kid could get a good nights sleep if they have access to a phone. Set up rules now so that she is used to them as she gets older and the peer pressure greatens. These social networking apps are scary nowadays. From this point on it will get more complicated and difficult for her and the family.

Good advice, thank you. Thanks everyone.
Any chance I can give my three girls back, trade them in for three boys instead?

I know what I was doing at 13-14....I was an early bloomer, man I hate to think back about this stuff....[banghead]
 

drumenigma

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Curious how many kids you have and how old they are. Do you really think a smart phone is the key to excelling in life. I think for a lot of people is is more of a down fall. They get nothing done due to the addiction.
Yup. My step daughter got a new keyboard for her computer because it had RGB lighting or whatever. She had no idea how to plug it in to her pc........ Just because a kid uses technology does not make them tech savvy or understand the consequences of using it. Most will just waste their time not learning anything of value through using tech.
 

Spanz

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Yup. My step daughter got a new keyboard for her computer because it had RGB lighting or whatever. She had no idea how to plug it in to her pc........ Just because a kid uses technology does not make them tech savvy or understand the consequences of using it. Most will just waste their time not learning anything of value through using tech.
true, but youtube will show you, in painful boring detail, how to do almost anything....so I would not BET they can not figure out the technology part. OR they pay some geek in school $5 to set it up for them.

I remember, back in the day, I thought I was pretty smart setting up the kids with AOL children's accounts with limited access. Then checking on her internet cache, I figured out that a friend came over with their older sister's AOL password, and they just cruised the web as adults using the older sisters password. So much for parental controls.

You have to teach them how to grow up fast, and not be naïve. As soon as they are 18 and leave the roost, they will be 100% on their own anyway, so you have to let them try stuff up to that point with relatively loose but present supervision.
 
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SteelShooter

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Snapchat - N A M B L A approved

delete, do not allow

unintended consequences are possible with every picture
 

AllaSnackbah

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the only pics i ever get on snapchat are of drunken retardedness my friends do, pictures of my dog asleep on the couch from my wife, and messages that should be texts but the sender is too lazy to type out. i guess I'm missing out on the good stuff.

either way **** snapchat. but the reality of it all is without good parenting your kids are going to be ****ed up, i dont agree with limiting their access to technology just because it could be used for bad purposes, that sounds like liberal logic to me.
 

johnnymac101

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BTW- Periscope is the way to go! Live broadcast from your phone with text comments from viewers.
Anyone can broadcast and it always ends up with "show up your b00bs!"
 

edmorseiii

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the only pics i ever get on snapchat are of drunken retardedness my friends do, pictures of my dog asleep on the couch from my wife, and messages that should be texts but the sender is too lazy to type out. i guess I'm missing out on the good stuff.

either way **** snapchat. but the reality of it all is without good parenting your kids are going to be ****ed up, i dont agree with limiting their access to technology just because it could be used for bad purposes, that sounds like liberal logic to me.
Sorry about that one snap I sent you of me pissing into the urinal at the bar a few weeks ago, it was hysterical at the time.
 

drgrant

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Sorry about that one snap I sent you of me pissing into the urinal at the bar a few weeks ago, it was hysterical at the time.
You getting some long term revenge from when those people used to blow up your flip phone at like 4 am with group texts when the boat would drift back into coverage? [rofl]

-Mike
 

Shark_Cage

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When my oldest was 9 a friend turned him on to adult sites. When I found out I locked out router down and took his phone away for 6 months.

His friend would go around the neighborhood looking for unsecured wifi.

I thought I had more time before I would have to worry about that stuff.
 

edmorseiii

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You getting some long term revenge from when those people used to blow up your flip phone at like 4 am with group texts when the boat would drift back into coverage? [rofl]

-Mike
Yeah man, that shit makes Homer something something.
 
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Curious how many kids you have and how old they are. Do you really think a smart phone is the key to excelling in life. I think for a lot of people is is more of a down fall. They get nothing done due to the addiction.
3. 16yo daughter, 9 and 11 sons. They are all top of their class in school and active.
 

