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Official Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Blitz1, Jul 26, 2008.

  1. Andy in NH

    Andy in NH NES Life Member NES Member

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    I've been trying to put together a hide-and-seek league, but good players are hard to find.
     
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  2. JayMcB

    JayMcB NES Member

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  3. Sauer Grapes

    Sauer Grapes NES Member

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  4. milktree

    milktree NES Member

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    What's the difference between a seal, and a sealion?

    An electron.
     
  5. FancyGunz

    FancyGunz NES Member

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    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa, best joke ever.


    What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

    Roberto
     
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  6. scatter

    scatter NES Member

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    Dammit. I tripped over a box of Kleenex earlier today. Doctor says I've suffered some tissue damage.
     
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  7. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

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    What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

    Ouch
     
  8. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

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    Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"

    "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

    The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

    Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
     
  9. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

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    What happened to the professor's plant in Math class?

    It grew square roots.
     
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  10. scatter

    scatter NES Member

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    Next time you go to a restaurant and they ask if you have reservations, tell them you do but you've decided to eat there anyway.
     
  11. EddieA

    EddieA NES Member

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    I've actually done that.
     
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  12. Golddiggie

    Golddiggie NES Member

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    "Why, what have you heard???"
     
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  13. Jason Flare

    Jason Flare NES Member

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    Paul Revere had a chicken named Gallo. When the American Revolution was well underway, he spent several nights training the chicken secretly in his barn. When he finally felt Gallo was ready, he brought it with him to the Sons of Liberty. At first, they laughed.

    “Well, now, laugh if you want, but this here is a highly trained chicken, and Gallo here will help us win the war!”

    They laughed some more. One of the menspoke up, “What kind of name is Gallo, anyways?”

    “Italian” said Paul Revere. A man from Italytraded it for some silver work I did for him.” He set the chicken down. “But as I said, this bird here is *highly trained!”

    Another man spoke up. “Trained for what? To lay an egg in the king?” Again more laughter.

    “No!” Revere was growing impatient. “Gallo here is trained to sniff out British sympathizers!”

    “Lies!” Several men called out.

    “It’s true, I tell you! Just wait until you see my Italian Chicken catch a Tory!”
     
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  14. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

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    They don't call this the official "Worst" jokes thread for nuthin!
     
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  15. Jason Flare

    Jason Flare NES Member

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    There are some holes.

    For one, I can’t figure out what he had to do to train the chicken.
     
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  16. FPrice

    FPrice Retired Zoomie NES Life Member NES Member

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    There are some things that are best left unknown.
     
  17. bfm

    bfm NES Member

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    Did you think the joke about Gallo lay o egg?
     
  18. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

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    Well let's just say it was bad enough that I repeated it.
     
  19. scatter

    scatter NES Member

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    It just occurred to me: Earth is really having a lot of success in the Miss Universe pageant.
     
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  20. Andy in NH

    Andy in NH NES Life Member NES Member

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    How many grammar Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Too.
     
  21. milktree

    milktree NES Member

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  22. FPrice

    FPrice Retired Zoomie NES Life Member NES Member

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  23. rcoolbaugh

    rcoolbaugh

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    ... But, Officer .... at the speed I was going the light appeared green ....
     
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  24. milktree

    milktree NES Member

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    and short/long visual Doppler effect.
     
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  25. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

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    What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

    Elephino.
     
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  26. smokey-seven

    smokey-seven NES Member

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    If it is in Massachusetts, you get a democrat.
     
  27. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

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    FIFY
     
  28. Pete85

    Pete85

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    milktree likes this.
  29. Shark_Cage

    Shark_Cage NES Member

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    Why did Mr Kraft put on war paint?
    He heard that Grandma was beating off the Indians.
     
  30. Chevy 2 65

    Chevy 2 65 NES Member

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    Whats long a hard on an Asian women?
     

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