NJ Barbie's Back

[Nickle]

Another from from a Biker friend, in NJ (a lady as well).


NJ Barbie's Back

Mattel announced 6 "New" NJ Barbie's... just in time for the Holidays:

1. Summit-Chatham Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at the Short Hills mall. She comes with Kenneth Cole 4-inch clunky shoes, an assortment of Kate Spade handbags and a Mercedes-Benz stretch limo. Options include tummy tuck, face lift and workaholic Ken.

2. Newark-Elizabeth Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider tricked-out Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows.

3. Hoboken-Jersey City Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, which cruises until 2:00 am.

4. Alpine-Tenafly Barbie
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

5. Trenton-Cherry Hill Barbie
This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, bleached hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.

6. Belmar-Seaside Heights Barbie
This gum-chewing, Trans-Am driving Barbie wears white pumps and walks on the boardwalk [note: heel falling between the boards included]. Her make-up is dark colored lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly nude color. Her ensemble includes low-rise flared colored jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there see-through shirt. Her hair is BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and Springsteen CD's, large can of Stiff Stuff Hair Spray, 6 pre-paid tanning sessions, mirrored heart pendant [won on the boardwalk] engraved with boyfriend name [gold chain ordered separately] [default tattoo : Vinnie].

 

[cdkayak]

Amazing how accurate these are.....

 

[Chris]

Still waiting for the Revere Beach Barbie... Now that would be freaking scarey.

 

[Nickle]

I can just envision the "Woodchuck Barbie". Jeans, flannel shirt, boots, cap, deer rifle, 4WD pick-up truck. Accesories would be a chain saw, 4 wheeler and sled (snowmobile), with a pistol and shotgun optional. Music CD options would be 2 - One Country, the other Classic Rock.

 

[phillip]

i was just surfing around and came across the Machine Gun Barbie, but you probably can't purchase it in Ma.

 

[daveInME]

wow,
things haven't changed much down there since I escaped in 1980
with the exception of Hoboken / JC.
those were the ultimate in slums back then.

 

[rscalzo]

NJ Barbie

You really have to be a resident of NJ to truly understand those references. The Hoboken/Jersey City can be accurate depending on the section. JC has one of the highest murder rates in the state. But not to worry. The town council passed a one handgun every six months law this week.

I spent my summers in Belmar....Couldn't beat it. Seven beers for a dollar in the only bar in the town...Now it's ten bucks to walk in the door and six bucks a beer...Priced out of the area now....Woke up on the beach a few times with the question "What was your name again?".
Dave, don't you wish you bought a few of those brownstones for thirty thou back then. Each condo in those units now go for one mil plus.

 

[daveInME]

I spent my summers in Belmar....Couldn't beat it. Seven beers for a dollar in the only bar in the town...Now it's ten bucks to walk in the door and six bucks a beer...Priced out of the area now....Woke up on the beach a few times with the question "What was your name again?".
Dave, don't you wish you bought a few of those brownstones for thirty thou back then. Each condo in those units now go for one mil plus.

same here, grandparents owed a house on 13th and C st
I do wish I owned that one, don't even want to guess what a 4 bedroom house 3 blocks from the ocean is worth now.

there were bars in Belmar?
I used to spend my time at the stone pony.

 

[rscalzo]

Stone Pony was in Asbury Park, wasn't it?? The greatest bar in the state was in Belmar. D'Jais right at 16th. and Ocean Ave. Same band is STILL playing there with a few of the same band members since the mid to late 60's which was called HOLME. They are the ones parked in the Handicap Parking spaces !!!

On the weekends, from 12 noon until 2pm when the band came on, the beers were seven for a dollar. From 2pm on, they were five for a dollar. These were seven oz. drafts of questionable quality. We're not talkin' the GOOD stuff by any means.

I really miss those days.........

 

[daveInME]

Stone Pony was in Asbury Park, wasn't it??

yup, just up the street from the carousel.
I used to watch some pimply faced kids, named Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel there.

then there were all the clubs further north on rt 35 where I used to go and see other "no names",

yeah it was nice.

 

[JWalker]

You forgot the Bayonne Barbie.
My ex was from Bayonne.
Now THAT'S a city stuck in a time warp.
Big hair and triple decker houses stacked side by side inches apart!

I don't miss Jersey City either...what a fun place (Journal Square).

Hoboken is a great place to go out at night with cool bars and lounges.

And of course the "Bayonne Bleeder" boxer Chuck Wepner still resides there.

 

[Twigg]

Trenton-Cherry Hill Barbie
This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, bleached hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.

This sounds so much like a former girlfirend it sacres me... only difference was she drove a 280Z

 

[Arioch]

Still waiting for the Revere Beach Barbie... Now that would be freaking scarey.

"Quick, where's the hair spray! Ken's coming for me in his Corvette convertible!"

 

[rscalzo]

I worked off duty detail watching over Springstein doing a video in our town. He used a house and the young son of a friend of mine who owned a bar in the town where Springstein played before he became big. Actually he was a decent guy. This was way back when he was still with his first wife.

 

[Scrivener]

Atlantic City / Revere Beach - what's the difference?

Don't forget the Revere Beach Debutante Ball - taking on the entire football team while spread-eagled across the hood of a Trans Am.

 

[dreppucci007]

 

[rscalzo]

Atlantic City is a great town...as long as you don't stray more than a block west of the beach. Then you take your life into your hands. It is almost as dangerous wandering into the wrong part of town as it would be to take the favorite seat on the AC casino bus from a senior citizen.