NEWS FLASH FROM THE YEAR 2029!!

Nickle

Nickle

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NEWS FLASH FROM THE YEAR 2029!!

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the
American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.


Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

85 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lb.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA (National Black Activity) players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. ... and finally, IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75% and Florida Democrats still don't know how to use voting Machine
 
The site I stole that from is run by a Gun Dealer (Dave Petronis) just north of Albany, NY. He puts on a few shows every year. Not a bad guy, but watch his prices.

I'm begining to like his outlook on a few things.
 
"Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. "

I wonder how long till this REALLY happens. With Email and Ecommerce, and whatever they call that thing that lets utility companys take money right out of your account (that I don't like and don't do).

But cash is vanishing, and people are using Mail less and less often.

-Weer'd Beard
 
Lynne said:
They're raising the price of stamps in January...I forget what it's going up to.
Click to expand...

$0.39 for first class mail. Forget what post cards are going up to since I never use them. But since I mail out ~120 notices for my Lodge each month, the news sort of caught my eye... [roll]
 
Headlines From 2029

Headlines from the year 2029:

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of
the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq,Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed,
they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (Hummmmmmmmm)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
 
Headlines from 2029

From another forum:

1. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,formerly known as California.

2. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

3. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

4. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

5. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

6. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decrease s to safe levels.

7. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

8. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

9. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

10. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

11. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

12. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

13. Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

14. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

15. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

16. Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

17. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

18. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

19. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

20. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

21. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

22. Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
 
23. Depsite gun control bans where only police and military can posses guns, ammo, knifes, crime is up 28% in the past month, a total of 461% this year alone.
 
24. Life expectancy of our congress men has reached an all time high of 123 years, while the life expectancy of the rest of americans has droped to 47 and is still going down. Our health care system is right on schedule.
 
Headlines from 2029

Something a co-worker passed on to me.

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwesternUnited States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over byJamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what?....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or very very scared.
Click to expand...
 
And a few hundred years after that, then you get.... Idiocracy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy

idiocracy1.jpg


idiocracy2.jpg


"SPONSORED BY CARLS JR!"

-Mike
 
http://hardware.slashdot.org/hardware/08/02/17/0141254.shtml

News from SLASHDOT - The Nuts and Volts of News for Nerds

Artificial Intelligence at Human Level by 2029?

"Some members of the US National Academy of Engineering have predicted that Artificial Intelligence will reach the level of humans in around 20 years. Ray Kurzweil leads the charge: 'We will have both the hardware and the software to achieve human level artificial intelligence with the broad suppleness of human intelligence including our emotional intelligence by 2029. We're already a human machine civilization, we use our technology to expand our physical and mental horizons and this will be a further extension of that. We'll have intelligent nanobots go into our brains through the capillaries and interact directly with our biological neurons.' Mr Kurzweil is one of 18 influential thinkers, and a gentleman we've discussed previously. He was chosen to identify the great technological challenges facing humanity in the 21st century by the US National Academy of Engineering. The experts include Google founder Larry Page and genome pioneer Dr Craig Venter."
 
Those would be very funny, if they didn't seem probable. There is only one I think can never happen...
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Click to expand...
Nope!
 
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .


White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.


Average weight of Americans drops to
250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares Me!
 
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

I found this on another board but figured if this country survives 2012 and continues on to 2029 these things may come true.


1. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

2. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

3. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

4. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

5. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


6. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

7. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help th e beleaguered nation!

8. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking..

9. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

10. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only..

11. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

12. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

13. Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

14. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

15. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States

16. Senate still blocking drilling in ANWAR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

17. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

18. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

19. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

20. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

21. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

22. Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what.. ..NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very very scared.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares Me!
Click to expand...
 
"The last survivor of what became know as the Beer Rebellion died this morning at Guantanamo Bay, where he was the sole prisoner for the last eight years.

A relic of the area of factionalism, when the former United States was represented by two major political parties, he was captured by North Korean forces at the Battle of Becket during the doomed separatist uprising of 2015, in the area now known as Western Alinsky.

"theGringo" was 70 years old."
 
JonJ said:
Mega merge of 6 2029 threads!
Click to expand...
One more symptom of our being ahead of the idiocracy timeline[laugh]

"Ow my balls"

As for Florida voters - don't be silly, Florida and most of SoCal will have long since defected to the South American Union (run by members of the former Drug, Telco and Oil Oligarchs in the region).

I think we have all been looking at this wrong... Looking at Europe during and just after WWI and WWII - we've been living in a happy bubble... What we are experiencing now is more the norm... [sad2]
 

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