George D

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The funny thing is if you have it, you can search your contacts and anyone who's cell number you have will show up with their username.
You can tell who uses it for family stuff as their username is their name, and who uses it for other stuff, with names like "SexyWelder", "Hot JJ", etc.
 

JoeT

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I have 2 teen daughters (14 and 13), and trust them enough to let them free reign the internet (and I check history, phones, emails and texts at random). However I see no reason for them to have/use snapchat. thus far it's a battle I've won. What picture could you possibly take that you would need to disappear in 5 minutes?

NOPE!!!!

I know, in theory, when they are skyping with their friends (my 14 year old had a boyfriend briefly, he moved to Florida a few weeks ago), if they wanted to flash a boobie I'd never know. but why make it easy for them
 
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Has it occurred to anybody that people are going to send nudes regardless? At least snapchat has the self destruct feature. It doesn't prevent the spread of the pics completely, but its better than it just living on an email server for eternity.

You either need to accept what technology is capable of and educate them on the pitfalls of it, or literally lock them in a closet until they're 18. It's a good idea to monitor them as well, but know that they're going to be a lot more educated on hiding stuff from you than you will be at finding it.

Don't forget that just because they don't have a phone doesn't mean they can't get into any of this. Do they have an ipod? If so they've been able to do everything they could on a smartphone except for make phonecalls. Same goes for tablets, ipads, kindles, and modern gaming systems.
 

JayMcB

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I have a 16 y/o daughter. I will re-emphasize what others have said to educate your daughter about sexting. It can have tremendous negative effects legally and pshcologically for her. That said, I have 2 other pieces of advice which you may already be doing. First, get amy and all passwords and accounts you can on your daughters phone (email, apps, itunes, whatever she has an account for). Second, make sure your daughter turns her phone over to you at a time you and your wife determine appropriate. Do this on every night. You would be amazed at how much action transpires between kids between 1:00-4:00 AM even during school nights. It is part of their culture now, and I do not know how any kid could get a good nights sleep if they have access to a phone. Set up rules now so that she is used to them as she gets older and the peer pressure greatens. These social networking apps are scary nowadays. From this point on it will get more complicated and difficult for her and the family.
Pro Tip: If you have FIOS, you can apply parental controls and shut off access to WiFi after certain hours, and there is also a service through Verizon that shuts off data plans on a phone after a certain hour. My 12 year old hasn't figured out that when his WiFi shuts off at 10, that he could switch to data, and I don't intent to tell him.
 
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i was just curious, don't read anything into it.
Nothing taken. Like firearms or any other object, I find most things are not about denying your kids the opportunity, but about teaching them what is a both a toy and a tool. Then teaching them how its important to know when to treat the object each way.
 

Goliathan

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Snapchat is like every other social media tool. Can be fun and useful and also can be used for bad purposes. She'll be under social pressure to use it, and some little bastard will try and get her to send things she ought not send. There's the supposed self-destruct feature, but remember that snapchat is what got this dumb bimbo in trouble:

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/dani-mathers-suspended-job-sharing-naked-photo-article-1.2712853

Nothing, and I repeat NOTHING disappears from the internet.
 

Reptile

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Here is a good place to start:

THINK BEFORE YOU CLICK: Playing It Safe Online

http://www.hrmvideo.com/catalog/think-before-you-click-playing-it-safe-online

B CAREFUL WHEN U TXT: The Dangers of Texting and Sexting

http://www.hrmvideo.com/catalog/b-careful-when-u-txt-the-dangers-of-texting-and-sexting



TAMPA, Fla. — A 15-year-old committed suicide after a nude video of her in the shower was posted to Snapchat.

According to WFLA, Tovonna Holton took a gun from her mother’s purse and killed herself in the bathroom. Just hours before, Tovonna’s mother said she had expressed concern over a nude picture her friends had taken without her permission.

