My elderly coonhound and I were violently assaulted by a feline while poolside in a dream: AR15 with laser was drawn

[Reptile]

I just woke up from a violent dream I had this morning. I will relay what transpired for the hive to mull over.

I was on vacation in Florida. Poolside with my elderly coonhound drinking sweet ice tea.

Besides us, there were some bikini clad females who were speaking a foreign language.

There was also a gray feline prowling the area, but I didn't realize it would be a threat.

Suddenly the feline violently assaults my coonhound. The feline is hissing and making threatening clawing gestures. I yell at the feline to get away but she gets even more angry.

Fearing for the life of my coonhound, I present my AR15 from under my fat roll.

I yell at the feline.

I aim the AR at the feline as I switch the safety off.

The feline is still in attack mode and I am about to fire.

The AR I'm using has a powerful green laser which is beginning the distract the feline. The feline is chasing the green laser which I soon realize so I point it on the ground away from us.

The breaks off it's attack and follows the laser away.

The attack was stopped. I comforted my coonhound and contemplated my actions.


1. When you carry a hammer or a gun, not every problem is a nail or something that needs to be shot. Even though I was wearing 5 Finger Gloves on my feet, I could have kicked the feline.

2. I could have thrown patio furniture at the feline.

3. I was lucky there were no Karens by the pool or else they could have called the police or began recording on their phones.

I realize that because I was dreaming, my actions were not responsible. I have learned from this.

I'm going back to sleep now.

 

[FPrice]

I haven't got the words...

I ain't got the words.

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[Picton]

I haven't got the words...

No indeed.

Why was your coonhound drinking sweet iced tea?

Poolside with my elderly coonhound drinking sweet ice tea.

A comma would have helped greatly.

 

[Deleted member 67409]

No indeed.

Why was your coonhound drinking sweet iced tea?

A comma would have helped greatly.

Commas ain't the issue here when he's got lines like this:

I present my AR15 from under my fat roll

I have seen one obese person, and I do mean obese, tactically take advantage of his own fat. Back when I was a member of a particularly large club in NW RI, I was at the rifle range when I saw this large guy shooting a .22 revolver. He was resting his elbows on his stomach and leaning back at like a thirty degree angle. Like a bench rest of fat.

 

[DarthRevan]

No indeed.

Why was your coonhound drinking sweet iced tea?



A comma would have helped greatly.

No, it was the coonhound drinking the sweet tea.

 

[Picton]

No, it was the coonhound drinking the sweat tea.

Fair enough.

Carry on.

 

[one-eyed Jack]

I once dreamt that I swallowed a 10 pound marshmallow. When I woke up, I couldn't find my pillow. Jack.

 

[Choctaw]

My guess . . .

 

[Twigg]

No, it was the coonhound drinking the sweat tea.

Tea made from sweat ? Eeewwww

 

[DarthRevan]

I once had a weird bad dream.
It was a gun club meeting and they were voting to self enforce their own stricter “Environmental Groundwater Protection Act” and all the old fogeys voted in favor while the younger people were against it, then from the back of the room came out this Karen, demanding why those of us who vote dagainst it hated the planet and wanted it to die.
Then the old guys started groping and fawning over her and thankfully I woke up before it got graphic.

I needed a morning whisky for that to go away.

 

[DarthRevan]

Tea made from sweat ? Eeewwww

God damn it that’s the second post of mine I’ve f***ed the spelling of in the last 24hrs. Lol

 

[Picton]

I've never remembered any of my dreams but one or two.

After reading this thread, I'm very grateful for that.

 

[SPG]

If it was my old Coonhound, the cat would be deaf from her howling

 

[TrashcanDan]

 

[SpaceCritter]

So is this officially a weird dream thread?

If so, there was the one where I peed in the Pope's lemonade.

Or the one set in the hospital cafeteria featuring malicious vending machines, mud-wrestling nurses, and baby carriages that summon flying saucers.

 

[drgrant]

Reptile, I'm surprised,, given you, that it didn't involve shooting marauding frogs....


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JRLCBb7qK8

 

[BTSDOG]

I think you might need some of mommies little helper......

 

[boscru]

seriously? we need to get the bars open again

 

[enbloc]

 

[apander]

Moderator doesn't this belong in the way off topic forurm, besides somebody said it was a dupe.

 

[Yazz]

Far out Man.

 

[jkelly1229]

I had a dream where a naked Indian took me to Jim Morrison so I could put on a rock concert to impress my smoking asian girlfriend.

What did it all mean?


Other than i just watched Wayne's world 2

 

[shootymacshootface]

Is your dog racist or something?

 

[swatgig]

I realize that because I was dreaming, my actions were not responsible.

Doesn't matter. Swatting imminent.

 

[greencobra]

stay with what you know mr. reptile, freelancing is not your best thing.

 

[426wedge]

Dude, groovy man.

 

[Deleted member 12999]

Reptile... I like you man, but you need to get out a bit more