Official Worst Jokes Ever Thread

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Joe the Environmentalist moves into a brand new house on Main Street. In order to save on electricity for lighting, and his heating bills, the house is built like a giant greenhouse. Joe likes to smoke his weed, and doesn't seem to care who sees. His wife Jane keeps warning him, but Joe keeps on puffing as everyone in the neighborhood goes by. One day Johnny Law is cruising by, sees what's going on, and arrests Joe. Joe goes to court before the judge and tells his story. The judge tells him that he should have listened to his wife, and that maybe next time he'll take her advice:

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People that live in glass houses shouldn't get stoned.
 

smokey-seven

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Me: What’s the wifi password here?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Ok, I’ll have a Coke.
Is Pepsi okay?
Thanks. How much?
$3.
There you go. So what’s the wifi password?
you need to buy a drink first. All lower case and don’t forget the period.



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smokey-seven

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A game show host is talking to a rabbit The host looks at his question card. "Okay, here is your first question: What is 7 plus 5?" "Twelve", replied the rabbit. "That's correct! Now for question 2: What is 56 minus 37?" The rabbit thought for a moment. "Nineteen" "That's correct! Okay, now here is your grand prize question: How much is 1,297 times 142?" And without skipping a beat, the rabbit immediately replied, "184,174, what else?" The host is surprised. "That's correct! But tell me, how did you get the final answer so quickly?" "Oh, that's easy," said the rabbit. "If there's one thing us rabbits can do, it's multiply!"

A rabbit came into a shop and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller answered, "No!" The next day the rabbit came again and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller replied "No!" Next day the rabbit came and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller shouted, "No! And if you come again and ask for carrots, I'll take nails and hammer you on the wall by your ears!" Early next morning the rabbit came back and asked, " Got any nails?" The seller answered, "No!" The rabbit asked, "Got any carrots?"


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SKumar

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For all my Jewish homies:

How was copper wire invented? Two Jews were fighting over a penny.

How was the grand canyon formed? A Jew dropped a nickel down a gopher hole.

Did you hear about the new Jewish car? Not only does it stop on a dime, it picks it up.
 
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