“Tovonna would say, ‘Mommy, I owe them; I owe them’. I said, ‘What do you mean you owe them?’ I couldn’t understand what was wrong,” Levon Holton-Teamer told WFLA.

Tovonna’s aunt Angel Scott took to Facebook in search of answers when she discovered a nude video of Tovonna, taken while she was in the shower.

http://fox43.com/2016/06/10/15-year-old-commits-suicide-after-nude-video-leaked-on-snapchat/


You'll never be able to stop a kid from obtaining an iPad / iPod / iPhone and somehow getting online.
If you restrict a kid from going online they will do ANYTHING to obtain a device.

Just like a gun that has "mystique".

Google "girl commits suicide nude photos" and you'll find dozens of news stories of kids who committed suicide from sexting.

They all have a common thread...

Girls were manipulated to or voluntarily sent nude photos to a "friend".

Friend exploits girl to send more or meet IRL (in real life) - for real sex - to avoid having her nudes spread throughout school.

When the boy can no longer get anything more out of her - he uploads the pics on the internet and shared with his buds.

Extreme embarrassment and bullying result cuz now she's a slut and they'll make the girl's life a living hell.

Snapchat at KIK (another app) lower girls inhibitions because they think it is safe.


All a parent can do is explain how these hustles work and how girls get tricked.

If you daughter read half the stories out there she would think twice about sexting.

Just like with alcohol, drugs, sex (pregnancy and diseases), guns - all a parent or school can do is to educate the kid.

Furthermore, kids need to know that they can come to you if they get in that sort of trouble. They need to know that if they screw up like that, you will help them to resolve it.

If there is a real case a kid has with exploitation - do not hesitate to go to the police and report it.

Most of the perps are not skilled enough to hide their true ID's and they can stopped.
 
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Parenting 201: What is snapchat? how much trouble can my 13yo daughter get i...

My daughters are currently 10 and 8. My boy is 7.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuudging hate threads like these.

No interest in Internet stuff for them yet except the school math games online and Minecraft videos. And watching my wife play Pokemon Go.
 
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Unfortunately teenagers are not known for making great decisions in general. With today's technology one bad decision can haunt you for the rest of your life. If you do something stupid and post it, the world will know it for ever.
 

GPP

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Good advice, thank you. Thanks everyone.
Any chance I can give my three girls back, trade them in for three boys instead?

I know what I was doing at 13-14....I was an early bloomer, man I hate to think back about this stuff....[banghead]

If youd like to REALLY worry about the possibilities of snapchat, kik, omegle, instagram, I messaging etc etc etc and have about 4 hours to kill, you can come meet me at work, and Ill give you redacted taste of the case Ive been doing since 02 Jan.

Oops, I almost forgot the greatest app ever.....Oovoo.
If your kids have these downloaded, you should all be worried lol, even if your kid is a "good" kid. Trust me here.
 
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PaulR

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Thanks but no thanks GPP. I'm going to stay here and live in my happy bubble as long as I can. [grin]

damn when I was a kid I had my mothers "Our Bodies Ourselves" book to thumb through and that as IT!

I will be having to step up my technology game.
The VZW site is nice. I can see every number she texts and when, that's a meager start, will have to get a LOT more detailed.
It sucks, finding the fine line between teaching them, letting them learn, letting them make mistakes, protecting them, over-protecting them, etc.
 
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Thanks but no thanks GPP. I'm going to stay here and live in my happy bubble as long as I can. [grin]

damn when I was a kid I had my mothers "Our Bodies Ourselves" book to thumb through and that as IT!

I will be having to step up my technology game.
The VZW site is nice. I can see every number she texts and when, that's a meager start, will have to get a LOT more detailed.
It sucks, finding the fine line between teaching them, letting them learn, letting them make mistakes, protecting them, over-protecting them, etc.
If she has an IPhone, IMessage texts don't show on the bill, at least they didn't last I checked.
 
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