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This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a beer. The drunk guy next to him says: "Do you want to know something cool? If you jump out the window here, the air current 10 floors down is so strong, it picks you up and pushes you through the window on that floor." The new guy doesn't believe it, so the drunk walks over to the window, and jumps out. 1. 2. 4. 6. 9. And at the 10th floor he flies in through the window. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again and says "see?" The new guy still isn't convinced and thinks it was a fluke. So the drunk orders a beer, finishes it and then jumps out the window again. 1. 2. 4. 6. 9. And at the 10th floor he flies in through the window again. Five minutes later and he's back. "WOW!" exclaims the newcomer, "Are you sure it's safe?" "Of course. It's simple physics." So the newcomer orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out. 1. 2. 4. 6. 9. 11. 14. 20. Splat. The drunk shrugs and goes back to the bar and orders another beer. The bartender looks over to the guy and says,On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky, you cow!"
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. While this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you bitch!"
Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now or I'll kick your ass!"
The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you're a ballsy bastard!"