Official Worst Jokes Ever Thread

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I'll start.

2 peanuts were walking down the road in a bad neighborhood.









































One was a salted.

[sad2][rolleyes][wink]


Please post your groaners.


BTW no copying my earlier joke and posting them here...Rob57
 
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P-14

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This sandwich walks in to a bar and sits down at the bar. The bartender comes up and glares at the sandwich and says, "What do you want?" [angry]

Sandwich says, "Gimme a drink!"

Bartender says, "NO WAY. We don't serve food here."

Badumpum ching!
 
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A twisted up piece of string walks into a bar and says "gimme a bourbon"

The bartender says "We don't allow string in here. Are you a piece of string?"

Nope, I'm afraid not.
 

Davidk

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Two potatoes are walking down the street. How do you know which one is the prostitute?







The one with the sticker that says "Idaho"
 
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This one doesn't translate well into written form, but it used to be my brother's favorite joke when we were young [grin]:

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow.

Interrupting Cow wh... MOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
 
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A panda walks into a bar. The bartender says "hey, we don't serve pandas here." But the panda says "Just give me something to eat, and then I'll go." The bartender says "Oh, all right." So the panda eats the food that the bartend er gives him. So the bartender says, "OK, now you have to leave." But the panda says "Oh no I don't." and he (the panda) pulls out a gun!!! and pow! pow! shoots up the bar. The Panda starts to leave. The bartender says "Hey! you can't just leave after s hooting at us!" the panda says "Oh, yes I can. Look me up in the dictionary." So the panda leaves and the bartender gets out a dictionary and looks up panda. It says: "Panda - eats shoots and leaves."

----shorter ones---

What's an archeologist?
Someone whose career is in ruins.

What happens when two snails fight?
They slug it out.

How did the artist paint a picture?
Easel-y.
 

dreppucci007

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Did you hear about the two guys who robbed a house and took everything but the soap and towels?...


They were dirty crooks!


(Hey, it's not called the Official Worst Jokes Ever Thread for nothing)
 

Andy in NH

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Two cannibals were eating a clown.

The first cannibal says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

The second cannibal says, "No, but I'm having a ball."

The first cannibal says, Well then, you are eating too fast!"
 
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A man is sitting at a bar, and he hears a voice that say's "Nice pants!"
He looks around and there's noone else there but him.
Then suddenly, he hears the voice again and it says "Nice Shirt!"
Again, there's noone around but him.
The bartender appears from the back room, and the man say's "Excuse me, but I keep hearing this voice, and there doesn't appear to be anyone around. First it said "Nice pants!" then it said "Nice shirt!", what is going on here?
The bartender looks at him and says, "Oh, those are the peanuts."
"They're complimentary."
 
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