National Park Service warns against sacrificing slower friends in a bear attack ‘even if the friendship has run its course’

I was hiking in Glacier National Park (Montana) several years ago. Our group split in two as the faster people didn’t want to wait for the slower folks in our group (key to the story because they had the bear spray)...

I was first in the pack of the slower group (I didn’t really want to wait either, but didn’t want to abandon my friends like an A-hole) when all of a sudden, a cinnamon-colored black bear came up onto the trail from the lower brush and was 30-50 feet from me. I froze in my tracks, put my arms up to make my silhouette as big as possible and started backing up slowly. The bear stared at me, and I stared back at it, as we sized each other up. If in fact it was a grizzly, I was F’ed at that point anyways because it could clearly out run me. Our group had also just hiked up past a family of four with two young kids.

By this point, other folks started to stack-up behind me, as the bear crossed the trail to higher ground. Clearly a younger animal, it sat on a flat rock in the sun and pulled at some sapling branches playing. It was like being at the zoo without the protection of a cage/bars. Like true Americans, we all took out our cell phone cameras and started snapping photos.

Eventually, the animal appeared to get bored, hopped off the rock and started flanking us on the high-ground in the brush. We all took that as our cue to skedaddle. On the way back we took the same trail (it was the most direct route) mindful of where we saw the bear. Within that general vicinity, there were two sets of crisscross bear claw marks about 4-5’ up on a tree adjacent to the trail. It was so prominent, I swear I would have noticed it on the way up. I’m not saying this exact bear made those exact marks, but I saw a bear waaaay closer than I ever thought I would, and those claw marks had to be 1/8” deep into the bark of the tree.

Moral of that story: Don’t F- with nature. Maybe carry two cans of bear spray (LOL) Just about the only person I’d stand in between a bear for is my kiddo. Everyone else is pretty much on their own.


I would just need a 9mm....maybe a .40.... That will take care of any bear....(sarc)
 
What if there is more than one bear chasing you...???

 
I told her I needed help rehearsing for "Naked & Afraid XL". She asked no questions...
 
I was on vacation recently out West. I hiked in Grand Teton and Yellowstone. I was too cheap to buy bear spray. The only thing that I ran into was a big bull Moose. I checked out a wildlife refuge that had grizzly bears and wolves. More people are killed by lightning strikes than by bears. I'd guess that more people are killed by hitting deer as well.20200806_094451.jpg
 
I was on vacation recently out West. I hiked in Grand Teton and Yellowstone. I was too cheap to buy bear spray. The only thing that I ran into was a big bull Moose. I checked out a wildlife refuge that had grizzly bears and wolves. More people are killed by lightning strikes than by bears. I'd guess that more people are killed by hitting deer as well.View attachment 379140

That's what they tell you. Of course, lightning and deer don't eat you, so they find the body.
 
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the PopeMobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.

A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a ‘Save the Whales’ hat and a ‘To Hell with Trump’ T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear’s chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. ‘I give you my blessing for your brave actions!’ he told them. ‘I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.’

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies ‘Who was that guy?’

‘It was the Pope,’ another replied. ‘He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.

‘Well,’ the logger said, ‘he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn’t know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?’
 
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