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Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Blitz1, Jul 26, 2008.
I've been trying to put together a hide-and-seek league, but good players are hard to find.
What's the difference between a seal, and a sealion?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa, best joke ever.
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Dammit. I tripped over a box of Kleenex earlier today. Doctor says I've suffered some tissue damage.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
What happened to the professor's plant in Math class?
It grew square roots.
Next time you go to a restaurant and they ask if you have reservations, tell them you do but you've decided to eat there anyway.
I've actually done that.
"Why, what have you heard???"
Paul Revere had a chicken named Gallo. When the American Revolution was well underway, he spent several nights training the chicken secretly in his barn. When he finally felt Gallo was ready, he brought it with him to the Sons of Liberty. At first, they laughed.
“Well, now, laugh if you want, but this here is a highly trained chicken, and Gallo here will help us win the war!”
They laughed some more. One of the menspoke up, “What kind of name is Gallo, anyways?”
“Italian” said Paul Revere. A man from Italytraded it for some silver work I did for him.” He set the chicken down. “But as I said, this bird here is *highly trained!”
Another man spoke up. “Trained for what? To lay an egg in the king?” Again more laughter.
“No!” Revere was growing impatient. “Gallo here is trained to sniff out British sympathizers!”
“Lies!” Several men called out.
“It’s true, I tell you! Just wait until you see my Italian Chicken catch a Tory!”
They don't call this the official "Worst" jokes thread for nuthin!
There are some holes.
For one, I can’t figure out what he had to do to train the chicken.
There are some things that are best left unknown.
Did you think the joke about Gallo lay o egg?
Well let's just say it was bad enough that I repeated it.
It just occurred to me: Earth is really having a lot of success in the Miss Universe pageant.
How many grammar Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Red/blue spectrum shift?
... But, Officer .... at the speed I was going the light appeared green ....
and short/long visual Doppler effect.
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?
If it is in Massachusetts, you get a democrat.
Why did Mr Kraft put on war paint?
He heard that Grandma was beating off the Indians.
Whats long a hard on an Asian women?
Separate names with a comma.